Turn the Page
by SydneyAlice
Summary: Edward Cullen returns home after ten years as a struggling musician. As he attempts to reconnect with his family and the life he left behind, he meets Bella, the owner of the town's bookstore. Can she convince him that there's no place like home? AH.
1. The House That Built Me

**AN: New story! I'm excited! As usual, music is my inspiration. The story title comes from Bob Seger. This chapter's title comes from Miranda Lambert. How's that for a combination?**

**Disclaimer: This is going to serve as the disclaimer for this entire story. I am not Stephenie Meyer. These are her characters. This plot line, however, is all mine. :)**

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Chapter 1

_The House That Built Me_

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"_I got lost in this old world_

_And forgot who I am…"_

EPOV

Isn't it funny how small towns never really change?

My little hometown passed in my periphery through the tinted windows of my rental car. It was dismally cloudy as a cold rain pelted my windshield. I adjusted the speed of the wipers to compensate for the brisk rain shower that had been my companion since I'd exited onto Highway 101.

One thing was for certain.

The weather sure hadn't changed.

To be fair, some things _had_ changed in this little town. The movie theater had been renovated to look a little more modern, and it had been expanded to three screens. I couldn't help but smirk as I noticed the marquee and recognized the names of three movies – all of which had been released over four months ago.

And the admission price was still a dollar.

I continued along South Forks Avenue until I reached the first traffic light – the first of the three lights in town. I glanced to my right and noticed that the greasy diner had survived last year's forest fire. I found it funny that the most flammable place in town had somehow survived a raging blaze that had ripped through the outer region of the Olympic Peninsula.

Cockroaches and Newton's Diner would withstand nuclear war.

To my left, I saw a Subway Restaurant. This was new. But from the looks of the empty parking lot, it appeared that the sandwich shop was no competition for the crowded family diner just across the street.

I made a mental note to eat there often.

Not because I particularly liked subs. But because I liked my privacy.

Like every other small town in America, I noticed that Forks now had a shopping Supercenter. And – because someone in corporate management was a complete moron – the place was actually open twenty-four hours a day. I was positive that the utility bill to keep those lights burning all day and night was in serious contrast to the daily sales figures. Someone was bound to be losing money.

I drove northward and noticed a local car dealership – Clearwater Motors – which I assumed was owned by Harry and his wife, Sue. Or maybe their son? What was his name? Steve? Shawn? No….Seth. Seth Clearwater. Back in high school, he'd been the quarterback of the Spartans football team, which meant that – in this little town – he was royalty. He could have gone on to be President of the United States, but it wouldn't have mattered to the folks in Forks. His biggest claim to fame would forever be that he'd led the Spartans to the state championship two years in a row.

By the time I reached the third traffic light, I was a little bored with just how much hadn't changed in this sleepy logging town when I noticed a book store. This was definitely new – or at least new within the past five years. I noticed the name of the book store and couldn't help but grin. It was my first honest smile since entering the city limits.

_**Turn the Page**_

Someone in this town was pretty creative – and a Bob Seger fan. It looked comfortable and welcoming and not too busy, and I made another mental note to visit as soon as I was settled in at home.

_Home._

Nervously, I ran my hand through my hair and turned up the radio. With a deep breath, I flipped the turn signal and turned onto the winding road that ran adjacent to the Sol Duc River. I took my time on the three-mile stretch of driveway that – according to my father – had been the house's finest selling point. Carlisle had always craved his privacy and seclusion. As a boy, I never understood it – that healing peace that my father found on his front porch, surrounded by the sounds of nature, the warmth of his family, and the sanctity of his home.

But today - as a thirty-year old man- I not only understood it.

I craved it.

The house looked the same, but this time, I saw it through different eyes. It appeared to have a fresh coat of paint, and Mom had planted a new flowerbed along the porch. It was far too majestic for this little town, but here – nestled in the forest – it looked like something out of a fairytale. I'd never really noticed that before, and I was amazed that I had missed something so obvious throughout my childhood years.

I turned off the engine and gazed longingly at the steps leading to the front door. It was ridiculous that I was this nervous about walking up a set of wooden steps that I'd walked a thousand times in my life.

_Perhaps you wouldn't be so nervous if you weren't such a stranger to your family._

It was true. I hadn't been home since Christmas 2005. I had been too busy chasing dreams…chasing women…chasing gigs….to find the time to come home and see my family. My brother Emmett was married with two kids, and my sister Alice was almost out of college. They were virtual strangers to me, and that was my fault.

My parents, of course, would welcome me home with open arms. They wouldn't judge and they wouldn't question. Mom would hug me and pull me into the kitchen to make my favorite dinner. She'd be surprised when I offered to help with the dishes. Later, when Dad retreated to the tranquility of his front porch, I would ask to join him. And he'd say yes, because he'd always asked his children to sit with him, and we'd always said no. We didn't need to "let the gentle roar of the rushing river ease our troubled minds."

That was _exactly_ what I needed. So, tonight, this child wouldn't say no.

I adjusted the rearview mirror to take a good look at my face. My eyes were a little brighter than normal…thanks in part to the fact that I no longer lived in smoky bars or stayed awake for days at a time. But regardless…I still look exhausted. It was the kind of exhausted that didn't come from a few bad nights of sleep. No….this exhaustion was bone deep…a product of a decade's worth of abuse that had finally caught up with me.

I climbed out of the car and opened the back door, dragging my worn suitcase and duffel bag out onto the driveway. I then popped the trunk and pulled out my guitar case. I was grateful the rental car's trunk had been spacious enough to protect my guitar. It was my most prized possession, and there was no way I could leave it exposed in the backseat when I'd been forced to stop for gas or food along the way.

Thieves could have my clothes, but my guitar was sacred.

With a tired sigh, I climbed the steps to the front door. It seemed polite to knock, so I did. The door flew open almost immediately, and the beautiful face of my mother was staring right back at me.

"Edward…." she whispered wistfully, and her voice was so soft and gentle that I felt a twinge deep in my heart. She pulled me into her embrace, and I rested my head on her shoulder. I nuzzled her hair, and I smiled as the familiar scent of her peppermint shampoo filled my senses and relaxed my frantic nerves.

"Your father and I are so glad you're home," Mom murmured gently.

"It's good to be home," I replied softly.

Once inside, I carefully dropped my bags and the guitar case, and she pulled me by hand into the kitchen. I could smell her meatloaf, and my stomach rumbled in anticipation.

How long had it been since I'd eaten a home-cooked meal?

"Dinner is almost ready," she smiled as she led me to the island. I climbed up on a stool as she walked over to the stove. "Your father is at the hospital delivering a baby. But he's so excited to see you, and he'll be home as soon as he can."

"Dad's delivering babies now?"

She giggled as she stirred something on the stove. "Not usually. But he's the ER doctor on call this weekend, so it's always an adventure."

We made small talk while she finished dinner, and I learned that Alice was graduating with honors from UW and that Em and Rose were expecting baby number three. I was ashamed that I hadn't met babies number one or two, but Mom assured me that we would rectify that situation tomorrow.

"Tomorrow is Family Day," she announced as she opened the fridge. "So don't be making any plans."

Whenever I'd found time to come home, I would always spend a majority of that time with my buddies down at the Rez or in some of the seedier bars on the outskirts of town. I assured her that this wouldn't be the case this time.

She wiped her hands on her apron and sat down on the stool next to me. "That's good. I've missed you, you know."

"I've missed you, too."

I could see it in her eyes. She was dying to know what had brought me home and how long I'd be staying this time. But she'd never ask. Mom was never one to pry. She trusted her children to make their own choices in life – a philosophy which her children had taken advantage of on more than one occasion. But unlike her other children, I'd never _stopped_ taking advantage of the privilege, and I knew that it'd caused both my mother and father many sleepless nights over the years.

I had just finished helping Mom set the table when we heard Dad walk into the dining room. He kissed Mom's cheek just before his eyes locked with mine, and I was stunned to see how much older he looked. Had he really aged that much in five years?

"It's good to see you, son." He pulled me into a hug and patted me on the shoulder. "You look….tired."

Dad was always brutally honest. Besides, it'd been five years. He couldn't very well – right off the bat – say that I looked like shit. Which I did. He'd tell me later.

"It's good to see you, too. And I am tired."

Dinner was delicious, of course. I listened with rapt attention as my parents brought me up to speed on everything that was going on with my siblings and in our little town. A new high school was finally being built. The town's librarian had passed away last week, and Mike Newton had just taken over ownership of his dad's diner. I learned that Leah, Seth's sister, was actually the name behind Clearwater Motors.

"And we have a new police chief in town. Been here about a year."

"Poor guy," I remarked between bites of meatloaf. "He has to be the most chronically bored man in the Pacific Northwest."

They laughed but didn't bother denying it.

"Chief Swan is a nice man," Dad said. "His daughter opened that new book store in town."

"I passed it on my way in," I replied as I passed the potatoes to my father. "The chief's daughter has good taste in music."

"She'll be happy to hear you say that," Dad grinned as he shoveled the mashed potatoes onto his plate. "She was positively appalled at the number of people in this town who didn't get the reference."

"Including me, but she did send me home with a classic rock CD so that I could "educate myself," Mom laughed softly. "She even quizzed me over the lyrics when I went back a week later…"

And then her eyes softened…all dreamy and angelic-like…

_I know that look._

"You know, Edward," Mom smiled hopefully, "….she's single…and so pretty…and she obviously likes music…"

_Yep, that's the look._

I glanced helplessly at my father.

"Esme," my father chuckled. "The boy just walked in the door, and you're already playing matchmaker?"

Mom actually blushed. "How terrible of me. Please forgive me, Edward." I waved my fork in her direction, assuring her all was forgiven. "But she _is_ a delightful girl and has one of the best bookstores in the county. People are actually driving from Port Angeles just to visit her store. It's been wonderful for the community."

"That's great," I replied. "I'd love to check it out. Maybe tomorrow…."

"Tomorrow is Family Day," Mom reminded me.

Dad laughed. "Esme, I'm sure we can find some time within the next twenty-four hours to stop by the bookstore. Or maybe Sunday, if that works within your schedule, Edward…."

_No schedule here._

"We have plenty of time," I mumbled as I stared down at my plate. I glanced up to find both parents staring a hole through me.

"We do?" Dad asked softly.

I nodded.

The smile that erupted on my mother's face was worth any amount of shame that I felt.

"That's good to hear," Dad commented, saying nothing more about the fact that I was obviously in no hurry to leave. "Well, dinner was delicious. I think I'll go enjoy a few minutes on the porch before I turn in for the night."

"I'd like to join you," I whispered, causing another sharp look of surprise from my parents. "After I help Mom with the dishes, that is."

Mom actually placed her hand over her heart as her fork fell onto her plate. "Alright, who are you and what have you done with my son?"

I grinned sheepishly as I rose from the table. I walked over to her chair and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"He's home, Mom. Your son is home."

* * *

The soft creaking of the rocking chairs was surprisingly soothing as Dad and I sat on the porch and looked across the fields surrounding the house. You could see a few rays of sun setting in the western sky.

"I didn't want to say this in front of your mother – but you look like shit, son."

_Always honest._

"I know I do."

Suddenly, something caught my eye across the grass.

"Is that a deer?" I asked, peering into the distance.

He didn't even raise his head from his newspaper. "Probably."

"Huh."

We rocked back and forth for a few more minutes before he folded the paper and placed it in his lap.

"Seeing a deer in your front yard isn't a rare occurrence here in Forks."

"I remember," I whispered softly. Truthfully, I'd seen everything from black bears to elk in the meadow behind our house.

Dad gazed out into the twilight. "It's good to remember where you're from. Your family. Your hometown. Your house. They remind you of what's important in life."

"And what's _not_ important," I whispered soberly.

"Sometimes," he agreed as he turned his head toward me. "Your music is important, Edward. Music is your gift and your talent. It's good that you are so passionate about it."

"But there should be more in my life than just guitar chords and lyrics," I lamented softly. "It's been ten years, Dad. I've played in every dive bar between here and Nashville."

"You've had some success," he pointed out.

"One album in ten years isn't considered a success by any means," I argued. "I had to beg to have it recorded, and I had to beg harder to have it released. And then I had to sell my soul just to get people to buy it."

I leaned my head back, allowing the shame and defeat to course through me.

Dad continued rocking back and forth for a few moments before whispering, "Not that we're complaining, but what brings you home, Edward?"

_Because I've lost my third record deal. Because I'm sick of chasing a dream that isn't meant to be. Because the money is running out._

These were not things I could admit to my father. Not yet.

"A man can't miss his family?" I hedged.

"Sure he can," Dad chuckled. "But do you honestly expect me to believe that you've come home after five years because you _missed _us?"

I sighed miserably.

"It's just time, Dad. Time to get a real job. Time to grow up."

Dad nodded in understanding. "You've been gone a long time. Are you sure you can readjust to small-town life?"

"I honestly don't know," I admitted. "I was actually thinking maybe Olympia or Seattle. I mean… are there _any_ jobs here?"

"We're just like the rest of the country," Dad sighed. "The economy has hit the logging industry pretty hard. Folks are moving away just to find minimum wage jobs. There's very little here."

"I do have a little savings," I replied softly.

_Little being the key word._

"That's good," Dad replied quietly. "So in the meantime…"

I took a deep breath. "In the meantime, I'd like to stay here for a while….if that's okay?"

"Of course," Dad said, and I could see his smile in the dimming light. "Get some rest. Refocus. Decide where to go from here…"

I nodded. Rest sounded so nice.

I wished Dad a good night as I made my way up the stairs and to the bedroom I'd shared with Emmett until I was twelve when I finally convinced my parents that a boy needed his privacy. I pushed open the door and wasn't surprised to see that it looked just the same as it did ten years ago. My journals – which were filled with lyrics and guitar tabs instead of your usual diary entries – still lined the shelves. I slowly walked over to the tall bookshelf and ran my finger along the spines and wiped the dust away. Some of my journals had made the trip to Nashville with me. These particular journals – filled with words of teen heartbreak and rebellion – were far too mundane and juvenile to actually put to music. But I kept them, because I learned long ago that some of the best songs could come from the most ordinary of memories.

I turned and noticed that my bags and guitar case were arranged carefully on the bed. I'd have to remember to thank Mom for that tomorrow. I sat down on the bed and turned on the lamp on the nightstand before glancing down at the tiny drawer on the front.

"I wonder…"

I pulled the drawer, and sure enough, my Bible was still nestled within the confines of the small drawer. Growing up, I'd struggled with religion. Not too surprising, considering mom was a devout Catholic and my father was agnostic. As a child, I always wondered which one of them was _right_, and until I was sure, I was hesitant to devote my life to any denomination. But it was my grandfather – who refused to label himself one particular denomination over another and preferred to just call himself a _Christian_ – took me to our family's meadow when I was fourteen. There, surrounded by the glistening sunlight that was streaming through the trees, he told me that God didn't care what we called ourselves just as long as we believed in Him.

So that's what I did. I believed.

And because I believed, my grandfather had given me his Bible.

I opened the book and found the bookmark perched among the pages of Psalms. Mom always said it was my favorite book of the Bible because the verses were songs.

She was probably right.

For fun – or maybe for a little guidance – I closed my eyes and drifted my finger along the page. I slowly opened my eyes and read aloud in a gentle whisper.

"_Psalm 42:8_

_By day the Lord directs his love,_

_At night his song is with me."_

With a sigh, I quietly closed the Bible and placed it back in the drawer. Then, I opened my guitar case and gently placed the instrument in my lap. I grabbed my pick and strummed softly, hoping that I wasn't disturbing my parents. I laughed to myself as I remembered all of those nights growing up when I'd strum just as softly and wish for the same thing.

I played a few chords….nothing really elaborate….just something to soothe away the day. I could hear the sound of the rain as it splattered on the roof, and the combination of strings and rain brought a calmness to my soul that I hadn't felt in so very long.

It was good to be home.

As I placed my guitar back in the case and got ready for bed, I found myself actually looking forward to tomorrow. I was going to surround myself with my family, my mom's cooking…

…and – just maybe – a few new books.

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**I'd love to know what you think so far. Thanks!**


	2. Brown Eyed Girl

**AN: The response for that first chapter has left me speechless. I have the best readers in the world.**

**Scrimmy – there's a little gift for you in this chapter. **

**Disclaimers: I don't own Disney. Or Twilight. Or any of the singers listed in this chapter. The chapter title comes from Van Morrison.**

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Chapter 2

_Brown-Eyed Girl_

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Unseasonably warm.

That's the term they use when – according to the calendar – it's _supposed_ to be cold outside, but the weather in Forks today was sunny and an unseasonably warm sixty degrees.

"Your mom demanded good weather for today," Dad chuckled as we carried the side dishes out onto the back deck and placed them carefully onto the long picnic table. "That woman always gets what she wants."

It was true. My mother almost always got whatever she wanted, and that was because my father made sure of it. Their marriage was like the eighth wonder of the world in the eyes of me and my siblings. My parents loved each other with a frightening intensity and eternal devotion that made all other love stories pale in comparison. The day one of them passed away would be the day that I'd bury both of my parents. There was no way either of them would live in a world where the other didn't exist.

"Alice is bringing a boy home," Dad murmured as he set the napkins on the table. "He's apparently a professor."

"I hope he isn't Alice's professor," I smirked as I adjusted the table cloth.

"Me too," Dad chuckled. "History, I think. She's quite excited to introduce him to the family."

It was still amazing to me that my little sister was old enough to be graduating from college and bringing home a man.

Alice was the baby in the family. I had been eight years old when she was born, and since a five year old Emmett had hated her on sight, she'd chosen me as her constant companion. This hadn't bothered me at all. Alice was fun – always smiling and completely hyperactive. She could talk nonstop about anything, and the more excited she became about a specific topic, the faster she talked. Alice had always kept her black hair cut in this spiky hairdo that made her look like a complete pixie. She was always too cute for her own good, and the boys flocked. I'd only beaten up a few of them through the years, and only when it was necessary.

She had a beautiful singing voice, and we'd spent hours sitting in our bedrooms. I'd play guitar while she sang, and it was during those duets that Alice and I had really recognized our dependence on each other. I wasn't happy if she wasn't happy – and vice versa. She could anticipate my moods and calm me whenever I lost my cool, and I'd kick any boy's ass who even considered breaking her heart.

Yin and Yang. That was us.

When she was twelve – and around the time Denali Records had expressed an interest in me – Alice began having vivid dreams. Dad had dismissed these dreams as a by-product of her creativity and energy. They weren't nightmares – just glimpses into the future that always seemed to materialize into reality. One dream involved a Labrador retriever running through our meadow. Two days later, a golden Lab appeared on our front porch. A few weeks later, Alice dreamt that Emmett would meet the girl of his dreams. Sure enough, a blonde, busty cheerleader named Rosalie Hale transferred to Forks High School almost a month later.

So the dreams were nothing scary or haunting – just crazy coincidences that couldn't be easily explained. Mom began to wonder if Alice's dreams weren't actually more like premonitions.

And then – the night before I signed my contract – Alice had woken the house with a blood-curling scream.

"You can't sign that contract," my sweet sister had begged me through her tears as she clung to me. "It won't be good for you….they will hurt you, Edward. They will take you away from us."

No amount of coaxing would calm her, and she refused to verbalize the contents of her dream. Carlisle dismissed the nightmare, saying Alice was just struggling with the fact that I was leaving home, and that her anticipatory anxiety was manifesting itself in her dreams.

The next day, I tried to ignore the red-rimmed eyes of my baby sister as I signed my life away.

In hind sight, I should have heeded her warning.

My little brother Emmett – little being a gross understatement – was a former Spartans linebacker who is now a firefighter for the city of Forks. He married Rosalie as soon as it was legal to do so. While Rosalie Hale had always seemed snobbish and cold to me, it was obvious that Em adored her, and the feeling was mutual. They had two twin girls whom I'd never met, but – thanks to the videos and pictures that Mom would email me from time to time – it was obvious that I had two beautiful nieces who were the heart and soul of our family.

I couldn't wait to meet them.

On cue, happy squeals erupted through the house as two very cute and very blonde little girls rushed out onto the deck, and I watched in quiet amusement as each girl wrapped herself around each of my father's legs.

"My girls," Dad grinned as he played with each of their ponytails. "Don't you both look adorable..."

The girls giggled and suddenly – with that twin intuition kicking in – each little girl turned her attention to me.

I cleared my throat nervously.

"Uncle E!" The girls sang in unison, and within seconds, I had a tiny four-year-old wrapped around each of my ankles. Surprised at their enthusiasm for a total stranger, I glanced anxiously toward my father.

"Say hello to your nieces, Uncle E…" my father grinned as he turned his attention toward the open French doors leading back into the kitchen. Standing there, Emmett was smirking at the scene before him.

"Well, well…Uncle E looks like shit."

The girls erupted into giggles.

I rolled my eyes at his greeting.

"Shouldn't you watch your mouth around my nieces?"

He grinned as he made his way toward the table of food. He looked behind his shoulder before grabbing a roll. "My girls know that Daddy has a potty mouth. They understand that grown-ups sometimes use grown-up words. They're cool."

I glanced down at my nieces, and I was surprised to see two beautiful smiles gazing up at me.

"Hey girls," I grinned down at them.

"I'm Claire," the child on my left leg announced proudly. I appreciated the introduction. They were identical twins, and I didn't have a clue which was which.

"And I'm Katie," the second twin replied.

"And you're going to play a song for us," Claire smiled brightly, and I knew I would, because they both had Alice's sweet smile and because they were cute as hell.

_When had I become such a sap?_

"Maybe Uncle E has forgotten how to play," Rosalie's voice drifted through the air as she made her way to the deck. "He's quite forgetful. Forgets his family. Forgets the way home…."

I narrowed my eyes.

"Nice to see you, too, Rose."

Rosalie snorted as she made her way to the table. Her protruding stomach made it difficult for her to sit behind the picnic table, but with one quick glance at my brother, he snapped to attention and repositioned the table to allow her room to breathe. She sat down with a huff and grabbed a handful of grapes.

"Where is my brother???" Alice's lilting voice rang through the air, and before I could blink, the four-year-olds attached to my knees were removed and replaced with the powerful yet loving embrace of my sister.

"I've missed you," she said with conviction. "And you're staying."

I chuckled.

"I am?"

She released me and searched my face. I gazed at her, and I was stunned to find that my baby sister had grown into a beautiful young woman.

"You are," Alice announced with finality. "I'm just not sure why…"

I didn't have the heart to tell her that I wasn't staying permanently. I wanted to see that smile on her face for the rest of my visit. Instead, I just hugged her and kissed her on the forehead.

"I missed you, Pixie. Now, where's this history professor?"

Suddenly, a glazed expression crossed her porcelain features as her eyes focused on something behind my shoulder. I turned to see a tall, lanky blonde gazing adoringly at my sister.

"I take it that's him?" I smirked knowingly. All she could do was nod as he made his way to her side. She immediately slipped her hand into his as he offered his free hand to me.

"This is Jasper," my sister whispered as she stared lovingly at the man by her side.

_Alice never whispers._

"It's nice to finally meet you, Edward."

"You too," I replied, fascinated by the calming influence this man obviously had on my sister. "You're a professor?"

"American history," Jasper confirmed. "I have a very unhealthy Civil War obsession, so teaching seemed like a good way to channel my passion."

I understood completely. I'd toyed with the idea of becoming a music teacher, but then Denali Records came calling…

"Dinner's ready!" Mom announced as she followed Dad onto the deck. He was carrying a gigantic platter of turkey, and he carefully placed it in the middle of the table. Everyone gathered around the picnic table, and I was surprised when Claire scampered to my side. Not to be outdone, Katie quickly followed, and I found myself sandwiched between my two nieces on the bench. I glanced up at my Mom who was watching us with a satisfied smile on her face.

"It's nice having everyone home," Dad announced as everyone settled down. He began to carve the turkey when Mom patted his hand.

"We should probably say a blessing, don't you think?"

Everyone cleared their throats nervously. Mom's blessings had a tendency to be long and sentimental.

But my father merely smiled.

"Of course, dear. Why don't you say it?"

We joined hands and everyone bowed their heads.

"We thank you for bringing our family together today," Mom whispered sincerely. "We are especially thankful to have the opportunity to meet Jasper, and we thank you for bringing him into Alice's life. Thank you for bringing Edward home. May he find the peace he needs in his life. Bless our granddaughters and our future grandchild, and help Emmett and Rosalie as they continue being such wonderful parents. Thank you for continuing to bless Carlisle and I with a happy marriage. Amen."

A chorus of _amens _flowed across the table.

"Now you can carve," Mom grinned. Dad kissed her hand before reaching for the carving knife.

Dinner was delicious, and I was surprised that the conversation flowed as easily as it did. Not that I contributed much to the adult conversation. Claire and Katie were constantly patting my cheek and grabbing my hand as they talked nonstop about preschool and princesses. I just ate my turkey and pretended to recognize the names of _Aurora, Ariel,_ and _Belle_.

"Aurora is _Sleeping Beauty_," Emmett explained later as we carried the dishes into the kitchen. "Ariel is _The Little Mermaid_….and Belle is from _Beauty and the Beast._ You know, the girl that always had her nose stuck in a book…"

I didn't know.

He scoffed. "Disney?"

I shrugged as I placed the plates in the dishwasher.

Emmett grunted in disbelief.

"Dude, don't you have a television out there on the road?"

I couldn't help but grin. My brother – the big tough firefighter – was an expert on Disney movie heroines.

For some reason, I was a little envious.

"If I do watch television, I don't typically watch the Disney channel," I smirked. "And I find it hilarious that you do."

Emmett shrugged helplessly. "I am surrounded by females. You become educated in a hurry." He placed the leftovers in the fridge. "Anyway, you need to brush up. Katie loves Ariel, and _Beauty and the Beast_ is Claire's absolute favorite movie in the world. I guarantee you will be required to watch both movies at least once while you're here."

Was it silly that I was actually kind of looking forward to that?

Alice and Jasper soon joined us in the kitchen, and Alice remarked that Jasper wanted to see the Sol Duc and the family meadow.

"Come with us?" Alice asked me softly as she touched my arm.

The meadow was the most beautiful spot in Forks, and when I was younger, I'd always sit on the grass and envision the girl that I'd bring to see it. The meadow was sacred. She'd have to be a special girl. Someone who could appreciate the simplistic beauty of the land. Someone that was important to me.

Needless to say, I'd never taken a girl to the meadow.

"_You_ should introduce him to the meadow," I replied with a smile. "Just you and him…"

"No," she whispered gently. "He's always interested in historical facts, and you know the history better than anyone. Besides, I've missed you….and….."

She bit her lip nervously.

_Alice? Nervous?_

"I really want you to get to know him, Edward. It's very important that you like him. Please?"

And then I understood. The calm demeanor. The whispers. The nervousness. The dazzled expression.

My sister was in love.

I sighed in resignation as I kissed her forehead. "Of course, Pixie. Anything for you."

And her squeal of delight ricocheted off the kitchen walls.

* * *

We walked along the path that ran adjacent to the river. Alice and Jasper were holding hands as they led the way down the shrouded green trail. To my astonishment, I had my own travelling companions, and I couldn't help but smile down at each of my nieces.

Claire held my left hand; Katie was holding my right.

As requested, I gave Jasper the abridged version of my knowledge regarding the river.

"The Sol Duc is about seventy-eight miles long," I commented as we made our way down the path. "It flows west through the northwestern part of the Olympic Peninsula. When it gets close to the Pacific, it joins the Bogachiel, which then forms the Quillayute River."

"I've heard of the Quiallyute," Jasper remarked brightly. "La Push?"

"Right," I nodded.

Jasper hummed appreciatively. "And Forks got its name because of the rivers?"

"Yes," I said as I maneuvered the girls over a log that had fallen along the trail. "Because of the joining of the Sol Duc, Bogachiel, and Calawah Rivers."

"That's always fascinates me – how places get their names," Jasper replied as he pulled Alice by the hand to a cleared area just off the trail. They gazed over the cliffs at the rushing water below us. I kept the girls far away from the edge and continued walking until we finally reached the meadow. I found my favorite spot, directly beneath a giant spruce, and sat down on the ground.

"Let's pick flowers," Katie suggested to her sister, and I watched contently as the little girls rushed around the lush field and plucked the wildflowers from the ground. They made colorful bouquets of purple and yellow flowers and took turns placing a flower behind each of their ears. Alice and Jasper arrived a short time later, and she joined the girls in the field while Jasper leisurely walked over to me and settled onto the ground.

"Let us pass over the river and rest under the shade of the trees," he said as he gazed out across the field. I cocked my head to the side and wondered if he'd let me use that in a song. When I asked for permission, he laughed.

"You'd have to credit Stonewall Jackson if you use it," Jasper drawled in what sounded suspiciously like a Georgia accent. "He spoke those words in 1863 - just before he died of pneumonia."

"Damn," I muttered. "Pretty words."

"You'll find your pretty words again," Jasper assured me. I must have looked surprised because he immediately apologized. "Sorry. Alice tells me that you're having trouble getting your music out there. I'm sure that's not good for the creativity."

"It's not," I agreed.

"That's why you came home," he remarked knowingly. "At least, that's what Alice says. You're here to find your creativity again. And maybe to find yourself. She seems to think you've lost a little of both."

I stared – transfixed – as my sister and our nieces danced around the meadow. It was such a beautiful image, and I found myself wishing I'd brought my guitar. Most people took pictures to remember little moments. But not me.

I put those moments to music.

"She worries about you," he continued softly as the girls' giggles echoed through the trees. "And she thinks you're home to stay."

"I can't stay," I replied as I played with a blade of grass. "I have to work, and there's nothing really keeping me here."

"Your family's here," Jasper reminded me. "But I understand about needing to work. I just think you should give it some thought. Give it some time. You never know…there may be something here that will make the decision really easy for you."

I nodded.

"I really love your sister," Jasper whispered a moment later.

"I can tell," I grinned. "She loves you, too."

"She does," he nodded in agreement. "It's very important to her that you approve of me. I have to admit – I was very nervous to meet you. Her father was a piece of cake. You, on the other hand…. she simply adores you, and if you didn't like me…"

"I like you," I assured him. I really did. He was smart and was obviously crazy about my sister. What more could a brother want?

I laughed as he exhaled a relieved gust of air.

* * *

After a marathon of _The Little Mermaid_ and _Beauty and the Beast_, I was ready to get out of the house for a while. I enjoyed the time with my family, but I was used to being alone. After six hours, I was teetering on sensory overload, and I made the excuse of needing new guitar strings in order to make my escape for a few hours. Mom had brightened and innocently mentioned that the new bookstore had some musical instruments. Perhaps they'd have guitar strings, too.

I pulled my car into the parking lot adjacent to the bookstore. Out of habit, I used the remote to lock the car, and the beeping sound caused a few bystanders to jump in surprise.

People in Forks rarely locked their car doors.

I waved and smiled sheepishly as I walked down the sidewalk. The bookstore's windows were lined with various books – some classic, some modern, and some regional. I glanced through the windows and was happy to see that it appeared to be empty. I pushed the door and was greeted with the sound of a tinkling bell.

"I'll be right with you," a voice called from the back of the store. I ignored it and took a moment to gaze at my surroundings. It was a small store with shelves upon shelves of books and CDs.

Mom was right. This girl was a music lover.

A few mandolins and guitars hung on the far wall, and beneath them, was a collection of sheet music. Alison Krauss's voice could be heard through the store's speakers. Out of sheer morbid curiosity, I gravitated toward the music collection, and I was surprised to find some lesser-known musicians within the racks.

_Grace Potter_. _Iron and Wine. Nickel Creek. Edward Cullen._

My hands froze on my CD cover.

And then my hands started to tremble.

The boy reflecting back at me from the case _looked_ like me, but he was younger. More self-assured. Many had called him _cocky_, and honestly, that was probably a more accurate description. He looked happy and ready to take on the world. I turned it over and looked at the track list. I'd written every song on the album. One had actually cracked the Top 10. But the others were just hidden gems of which I'd been proud but were never considered radio-friendly singles.

And because radio had basically ignored the album, it had drifted into obscurity.

Just like its singer.

"Sorry, I was in the back going through some new arrivals." The voice from earlier shook me from my memories. "Oh, that's a good CD. Would you like to preview some samples from it?"

My eyes widened in surprise.

_Did she say this was a good CD?_

I swiftly turned, and I found myself staring into the most beautiful set of brown eyes I'd ever seen. Her face was heart-shaped, and her chestnut hair was pulled into a ponytail.

I watched in fascination as those big brown eyes rose in surprise and recognition flickered across her face.

"Oh." And then she giggled, and I committed the sound to memory because it was the most incredible laugh. "I guess you don't need to hear samples of your own songs."

I smiled, and I heard her gasp softly. My eyes fell to her mouth, and I noticed she was biting her bottom lip.

Was I making her nervous? It had been years since anyone had been star-struck in my presence. About nine years, to be honest.

It was sort of nice.

"Thanks, but no, I don't need the samples," I smiled gently. "I could sign it for you, though."

Her doe eyes flickered to the CD in my hand. "Why would I want you to sign it?"

"You could sell it for more than…." I grimaced as I noticed it was in the clearance rack. "….five bucks. It's out of print now. It might be worth some money, especially with an autograph. And you could use the money…"

"And what makes you think I need the money?" Her brown eyes were flashing with anger, and her hands were on her hips. "My bookstore does just fine, thank you very much."

I raised my hands in defense. "I'm sure it does. I was just offering…."

"I don't need your charity, Edward Cullen. Especially for a CD that I can't even _give_ away….which is a shame, because it's a really good album, with a lot of heartfelt lyrics…"

"You think it's a good album?" I asked softly, and I couldn't keep from smiling. She was really pretty, especially when she was pissed.

"I do," she nodded. "But I certainly don't need you to do me any favors…"

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "You were just looking at me with those big brown eyes and looking all star-struck, and I thought you'd like…."

Her eyes danced with annoyance. Damn, those eyes were gorgeous. I could write a song about those eyes.

"Star-struck? Are you serious?"

I nervously ran my hair through my hair. "Well…"

"Let me tell you something, Edward Cullen," She snapped as she pointed her finger at my chest. "I don't need your charity, and I am _not_ star-struck. You were a good musician ten years ago. A decade ago! Do you still play? When is the last time you wrote a song?"

I actually wrote a song last month. But it was really shitty, and I wouldn't share it with a soul.

"I'm sorry," I repeated again. What had I said to piss her off this much?

"Apology accepted. Now if you'll excuse me, I have books to shelve."

I couldn't keep from smiling as she stalked back toward the stock room. I tried really hard not to notice the way her jeans swayed as she walked or the way her ponytail bounced against her shoulders.

With a sigh, I put the CD back in the clearance rack and walked toward the musical instruments. So that I wasn't a total liar, I grabbed a package of guitar strings before making my way toward the children's section. My eyes immediately fell upon a bright pink book that had the Disney logo embossed on the cover. Sure enough…Ariel, Belle, and some blonde I didn't know were gracing the cover.

Just to be safe, I bought two copies.

I perused the rest of the store, and I was impressed with the various genres and titles that she'd collected. I wasn't surprised that the bookstore was a popular place. I noticed a lot of obscure titles that would make any book collector salivate. I was flipping through a

biography of Johnny Cash when I noticed Brown Eyes across the aisle. She seemed to be busy rearranging a set of books, but she'd stop occasionally and flip through some of the pages. I'd watch as she'd get lost in the pages, and frequently, she'd laugh at something she read on the page.

It really was a beautiful sound.

After about an hour, I figured I'd spent enough time avoiding my family. I made my way to the register and noticed that Brown Eyes was eyeing me specutively.

"_The Disney Princess Collection_…" she murmured as she rang up the books and guitar strings.

"For my nieces," I explained. "Katie likes….that one…." I pointed helplessly. How was it possible that I'd already forgotten her name?

"Ariel," she smirked.

"That's right! Ariel. She's the mermaid, right?"

She nodded, and I noticed the hint of a smile on her face.

"And that one….the one who likes to read…."

"That's Belle."

"Belle..." I nodded.

And then Brown Eyes really smiled at me.

"I was named after her. Kind of."

I gasped.

"You're kidding! My niece would love that."

She placed the books and strings in a bag, and I handed her my credit card.

"So…." I ventured bravely. "Your name is Belle?"

"Bella," she corrected me with a shy grin. "Isabella, actually. It's a family name. Mom was a literature professor, and she thought if she named me after a Disney heroine who loved books then I'd have to be destined to follow in her footsteps."

"And did you?" I asked.

Bella shrugged and waved her hand around the bookstore. "In a way, I guess. I was reading by the time I was three, and I've loved books ever since. I always wanted to open a bookstore…or become a librarian…."

Impure images of a naughty librarian with glasses, long chestnut hair, and big brown eyes flooded my brain, and I had to grip the counter for support.

_Jesus._

"You have a great bookstore," I murmured shakily as I signed the receipt. She placed the receipt in my bag and offered it to me with a smile. She thanked me, and before I could completely embarrass myself in front of this girl, I offered her a wave and quickly strolled out the door.

It had finally turned chilly, and I stood in front of the bookstore and allowed the cool breeze to settle over my body. I closed my eyes as I felt the fresh air relax me.

I had no idea why I was so affected by this girl. She _was_ pretty. But damn, what a temper. I replayed the conversation over in my head and tried to figure out what I'd said to cause such a reaction from her. With a quiet sigh, I turned back toward the store and caught a glimpse of her through the window. She was flipping through one of the books on display in front of the register, and I knew that if I stood here just long enough, she'd find something in that book that would make her smile.

It didn't take long.

Later that night, I wrote a song about big brown eyes and chestnut hair.

* * *

**Let me know what you think! :)**


	3. The Girl Behind That Pretty Stare

**AN: Beyond overwhelmed at the response and your lovely reviews. Thank you!**

**Disclaimer: I mean no disrespect to Justin Bieber or Lady Gaga. I don't own Subway. Or Twilight. The chapter title comes from Rascal Flatts' "Take Me There."**

* * *

Chapter 3

_The Girl Behind That Pretty Stare_

* * *

The rest of the weekend passed in a blinding, family-crazed blur. Dad passed around old photo albums and took new pictures to fill them, and, in the afternoons, we enjoyed family sing-a-longs on the front porch. Songs I hadn't played in years flowed easily from my fingertips and along the guitar strings. To Emmett's delight, my mom cooked constantly. I spent hours getting reacquainted with my siblings and getting to know Jasper. I fell completely in love with my nieces while being subjected to one Disney movie right after the other. Rosalie continued to give me shit regarding my missing person status, and I tried really hard not to laugh whenever Mom's food didn't agree with her unborn baby. When the house was empty, I'd end the night with my father in the rocking chairs out on his porch.

It was easy. It was peaceful. It was heaven.

As always, Monday morning came too soon. But this time, I wasn't the one leaving. I held my sister's hand as we walked out onto the porch. Jasper was walking ahead of us, carrying her bags and giving us a moment to say goodbye.

"You're staying," she whispered gently.

"You keep saying that," I grinned at her. "But you know there's nothing here, Alice. I have to find a job."

"There's _something _here," she murmured as she gazed off into the empty fields. "I don't like it when you're so far away from me."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "I'm here now, and need I remind you that _you _arethe one leaving _me_ this time?"

She giggled as she struggled to make excuses. "But finals are coming up, and Jasper has lesson plans to submit…"

I chuckled and kissed her forehead. "I'm kidding, Pixie. You have a life, and you need to get back to it. It's good to see you so happy, and I'm proud of you. And Jasper….he's a good man."

Alice turned toward me and laced her fingers with mine. Her face was eager and excited. "Do you really like him, Edward?"

I smiled softly. "I really do."

Her smile was blinding as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I hugged her tightly before leading her to the car. Jasper was busy organizing the trunk with the various bags and suitcases. I smirked when I noticed the brightly-colored luggage. It had only been a weekend visit, but my sister had never understood the concept of "packing lightly."

Jasper grunted as he struggled to make the last of her luggage fit in the tightly-packed trunk. Finally satisfied, he turned to me and offered his hand.

"It was nice to finally meet you, Edward."

"You too, Jasper," I replied as I shook his hand. "Take care of my baby sister."

"I promise," he nodded solemnly, and I couldn't doubt the sincerity in his voice.

As they pulled out of the driveway, I turned to find two beautiful blondes running down the porch steps. I couldn't help but smile as I caught a glimpse of their happy faces, and I stopped in my tracks - bracing myself. If this weekend had taught me nothing else, I had learned to just stand still and wait for the ambush.

With ecstatic giggles, Katie and Claire attached themselves to each of my legs.

Standing at the top of the steps was their annoyed-looking mother. Actually, this wasn't uncommon. _Annoyed_ was Rosalie's usual facial expression. I'd never known her to look anything but aggravated. Or irritated. Or just plain pissed.

She watched with morbid fascination as her girls wrapped themselves around my ankles, and she loudly cleared her throat.

"Something I can do for you, Rose?"

She sighed resignedly. "So….I have a problem, and it seems you're in the perfect position to help me solve it."

"Is that right?"

I struggled to make my way to the steps. Not an easy feat when one had two boisterous children clinging to each leg.

"I have a doctor's appointment," Rosalie muttered as she stared at her girls. "And your brother had a fire call."

I failed to see my role in this.

"So…"

She sighed. "So, we usually take the girls to the doctor with us, but there's no way I can handle them all by myself. My blood pressure will be sky-high, and I just don't need the stress…."

I chuckled as I finally made my way to the porch. "Are you asking me to go to your doctor's appointment with you?"

Rose snorted. "Hell no."

_Thank God._

"I am asking you to babysit your nieces for a few hours while I go by myself. Carlisle is headed to the hospital, and Esme has an appointment of her own with the optometrist. The girls obviously like you…." I watched as her eyes narrowed, as if she couldn't imagine how this was possible…. "and you're like…the only one with no life and nothing to do. So what do you say?"

She really could be a bitch, even when she was trying to ask for a favor. I decided to make her sweat it as I gazed down at my smiling nieces.

"Can I pick the movie?" I asked with mock severity. They saw right through me, of course, and just giggled and nodded furiously.

"Can I take them out to lunch?" I asked Rosalie.

She seemed surprised by my offer. "Umm….yeah….that'd be really helpful, actually. But _not_ McDonald's and _not_ that greasy diner…something healthy."

"Something healthy. Got it."

Two booster seats and one hour later, I was driving through town, looking for something _healthy_. The two girls in the backseat were happily strapped in and looking out each of their windows.

"Healthy…." I mumbled as I made my way through town.

Claire giggled happily. "Daddy just takes us to McDonald's."

I caught Claire's twinkling eyes in the rearview mirror, and I chuckled.

"It's our secret with Daddy," Katie giggled.

I didn't want to mention that Mommy probably had an affinity for Daddy's balls, and I was certain that mine would not be offered the same consideration if I bought my nieces Happy Meals for lunch.

We came to a stop at the traffic light in front of Newton's Diner, and I was thankful that Rosalie had forbidden it. The place was swarming with people. Wearily, I glanced to my right, and I stopped breathing when I caught a glimpse of chestnut hair in the window of the Subway Restaurant.

Suddenly, a healthy lunch didn't seem so bad.

"Subway?" I asked the girls, but I didn't wait for a reply as I flashed my turn signal and pulled into the restaurant's parking lot. I released each girl from her booster seat and took one in each hand as we made our way through the door of the restaurant.

I felt Bella's brown eyes on me as I led both girls to the counter. I resisted the urge to look her way – and instead – stared at the menu above our heads. I had no idea what these girls liked to eat. What did they eat this weekend? We had turkey…and then turkey leftovers…

"Turkey?" I quirked an eyebrow at each of them, and they each dissolved into predictable giggles. I rolled my eyes as I heard another sweet laugh behind me. I couldn't resist glancing her way. She immediately flushed and became interested in the book she was reading. Her shoulders were still shaking with laughter.

I ordered two turkey kids' meals and a club sandwich for me. Certain that the hormonal pregnant mommy would prefer it, I asked for apples instead of chips in their meals, and we made our way to the drink fountain.

"Girls, go find us a table, and I'll be right there."

The restaurant was completely empty – except for Bella's table. A quick count confirmed that there were at least ten booths and tables available. And where did the girls choose to sit?

Right next to the window…in the booth right next to Bella.

Have I mentioned how much I love my nieces?

I brought the drinks and food over to the booth and carefully sat it down. I passed around the sandwiches and inserted the straws into everyone's drinks before finally gathering my courage and looking her way. I wasn't the only one. Claire was turned around – on her knees – peeking at Bella from over the top of the booth.

"Hey," I grinned.

"Hey," she smiled softly. "The nieces?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "This is Katie….." I pointed at the blonde at my side. "….and your stalker's name is Claire."

"You're pretty," Claire whispered.

I watched as Bella's face flushed. "Thanks. So are you."

"Me too!" Katie declared as she took a bite of her sandwich. I grabbed a napkin and wiped a little mayo off her face.

"You too," Bella grinned. "They're really cute, Edward."

"They are," I agreed. "Girls, this is Bella."

She smiled shyly at us before focusing on her book and resuming her lunch. I took a deep breath and helped the girls open their apple packets. Claire finally turned around, and the girls talked nonstop about everything from their cats to their upcoming birthday party, and I tried really hard to contribute to the conversation and appear interested in everything they were saying. But all I could really concentrate on was the way Bella's mahogany hair cascaded around her face as she read her book. Or the twinkle in her brown eyes each time she looked at one of the girls. Or the way her laugh was like music to my ears.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

"I need to go," Claire suddenly whispered.

"Go?"

"To the bathroom."

"Oh," I muttered. I took a quick glance around the restaurant and noticed the restroom signs.

"Okay," I shrugged and pointed. "They're down that hallway. Just umm…make sure to wash your hands afterwards."

I resumed my eating as Claire stared at me with her father's big blue eyes.

I swallowed quickly.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't think she wants to go alone," Bella murmured as she passed by our booth to take her tray to the trash. She emptied the contents and placed the empty tray on top.

_Shit._

She must have recognized the apprehension on my face because she rolled her eyes and then offered me a smile.

"I could take her," Bella said. "If that's okay with her…"

"It's okay with me!" Claire announced as she jumped out of the booth and grabbed Bella's hand. I watched in fascination as Katie's bladder apparently kicked in, too, and both girls led Bella down the hallway toward the restrooms.

While they were gone, I finished my lunch and stealthily snuck a glance at Bella's book. _Pride and Prejudice_. I'd been forced to read it in Mr. Berty's English class during my senior year, and I remembered hating it.

Of course, she'd love it.

I was emptying our trays just as the three girls made their way back toward the tables. They were talking animatedly about the differences between Aurora and Cinderella, and I was grateful that I'd somehow avoided those two movies.

"Thank you for taking them," I smiled as I grabbed the girls' jackets.

"You're welcome. They're really sweet girls. Here, let me help…."

Bella took one of the jackets out of my hands and offered it to either girl. They were both pink, so I had no idea whose was whose, but Claire quickly made her way to Bella's side and pushed her arms through the coat. I kneeled down so that Katie could slip her arms through her own jacket, and I placed her hood over her head.

As I stood, I looked down at my watch. I had over two hours before Rosalie was due back at the house. How was I going to keep these girls occupied for two more hours…..without subjecting myself to more Disney torture?

"I was thinking," Bella murmured gently as she grabbed her book from the table and buttoned her own jacket. "If you have some time to kill, maybe you and the girls would like to come over to the bookstore? I have some beanbags in the children's section, and they could color….or you could even read to them if you wanted…."

Bella Swan was beautiful, good with kids, _and_ a mind reader.

"….Or, you could let them listen to samples of their uncle's first album…."

I teasingly glared at her, and then my breath hitched as she winked at me with those big brown eyes.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

* * *

As soon as we reached the bookstore, I was rendered useless. Claire and Katie were perfectly content to sit alone in the overstuffed beanbags as they read every princess book in Bella's collection. They didn't need me to read to them. They were doing just fine on their own.

"Since when do four years old….."

"Read on their own? Yeah….kids read a lot earlier now," Bella remarked as she shelved a book in the adjoining aisle. "After school hours, my children's section is the busiest place in my store."

"School?" Rosalie didn't say anything about school.

_Do four year olds even go to school?_

"I would guess your nieces are in Preschool, but there's no school today. The teachers had a meeting."

She was reading my mind again.

It was really very sexy.

And scary.

"Here, let me help you with that box," I offered as she struggled to open a massive cardboard box. I tore off the packaging tape and folded back the flaps.

"Thanks," Bella smiled softly. I watched as she flipped through the titles and began arranging them into specific genres. Suddenly, a young brunette appeared at her side. She was smacking her gum.

"Sorry, I'm late," the girl giggled as she blew a bubble. Bella rolled her eyes and continued organizing the books. "Tyler called from Fort McChord, and he's coming home on leave! Can you believe it? So yeah….I'll need the weekend off, if that's okay…."

The girl reminded me of Alice – talking nonstop and full of energy. Although Alice was never this annoying. This girl was probably seventeen or eighteen. She was cute….annoying with the gum….but cute.

I watched with fascination as Bella pulled a hair tie out of her pocket and expertly arranged her hair in a ponytail. My eyes ghosted along the curve of her neck, and I felt this irrational urge to touch the exposed skin.

I shook my head to erase that image from my mind as Bella settled onto the floor, busily rearranging books on the bottom shelf. "That's fine, Jessica. Can you take that stack of books to the biographies section?"

Jessica ignored Bella's request, and I watched her eyes widen as she turned her attention to me. I shuffled my feet awkwardly as the girl's eyes shifted from my head to my toes.

Noticing Jessica's hesitation, Bella loudly cleared her throat.

"Jess?"

"In a minute…." Jessica mumbled – her eyes never leaving my face. "Hi, I'm Jessica. Who are you?"

"I'm Edward," I replied. She twirled a lock of hair around her finger, and I couldn't help but chuckle. Was this child seriously trying to flirt with me?

"Jess…the biographies…." Bella's voice was stern.

Jessica finally snapped to attention. "The biographies….right…."

I laughed sheepishly as Jessica carried her pile of books to the far side of the store.

"I would say she was _star-struck_, but she doesn't have a clue who you are," Bella smirked as she shelved some graphic novels. "Her musical tastes consist of Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga."

I shuddered as I kneeled to the floor.

"That reminds me…" I murmured as I lifted more books out of the box, "…..I wanted to apologize for that comment. I'm really not _that _cocky."

_Not anymore, at least._

Bella sighed as she tossed a damaged book back into the box. "I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have snapped at you like I did. I just get defensive when people assume my shop needs help. The rumors are rampant, and I just don't need the bad press."

"What rumors?" I asked, puzzled. I'd only heard good things about the store.

"You haven't heard?" Bella glanced at me skeptically.

"I've only been in town three days," I reminded her.

She laughed as she shelved the last of the books. "I know. But this is a small town. Gossip travels fast."

I knew all about gossip. Gossip had played a huge role in derailing my career.

I glanced down at the empty box. "Are we finished?"

"Yeah. That's the last of the new stuff."

I rose to my feet and glanced back at my nieces. Both had fallen asleep in the beanbags with a princess book cradled against their chests.

"Come take a break. I'd love to hear about your shop," I murmured softly as I offered my hand. Bella looked up at me with those gorgeous brown eyes, and I felt my legs tremble under their intensity. She looked from me….to my hand….and back to me before finally nodding her head.

"Okay," she whispered, and warmth flooded my body as her hand slipped into mine. I pulled her to her feet.

"What about the girls?" Bella asked softly.

"Asleep," I grinned as I pointed to the beanbags.

Bella looked back at the girls, and she giggled. "That happens a lot."

"We can't go far," I whispered softly.

"We don't have to," Bella assured me. She pulled me by the hand and led me to a section of the store that I hadn't noticed during my first visit.

"Don't tell me you're trying to bring an Internet Café to Forks," I grinned as she pulled me toward the loveseat.

"It's in the beginning stages, but yeah…" she smiled as she grabbed two bottles of water from the cooler. "I hope to offer Wi-Fi…if that's even possible in this town….and just give folks a chance to sit and relax."

"And maybe buy some books," I grinned, and she nodded excitedly.

"That'd be nice."

She joined me on the loveseat and took a long drink of water. I watched her profile as her eyes travelled around the store.

"I have big dreams," Bella muttered uncertainly, her eyes glancing around the makeshift café. "Maybe _too_ big…."

"I think it's a great idea," I murmured gently as I opened my bottle.

"Starting your own business is a lot harder than I expected," Bella remarked as she settled back against the cushion. "It's amazing that it's survived a year because I was totally clueless when I started out. But I'm lucky. I have faithful customers – like your mom – who come in once a week just to check out the new arrivals. They rarely just browse. They always pick-up _something_, whether it's just a newspaper or a bookmark."

"That's nice," I replied.

"It is," Bella nodded. "And people are driving from Port Angeles just to visit my store. I googled the city. They have like seven bookstores…."

I'd been to a few of the bookstores in Port Angeles. A few were even franchised.

"They say my store is more welcoming and personal," Bella whispered wistfully. "Which is exactly what I wanted. A little quaint bookstore that offered a bit of everything."

"You've succeeded," I replied softly. "It's a beautiful store."

"Thanks."

We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes while an instrumental folk song played through the speakers. The sound of the mandolin was soothing, and I leaned my head back against the cushion – mirroring her image. Our heads were close, and I could smell her strawberry shampoo. I closed my eyes and allowed her fragrance and the soft strains of the mandolin to relax me.

"So what's with the gossip?" I whispered softly.

I felt Bella turn her head toward me. Slowly, I opened my eyes and turned my face toward hers. I was startled by the regretful expression on her face. She looked so sad, and a tiny crease had formed between her brows. I found myself wishing I could rub my finger along the wrinkle to soothe her worry. We were so close that I could feel her breath on my face, and my eyes unconsciously darted to her lips. She gasped softly, and I watched with fascination as she timidly bit her bottom lip.

"It's a really long story," Bella whispered.

"That's okay," I murmured. And it really was. I would happily sit on this couch for the rest of my life if it meant that I could be _this_ close to her.

_It's official. I am losing my mind._

"Uncle E!!!!" A duo of shrill voices interrupted my moment of insanity. Bella and I jumped away from each other just as the girls made their way toward the loveseat. Katie leapt into my lap while Claire climbed on the arm of the chair and began playing with Bella's ponytail.

"Raincheck," Bella smiled at me. "I should probably check on Jess. She doesn't do well without constant adult supervision."

I nodded as I took the girls by the hand and led them back to the children's books with every intention of helping them clean up the mess they'd made. I was amazed to see that they'd placed the books right back on the shelves where they belonged. Impressed, I told the girls to choose their own book to take home, and they squealed with delight as each of them made their selection.

"You're such sweet girls," I grinned as we made our way to the register. "You have rotten timing, but you're sweet…"

As an enthusiastic Jessica rang up our books, I scanned the store for one last glimpse of Bella. She was in the far corner – standing on a small ladder – shelving more books, and I desperately tried to ignore the way her body arched as she reached above her head. As I gazed in her direction, I tried to make sense of my attraction to her.

She _was_ pretty. She didn't wear make-up and her hair was almost always in that ponytail. It seemed that her attire consisted of jeans, t-shirts, and Chucks. But she was pretty. And smart. And determined. And hot-tempered.

She was sweet and probably far too innocent for her own good.

I didn't know Bella that well, but I found that I _wanted_ to know her. I wanted to know what caused that worried crease between her eyebrows. I wanted to know about her family. I wanted to know her favorite books and her favorite songs.

This was new territory for me.

In all honesty, Bella wasn't my type at all. But then I remembered my _type_, and I shuddered at the memories. A decade's worth of women who were loud and brash and completely fake in both appearance and emotion.

There was Lauren – a brunette from Topeka, Kansas – who had shared my bed until I lost my second record deal. Then she skipped town with my bass player and what was left of my savings account.

After her came a girl named Chelsea. She had been a runway model from Los Angeles. Everything on her had been fake, down to blonde highlights in her hair and the veneers on her teeth. We shared a studio apartment until her heroin addiction sent her to rehab.

And then, of course, there had been Tanya Denali - the record executive's daughter with long strawberry hair and creamy skin who had introduced me to life in the fast lane…a world filled with sex, cocaine, alcohol, and more money than I'd ever seen in my life. Trying to escape her influence led to the end of my recording deal with Denali Records and – ultimately – was the beginning of the end to my career.

There had been countless others, of course. One night stands filled with sex and empty promises that were forgotten as soon as the sun rose the next morning. Women who had used me for money or for comfort. Women _I_ had used to escape my loneliness.

I gazed at the brown-eyed beauty and considered the possibility that maybe….just maybe….I needed a new type.

But who was I kidding? I had absolutely nothing to offer someone like Bella. She needed someone who was grounded. Someone who was attuned to small-town life. Someone who didn't come with years of lingering baggage and broken dreams.

Jessica handed me the receipt, and I signed it contritely. The truth was that Bella wasn't too innocent for her own good.

Bella was too innocent for _me_.

She chose that moment to turn my way, and she was so pretty that it literally took my breath away. I offered her a sad smile, and I could see the questioning look in her eyes as she waved goodbye to us.

I grabbed the girls by the hand as I led them toward the car. My mind was jumbled with conflicting emotions and shameful memories as I strapped them into their booster seats. We'd been driving a while before Claire's sweet voice brought me back down to earth.

"I like Bella," she said.

I sighed thoughtfully as I turned down our driveway.

"I like Bella, too…" I murmured softly.

* * *

**As always, I love to hear what you think. :)**


	4. When Nature Plays Its Lovely Hand

**AN: Thank you so much for your sweet reviews.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns it. Chapter title comes from "Wildflower" by Sheryl Crow. And I love Honda Civics and Volvos.**

* * *

Chapter 4

_When Nature Plays Its Lovely Hand_

* * *

I spent the next two weeks in limbo, floating aimlessly without any sense of purpose or direction. It wasn't a bad thing, really. It was actually pretty nice. I spent hours on the front porch with my guitar in my hand – looking out across the fields – playing various chord progressions and strumming nonsensical tunes. I wasn't necessarily trying to write a song. I just felt more comfortable with my guitar in my lap. It had been my constant companion throughout the last decade…my best friend who required nothing from me except a guitar case and the occasional change of strings.

If only all friendships could be so easy.

I had made many friends throughout the last decade. Friends who had coerced me into signing record deals containing so much fine print that they owned my soul as soon as I'd signed the dotted line. Friends who had introduced me to a cocaine habit that nearly put me in the grave. Friends who had kept my rock glass filled with whiskey or my mug filled with beer. Friends who had stolen my money. Friends who had conveniently disappeared as soon as I tried to clean up my act and seriously focus on my career.

These were the friends I'd surrounded myself with for far too long. These were the friends I'd chosen over my family.

"You can wallow in the past," my father had told me the night before. I hadn't told him everything, but I'd told him enough. "Or you can focus on your future. You cannot change what's transpired. Call them life lessons. Call them whatever you want. But those mistakes do not define you. You define you. Who do you want to be, Edward?"

_Who do I want to be?_

I had no idea.

My music was important to me. Growing up, I saw my father's passion for medicine, and I'd wished that I'd loved anything as much as my father loved helping people. And then my grandfather gave me this guitar and taught me a few simple chords.

And on that day, I'd found my passion.

My fingers had bled until they finally turned callused, but I sat in my bedroom and practiced those three chords until I could play an entire song. I started playing guitar with my friends on Friday nights down at LaPush. As I got older, I began sneaking into bars at the county line and begging the owners to let me play for free, just to get some experience on a live stage. I played my original songs, and I took requests. I'd sing anything as long as I could play it. My voice wasn't my strength, but my guitar playing more than made up for my lack of vocal training.

_Who do I want to be?_

I wanted music in my life. I _needed_ music like I needed oxygen. I wanted to be settled. I wanted a house in the country. I wanted peace and tranquility.

I wanted to be an honest man. A good man. A man my family could be proud of.

I hadn't been those things in so long.

But I could start today.

I rose from the rocking chair and made my way to the kitchen. Lying on the table were the _Seattle Times_, and – because it was Thursday – the _Forks Forum_. I briefly scanned the cover of our weekly paper before turning to the classified ads.

Garage sales. Cars for sale. Land for sale…

_Land for sale._

_8.0 ACRES CLEARED. Septic System has been installed. Ready for you to build. Call for more info._

Excitedly, I found a pen and paper in Esme's kitchen drawer and hurriedly scribbled down the address of the property and the contact information. My eyes ghosted along the rest of the page, but there were no help wanted advertisements.

I wasn't surprised. There were no job opportunities in Forks.

With a sigh, I fumbled through the Seattle Times and finally found the classifieds section. A brief glance of their listings confirmed my fears that no one was hiring uneducated musicians. Most of the ads were for professionals – bankers, computer system administrators, nurses….nothing that fit me and certainly nothing at the entry level.

I tossed the papers aside and decided to drive into town in hopes of finding a car. The rental went back last week, and Emmett had offered to let me use his Jeep until I could buy my own vehicle. I hated to deplete my savings account for a car – especially since finding a job was going to be more difficult than I'd anticipated – but transportation was a necessity.

I pulled into Clearwater Motors – the only car dealership in town – and was immediately accosted by a man wearing a tweed blazer. His smile was painted-on in hopes of snagging his first customer of the day.

"Welcome to Clearwater Motors," he smiled as he offered his hand. I climbed out of the Jeep and shook it. "I'm James."

"I'm Edward," I replied. I pulled my hand away and resisted the urge to wipe it on the back of my pants. If you were to look up "used car salesman" in the dictionary, this man's face would be pictured there.

"What are you interested in?" James asked as he steered me through the lot. "New, pre-owned…"

I found it funny that "pre-owned" was the new politically correct term for "used."

"Pre-owned," I nodded. "Something reliable."

"That won't be a problem. We only sell reliable, pre-owned automobiles," James smiled broadly.

_Sure you do._

I told James about my limited price range and lack of employment, and he quickly steered me away from the shinier cars and toward a side parking lot full of older models. There were very few cars for under $10,000 on the lot, but there were a few….and I was peeking in the windows of a 2003 Honda Civic when I heard my name being yelled from across the showroom door.

"Edward Cullen!!" The voice shrilled, and I turned swiftly to see a woman walking my way. She looked vaguely familiar…dark features…long black hair. She was wearing dark sunglasses and dressed in a skirt, white blouse, and killer heels.

Once upon a time, this outfit would have excited me.

James shot me a look. "Edward _Cullen_? As in Carlisle Cullen?"

You could see the dollar signs flashing in his eyes as he re-calculated his commission. I'm sure he was wondering why the son of a prominent doctor was looking for a pre-owned car for less than ten grand.

"My God, you look fantastic. Tired…but fantastic. Are you home for long? What are you doing here? We should totally get together and catch up…"

I desperately tried to place this woman. She obviously knew _me_.

"I'm sorry," I finally admitted. "But who…."

"Don't tell me you don't recognize me…" The woman smirked, and then she removed her sunglasses, and a multitude of memories flooded me.

_Leah Clearwater. Prom night. Backseat of Carlisle's car._

"Leah," I grinned sheepishly. "I didn't recognize you with your sunglasses. You look incredible."

Leah grinned as she placed her sunglasses on top of her head. "I know."

I couldn't help but chuckle. Leah had always had a healthy self-esteem.

"I'm home for now," I answered in reply to her questions. "And I'm here looking for a car…"

Leah smiled fondly at me before shooting a cold glance at James. "Why are you showing him this piece of shit? You know it won't make it to Port Angeles and back." She then turned her attention to me. "Hondas are great little cars, but the last owner drove this one into the ground. You don't want this car."

"Mr. Cullen has limited funds and is currently unemployed," James explained.

"I'm sure Mr. Cullen is seeking employment?" Leah glanced my way, and I vigorously nodded. "And I'm sure Mr. Cullen needs a reliable car in order to help him seek employment. I'll take it from here, James."

The phony smile fell from his face as he slinked back toward the double doors of the showroom.

Leah linked her arm through mine. "That's not the car for you. Come this way…"

She led me to a collection of newer and shinier cars with enormous amounts on the stickers.

"Leah," I murmured. "These are all very nice, but James wasn't lying. I have very little savings and no job…no bank will loan me the money for one of these cars without a steady job or a co-signer, and there's no way I'm asking my father…"

She smiled softly as she pointed to a silver Volvo. The sticker price was more than double what I had planned to spend.

"I can't afford it, Leah."

"Sure you can. Make me an offer."

"On this?" My eyes grew wide as I examined the car. It was in pristine condition. I shot her a nervous glance before peeking inside the windows. The interior was black and the music system included a six CD changer.

Leah softly whispered the car's features. "20,000 miles. Leather. Satellite radio. One owner."

"It's beautiful," I murmured reverently. "But honestly, Leah, it's too much…"

"Will you take care of it?" Leah asked softly.

"Of course," I assured her. "But that doesn't change the fact that it's out of my price range."

Leah sighed as she ran her hands along the car. "This was my mother's car. Do you remember my mom?"

"Yes," I replied. "Sue was a wonderful woman."

"She was," Leah smiled softly. "She died six months ago. She'd been battling cancer for two years, so really, it was a blessing. Dad asked me to put the car on our lot…he cried every single time he saw it parked in the garage. He said the memories were just too much…"

Leah sniffled and promptly lowered her sunglasses over her face.

"I've had many offers, but this was my mom's car…and I need to trust the new owner. You understand that, don't you?"

"Of course I do," I replied sincerely.

"Good," she grinned, suddenly all business once again. "So make me an offer, Edward. Name your price."

"You don't even know me…at least, not the man I am now," I offered meekly. "How do you know you can trust me with something so important?"

"I don't need to know you now. I remember the boy from high school," Leah said. "I remember a boy who played his guitar and sang with his sister. I remember a boy who took me to the prom. I remember that the corsage he gave me had a tiny yellow daisy embedded into the lace because he'd taken the time to ask me about my favorite flower. I remember a boy that was such a gentleman that _I_ had to coax _him_ into the backseat of his daddy's car."

I chuckled lightly and ran my hands nervously through my hair. "Yeah, that was fun."

Leah grinned. "It was. And I remember a boy who was good to the core."

I sighed softly. "I'm not good anymore, Leah."

"I don't believe that, but I can see that you do." Leah whispered as she searched my face. "You've come home, which means you're refocusing on important things. Like family…." Her voice trailed off as she gazed at the Volvo once again. "There's nothing like family."

"I would be honored to drive this car," I announced gently. "But you'll be taking such a loss on it, Leah. I can only pay ten thousand…."

She brightened as she smelled a deal in the making. "Is that the entire contents of your savings account?"

I grimaced wearily. "Nearly…"

"Then I'll take five thousand," she whispered gently.

I scoffed. "Leah, you can't be serious…"

"You'd be doing me a favor, Edward. We'd be two friends helping each other. I need to sell this car. You need to buy one. Do we have a deal?"

With a heavy sigh, I smiled into the face of my childhood friend.

"Yes, we have a deal. Thank you."

Leah's face erupted into a triumphant smile as she pulled me into a hug.

* * *

After placing the temporary tag in my back window and hugging Leah one last time, I climbed into my beautiful Volvo and made my way through town. It drove like a dream, and it had obviously been well taken care of. I flipped through the satellite radio stations and settled on a 70s station as I relaxed against the leather seats.

Around noon, I stopped for lunch at Subway. But it just wasn't the same without my little nieces. Or Bella's laugh. So I placed my order to go.

It'd been two weeks since I'd last seen her. The first week was all part of my plan. I decided the best thing I could do was avoid her like the plague. I found her far too interesting, and for her sake – and maybe for mine – I decided that I needed to forget the bookstore and its beautiful owner.

But I was a sad and pathetic man, and by the second week, I had caved. I found myself wandering around the sidewalk in front of the store, just hoping for a glimpse of her ponytail. But each time, I'd been spotted by a bubble-blowing Jessica waving erratically at me from behind the register.

It was pretty pathetic.

And it was probably for the best.

It was an overcast day – the forecast was promising rain for later this afternoon – but I just couldn't sit inside all day. So I grabbed my lunch and my guitar and I headed to the meadow. The walk to my family's field was always relaxing, and I hadn't seen the meadow since the day of the family reunion. It would good to get away from civilization and just spend a day with my guitar out in the open air.

As I approached the clearing, I heard a noise coming from behind the trees. It shuffled, and I instantly tensed. I walked closer, straining my eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever it was.

I could handle a deer.

A bear was another story entirely.

As I made my way closer, the noise turned into a soft hum, and I took comfort in the fact that wild animals rarely hummed before attacking their prey. I continued slowly along the path, and when I finally stumbled into the clearing, I could make out the faint outline of a shape…a person…sitting under my favorite spruce tree.

Someone was trespassing.

In _my_ meadow. Under _my_ tree.

I inched closer until I could get a good look at the person, and when I did, my breath hitched.

"Bella?" I whispered, not wanting to frighten her. She made no reply as I inched closer. I murmured her name a few more times until I noticed the ear buds hanging from her ears. She was humming softly as she flipped through the pages of her book.

I was completely mesmerized. She was just sitting there, with her long chestnut hair falling in waves around her shoulders, and all I could do was stand back and watch. She was engrossed in her book, and it gave me ample opportunity to just stare. She was the only person, other than my family, that I'd ever seen in our meadow. We didn't share it with many. It was sacred and untouched. But there she sat, and she looked completely at home under the shade of that large spruce.

She was so pretty.

I stepped closer, and suddenly, her eyes darted up from her book. She gasped softly as her gaze locked with mine.

_So pretty._

Quickly, she jerked the ear buds out of her ears and closed her book.

"Hi."

"Hey," I smiled as I made my way to her. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"It's okay," Bella said as she laid her book to the side. "I probably scared you, too. Your mom says that the meadow is private."

"It is," I agreed softly as I motioned toward the ground. "May I?"

"Oh…yeah, of course…" Bella smiled as she made room for me on her blanket. I carefully placed my guitar and lunch on the ground.

"I hope you don't mind that I'm here," she continued softly. "Long ago, Esme told me about the meadow and said that I could use it anytime I needed to….to get away from things."

"I don't mind," I admitted. Honestly, I was thrilled that she was here. "What kinds of things?"

Bella shrugged. "The store. My life. Nosy people. It gets suffocating living in a small town."

"I remember," I laughed softly.

"So I come here to hide, I guess…."

"Nothing wrong with hiding," I murmured gently as I gazed out across the field. "This is a good place for it."

"I've stolen your hiding place," Bella smiled, and I noticed how her eyes glittered in the sunlight. "I'm sure you came here for some solitude. I really should go…" She began to struggle to her feet, and I reached for her hand.

"Don't," I whispered. Her fingers were warm and soft as I laced them with mine. Her eyes fell to our joined hands, and I quickly pulled my hand away. "Honestly. It's a big meadow. I can share."

She settled back onto the blanket. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure," I promised. "I was just going to eat my lunch and play my guitar." I grabbed my Subway bag. "It's turkey and swiss. Do you want half?"

Bella smiled softly. "I'd love half. Thanks."

"I don't have another drink," I apologized.

"It's okay. I have my water bottle."

So we sat there in silence, looking out across the meadow and sharing a sub sandwich. After a few minutes, I started asking questions about her childhood just so that I could hear her voice. I learned that her parents had divorced when she was twelve, and her mom – needing a fresh start and new surroundings – had packed them up and moved them to Florida. Bella split her time between her father in Seattle and her mother and new stepdad in Gainesville. She'd majored in English with a concentration in Children's Literature at the University of Florida, and I wasn't at all surprised to learn that she'd graduated with honors. Mom was a lit professor at the school, which is where she met Phil Dwyer, an assistant coach with the Gators. Bella's father, Charlie, had been a policeman in Seattle – a job he held until he retired just a few years ago.

"What brought you both to Forks?" I asked as I finished up my sandwich.

Bella's face grew wistful. "Mom passed away last summer."

"Oh, Bella…I'm so sorry…."

She smiled sadly. "Thanks. She had cancer….esophageal….it was all very quick. She was diagnosed in April, and by August, I was burying my mother."

A tear trickled down her face, and I lifted my hand to wipe it away. Before I could, she took her napkin and gently patted her cheek.

"So….I had planned to stay in school and get my Masters degree, but after mom passed away, I just needed something different. Everything on campus reminded me of her, and it was just too much. Phil's great, but he was dealing with his own grief, and I was just in the way. But I needed to be with family, so I moved back to Seattle to live with my father. He was ready to retire and wanted to leave the city. He had some friends in Forks, so here we are."

"Do you like it here?" I asked. "You've lived in some big cities. I think Forks would be a little hard to get used to."

"It was at first," Bella grinned. "Driving an hour just to find something to do was a foreign concept to me. And the weather sucks. I was used to some rain in Seattle, but it rains ninety percent of the time here. But then I decided to open my bookstore, and it became popular really quickly, so that took care of any boredom I had. And then Dad got tired of retirement and decided to run for Sheriff."

Bella looked across the meadow. "It took some time, but I think we've both found our home." Her voice was gentle and soft, and I ached to find that kind of fulfillment.

"I'm glad you have," I murmured softly. She turned her face toward me and offered me a soft smile.

"So much for solitude," Bella giggled. "I haven't given you a moment of peace."

"I really don't mind. I find you fascinating," I admitted honestly.

Her doe eyes grew wide. "Me? Why?"

I had absolutely no idea how to answer that question. Why _did _I find her so interesting? I just shrugged helplessly, and she laughed.

"I find you fascinating, too," Bella admitted softly. "And it has nothing to do with being star-struck."

I winced as I opened my guitar case. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"Nope," she giggled.

I rolled my eyes and grinned before putting my capo on the neck and grabbing a guitar pick. I settled the guitar in my lap and strummed softly. She leaned her head back against the tree and closed her eyes. My fingers formed chords, and my hand strummed, but it was completely involuntary. All I could concentrate on was her heart-shaped face and her mahogany hair blowing softly in the breeze.

"Bella, you shouldn't find me fascinating," I whispered softly over the strings.

She opened her chocolate eyes and gazed at me. "Why?"

"Because I'm…."

_Nothing. I'm nothing._

"I'm not a good person, Bella."

She sighed softly and pulled her knees close to her chest. She leaned her head against her kneecaps and watched my fingers drift over the strings.

"I don't believe that," she whispered softly.

"That's because you don't know me."

"I _want_ to know you," Bella whispered softly. "Tell me something about you. And I don't want to know the Edward Cullen that has been gone for a decade. I want to know the Edward Cullen that has come home."

"He's the same man," I murmured gently as I stared across the field. She had poured her heart out to me, and I was incapable of reciprocating. I just couldn't – not when I could so easily predict the outcome.

She'd run away.

"I don't believe that, either…." Bella replied softly. Then, she grabbed her book and turned to her bookmarked page. "But it's okay, Edward. You don't have to tell me anything. But you could play for me."

Relief flooded me. I stopped strumming and finally allowed myself a peek at her lovely face. "What do you want me to play?"

"It doesn't matter," Bella smiled. "You play, and I'll read. And we'll just…._be_."

And for the rest of the afternoon, that's exactly what we did. We sat together on her blanket, and I played my guitar as she read her book. I'd sneak a glance at her ever so often, and sometimes, I'd catch her looking at me, too. I'd smile…and she'd smile in return…and then I'd clear my throat and she'd blush…and then we'd both pretend it never happened as we resumed our individual activities.

It was innocent and sweet, and it was the most incredible afternoon of my life.

After a few hours, the skies began to darken – a sure sign of rain – and I felt a strange sense of disappointment that we'd have to be leaving soon. We'd done absolutely nothing, but it was the very best day of _nothing_, and I never wanted it to end.

Bella closed her book and glanced up at the sky. She looked disappointed, too, and that made me feel happier than it probably should have.

"I'm taking tomorrow afternoon off," Bella said as she rose to her feet. "Jess has been asking for more responsibility at the store, so I've been working a little less."

That would explain why I hadn't seen her during my stalking sessions outside of her bookstore window.

I removed the capo from my guitar and carefully placed it back in its case as an idea began to form in my head.

"Maybe tomorrow afternoon…" I offered casually as I rose to my feet, "…..we could do lunch again?"

I was proud of myself. That sounded totally nonchalant, when it was anything but.

"My treat," Bella smiled up at me, and I nodded eagerly.

"Bring your book," I reminded her.

"Bring your guitar," she grinned.

Unable to tear ourselves away, we stood there – gazing at each other like two smiling fools – until we felt the first cold drop of rain.

* * *

**Special thanks to my husband who was checking out pre-owned Volvo prices for me. :)**

**I will be a contributing author for FicsForNashville to help with the flood relief efforts in Nashville, Tennessee. I live in Tennessee, so this is near and dear to my heart. This is a combined effort of fanfic authors to offer outtakes or one-shots in exchange for your $5 or more donation to the charity of your choice. More information can be found on my profile or by messaging me. **

**As always, I love to hear your thoughts. :)**


	5. Falling Slowly

**AN: Let's meet Bella, shall we? :) **

**Lots of love to ****ms snarkerella for offering to beta this story.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I heard this song on American Idol, and I wanted to use it for this story. It was sung by the two finalists – Lee Dewyze and Crystal Bowersox. I've added a YouTube link at the bottom because you really need to hear this song.**

* * *

Chapter 5

_Falling Slowly_

* * *

BPOV

"Stupid, stupid, stupid."

I tapped the delete key, thankful I'd caught my mistake before submitting the book order to the vendor. No bookstore needed twenty copies of _Diary of a Wimpy Kid_, no matter how popular the book might be with the pre-teen customers.

I'd made silly mistakes all week. I'd ordered too much tea for the café. I'd let my subscription to the _Seattle Times_ lapse. I'd forgotten to pay the phone bill. I'd even forgotten to take my cat to the vet.

Edward Cullen was making me stupid.

And sleep deprived.

It wasn't his fault. I just didn't have a clue what I was thinking…or feeling…or what I was going to do when these feelings of intense fascination, powerful attraction…and yes, complete stupidity…completely blew up in my face.

It was going to happen. He'd certainly warned me.

"_Bella, you shouldn't find me fascinating."_

I knew – deep down in my soul – that I should listen to his words. Edward was a musician, and I knew enough about musicians to realize that they never stayed in one place too long. He had come home to clear his head…to find his voice again…to refocus and renew his passion for his musical career.

At least, that's what his mother kept telling me.

Esme and I had grown close over the past year. She was my most loyal customer, and sometimes, she'd drop by the store just to chat. I'd pour coffee or tea and we'd huddle in my makeshift Internet café and talk about books or music or family. Since losing Renee, I'd craved a mother's heart, and Esme certainly had one. She was sweet and reassuring and never asked too many questions. Her visits had become more infrequent lately, and I knew that was because Edward was home. But when she did visit, she'd always mention him, and I'd pretend to be very uninterested when I was anything but.

What really drove me crazy was that I couldn't explain why.

I'd never been one of _those_ girls. I'd never been doe-eyed over some stupid boy in high school. I'd never written love poems or scribbled a guy's name surrounded by hearts all over my notebook. Even in college, I'd dated just enough to get Renee off my back, but I'd never felt _anything _for _any_ of them…

Why was I choosing now to become such a girl?

The last week had been unnerving. Wonderful, but unnerving. We'd continued our little dance in the meadow. I'd bring lunch one day. He'd bring lunch the next. Because we both needed our security blankets, I'd always bring a book, and he'd always bring his guitar. He'd play, and I'd read, and we'd talk about absolutely _nothing_ all afternoon. I would give a little glimpse into my past, and I'd watch the turmoil in his eyes as he struggled with wanting to tell me _something_…but he'd always chicken out. But I really didn't mind. As much as I wanted to know him, I also wanted him to feel comfortable in telling me.

So I never asked. I could be patient.

Even if it drove me crazy….because it just might.

Jessica had been begging for more responsibility at the store, so I was giving it to her. It _would_ be nice to have someone trained so that I could actually take a day off – or even a vacation. But truthfully? I was totally taking advantage of the time away from the store just so that I could delve a little deeper in the heartbreaking yet fascinating enigma that was Edward Cullen.

I could lie to myself and say that I wanted to get to know the man behind the heartfelt lyrics on that debut CD that resides in my clearance rack. And there would be some truth to that. Edward was a very talented songwriter and musician. There was no logical reason – at least, from a fan's perspective – that his career had taken such a nosedive into complete obscurity. The talent was there. He was devastatingly handsome in that _Rebel-Without-A-Cause_ sort of way. He was the complete package. So, I knew there was a story there – and while I wanted to hear it – I had a feeling that it was dark and depressing, and I wasn't really sure I was ready for it.

Perhaps Edward knew this, and it was for that reason that we focused on safer topics. Family. Books. Music. Jobs.

He'd had zero luck in finding even a part-time job – which really wasn't surprising considering the economy. Of course, he could move to Seattle…or Tacoma…or Olympia…there were probably plenty of jobs to be found in the larger cities.

And it was for that very reason that I had to get control of my emotions.

Eventually, Edward would leave. He'd have no choice. We all have to work. He would find his voice again…or he'd find some unfulfilling job…but, in time, something would take him away. He'd leave Forks and never look back.

I'd only known him for a few weeks, but the thoughts of him leaving filled me with dread, and I knew it was irrational. We were just friends.

_Right?_

Even in my sleep-deprived stupor, I knew I was lying to myself.

I'd probably slept three hours each night during the past few weeks, and that was because I either couldn't sleep because of my racing thoughts that were centered _around_ him….or, when I did sleep, I'd _dream_ of him.

The dreams were _very_ nice.

Nice and vivid and graphic.

And each time, I woke up…wide-eyed, heart racing, completely breathless…

And alone.

These dreams were _more _than friendly, and they just served as further proof that I was completely losing my mind. I should not be having those kinds of dreams about a man who had barely brushed his hand against mine. I had no idea what his lips felt like….or the way his breath would feel against my neck…or the way his hands would feel as they drifted down…

The sound of the door chime startled me from my fantasy, and I jumped off my stool, spilling hot coffee down my shirt.

"Shit!" I grabbed a napkin and attempted to dry my shirt. I hadn't even realized I was holding a hot mug of coffee, which was only further proof that the man was making me insane.

"Bella!" Jessica screeched from the doorway. "I'm engaged!"

I ignored my shirt – because I couldn't ignore how the overhead lights were reflecting off the gigantic rock on Jessica's left hand.

"Wow, Jess…that's really…."

"Engaged!" She squealed excitedly as she rushed to the counter. "Can you believe it?" She thrust her hand in my face. The ring was massive, and I wondered how an E1 in the Air Force could afford such an expensive piece of jewelry. But I was happy for her. Tyler Crowley was a good guy, and he treated Jess like a queen.

"It's beautiful, Jess. Congratulations."

Her eyes drifted along the ring for a few moments more before her expression turned wistful. "I have bad news, though."

I stiffened. "Bad news?"

"Yeah," Jessica frowned at me. "Tyler is being transferred to another base in Texas, and we're hoping to get on-base housing….or off-base if we have to…and he's moving next month…and I'm so sorry, Bella…"

I smiled softly as she continued her explanations and apologies. I promised her it was all fine, and that I was happy for her. She gushed about the dress she wanted and the color of the bridesmaids dresses, and I couldn't help but smile. She was irritating and flaky, but she was a sweet girl, and I knew I'd miss her. Before she left, we hugged goodbye and she promised to send me an invitation when the date was set.

Fifteen minutes later, I hung a help wanted sign in the store window.

It was nearly lunch time – as I was making corrections to my book order – when I realized that Jessica's abrupt departure was going to interfere with my afternoons with Edward. We hadn't seen each other in two days, but we'd already made plans to have lunch tomorrow.

It really upset me that I was going to have to say no.

I quickly sent Edward a text to alert him of the change of plans, but I didn't expect a response. He was spending the day down at LaPush catching up with some old friends, and I knew that cell signal was nonexistent on the beach.

The rest of the afternoon dragged as I finished placing my order. A few tourists stopped by to pick up a few postcards and a map of the Olympic Forest, but business was really slow, so I didn't feel guilty about placing the closed sign in the window just a few minutes early.

I grabbed a fresh cup of tea and made my way to my office. This month's financial statements were waiting for me, and I prayed they looked better than the previous month's. I placed my iPod in the dock and found my "relaxing" playlist – full of soft instrumentals that always soothed my nerves. I turned on my laptop and pulled up the financial statements for the past month.

A brief glance confirmed that things were not good.

I had been spoiled during the first six months of running my own business. The bookstore had opened with enough fanfare to make the front page of the _Peninsula Daily News_ out of Port Angeles. Tourists and a group of loyal locals had turned my little bookstore into a thriving business.

But then, like everywhere else in America, the economy turned to shit. The unemployment rate in Forks skyrocketed to ten percent, and my sweet, loyal customers had to prioritize. Naturally, feeding their families and paying their mortgages far outranked purchasing a book at my store. Sales plummeted, and I'd spent the second half of the year struggling to remain in the black. I'd offered as many discounts as possible. I'd held contests and book-signings to drum up excitement. I'd even had a karaoke night, and I really, really hate karaoke.

The Internet Café was my most exciting endeavor, and I hoped to have it up and running within a few weeks. But I honestly didn't know if it'd be enough to bring my sales out of their slump. I felt a little guilty – knowing my customers didn't have the money to waste on the frivolous things the café would offer – but this bookstore was my life, and I had to do what I could to help it survive.

An hour later, I was still going through the financials when I heard the chime on the door.

"Crap," I muttered to myself as I pushed the chair away from the desk and stretched my legs. I'd put the closed sign in the window, but I'd obviously forgotten to lock the door. I quickly saved my work on the spreadsheet before heading out of the office. I'd just turned the corner when I saw a flash of copper hair standing in front of the register. I stopped abruptly as my heart began to race, and I felt the sensation of butterflies fluttering in my stomach…

I have become _such_ a girl.

"Hey," I managed to say as I made my way to the counter.

"Hey," Edward grinned that crooked smile at me. That smile that melted my heart. That smile that haunted my very nice and very vivid dreams.

"I thought you were spending the day at LaPush?" I said as I climbed onto the stool.

"I did," Edward explained with a grin before pointing outside. The street lights illuminated the sidewalk. "It's night now."

I flushed. "So it is. I'd been doing some paperwork in the back. I guess I forgot to lock the door when I closed up."

"I noticed," Edward frowned. "That's really not safe – you being here by yourself at night. Especially with an unlocked door."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Why? Because Forks is such a hotbed of criminal activity?"

Edward grinned as he leaned against the table. I noticed he was holding something behind his back.

"You never know," Edward shrugged, but then his face turned serious as he gazed into my eyes. "But really, you should be more careful. Lock your door when you're here alone at night, okay?"

I couldn't help but grin. "You forget that I'm the sheriff's daughter. No one messes with me."

"They'd better not," Edward murmured so softly that I almost didn't catch it. But I did. And those butterflies in my stomach intensified because a protective Edward was very, very sexy.

Not that I needed protected, of course. But it was still sexy.

His fingers traveled through his hair. "So, no lunch tomorrow?"

"No," I shook my head sadly. "Jessica quit."

"Oh," Edward frowned. "That's too bad. But I guess that explains the sign."

"Sign?"

Edward pulled the help wanted sign from behind his back and placed it on the counter.

"Oh, that sign," I mumbled, feeling like a complete moron. "Yeah, I need to hire someone part-time."

Edward nodded his head as he turned toward the shelves. I watched as he slowly walked toward the biographies section and trailed his finger along the spine of one of the books.

"Did you know that Johnny Cash proposed to June Carter while they were singing a duet on stage in Canada?"

_Wow. Definitely a change in topic._

"No, I didn't know that," I replied honestly.

Edward merely nodded as he made his way to the science fiction and fantasy section of the store.

"Did you know that Hermione and Ron finally hook up in the end?" He remarked as he flipped through one of the _Harry Potter_ books.

This made me giggle. "Yes, I know that. How the hell do _you_ know that?"

Edward shrugged as he made his way to the local reference section. He began spouting off names and dates and historical facts about our town and the surrounding areas of the Olympic Peninsula. But it was when he finally made his way to the music section that I finally realized what he was doing.

Edward needed a job.

I needed an employee.

_So tempting. _

_So frightening._

"Edward," I hedged nervously. "It's just part-time..."

"I know," he nodded as he excitedly made his way back to the counter.

"And I could only pay you minimum wage. That's all I paid Jess."

"That's fine."

I swallowed nervously. He looked so hopeful. He'd been looking for a job – any job – for weeks. And I really did need the help.

"Okay," I whispered. "You're hired."

And before I could even blink, Edward pulled me into a massive hug. He wrapped his arms around me, and I instantly melted against him. I closed my eyes as I held onto his waist. Hesitantly, I laid my head against his chest, and his arms tightened around me as he rested his chin against the top of my head. His embrace was so warm and soft, and I heard him sigh softly as his nose nuzzled my hair.

"Thank you," Edward murmured softly against my ear.

"You're welcome," I whispered.

Reluctantly, I stepped out of his arms. I chanced a glance at him, and I immediately wished I hadn't. He was staring down at me with those blazing green eyes. But they were dark and tortured, and I knew it was because he regretted touching me.

Feeling rejected, I dropped my head.

"I'm sorry about that," I murmured, keeping my eyes on my shoes.

I felt his hand against the bottom of my chin, and I sighed as he tilted my head, forcing me to stare into those beautiful eyes.

"I hugged _you_," Edward whispered sadly. "I should be the one apologizing."

"It's okay," I mumbled as I made my way back to the register. I needed some distance. I was embarrassed that I'd enjoyed that embrace so much…especially when the tortured expression on his face assured me that he hadn't at all.

"You can start tomorrow," I offered softly. "We open at ten."

"I'll be here," Edward nodded. He shuffled his feet for a few more minutes as I pretended to do something behind the register. After a few minutes, he finally cleared his throat.

If this was awkward, how the hell was I going to work with this man everyday?

"I guess I'll head home," Edward murmured. "Please lock the door when I leave?"

"I will," I promised. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Our eyes locked, and I could see his internal battle. He wanted to say something. He _always_ wanted to say something.

But just like always, he remained speechless.

"Thanks again, Bella. I promise you won't regret this."

I followed him as he walked out the door. The chime did nothing to soothe my nerves. With a weary sigh, I gently turned the lock.

"I'm afraid I already do," I whispered.

* * *

EPOV

My mother was ecstatic that I had a job at the bookstore. She wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tightly…and I know it was supposed to be supportive and motherly, but all it did was depress me further.

Bella was a really good hugger.

Since when was "really good hugger" even in my vocabulary?

She'd fit so perfectly in my arms. My chin rested on her head as if she was molded to me….just for me. And it was sweet and innocent and warm. Her hair was that same scent of strawberry that drove me crazy, and I hadn't been able to resist inhaling the fragrance and letting it imbed itself into my memory.

I'd been disappointed when she pulled away, but then I realized it was the smartest thing she could have done. I hadn't wanted to let her go. She'd felt so good pressed against me...

But Bella was now my boss, and we had to keep things professional.

I could do that. I _would_ do that.

I went to bed that night feeling confident in my mantra. But in the middle of the night – after waking from an erotic dream filled with chestnut hair and strawberries – I realized that my mantra was complete bullshit, and I was royally screwed.

Outwardly, I could fight it all I wanted, but I had to admit to myself that I was attracted to Bella. And this attraction was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. I'd had plenty of girlfriends through the years. But I'd never dreamed about any of them. I'd never wanted to hold them. Hug them.

And I'd never wanted to kiss any of them as much as I'd wanted to kiss Bella tonight.

The impulse had been so strong. And it would have been so easy. She was looking up at me with those big brown eyes, and all I'd wanted to do was pull her back into my arms and mold my mouth to hers.

I was thankful when she'd pulled away.

I was miserable when she'd pulled away.

The conflicting emotions were driving me insane.

I climbed out of bed and grabbed my guitar out of its case. I nestled the guitar into my lap as I sat cross-legged on my bed, and I softly strummed the strings as the lyrics fell without warning from my lips.

_I don't know you_

_But I want you_

_All the more for that_

_Falling slowly_

_Eyes that know me_

_And I can't go back._

* * *

"**Falling Slowly" on YouTube**

**www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=5OVggKYdPos**

**Now that I have completed my other story, I will be updating this story once or twice each week. Hope that makes you happy. :)**

**As always, I love to hear your thoughts.**


	6. All We Need is Just a Little Patience

**AN: I'm trying so hard to have these two characters take their time falling for each other, but my sweet readers are begging for kisses and hot lemons against the bookshelves! It's only chapter six! :)**

**However, I am saving that lemon against the bookshelf idea for future reference. *wink***

**Just a note – this story is rated M. My characters tend to say bad words. If this offends you, rated M stories are probably not for you. Oh, and I'm not a Jacob fan. My readers know this. :)**

**Chapter title comes from Guns N' Roses.**

* * *

Chapter 6

_All We Need is Just a Little Patience_

* * *

EPOV

After a particularly shitty night of sleep – in which my dreams consisted of making love to Bella on every flat surface of the bookstore – I awoke completely sexually frustrated as the smell of pancakes and bacon wafted up the stairs from the kitchen. While Mom's breakfast always excited me, it was the knowledge that I'd be at the bookstore in less than two hours that led me to be showered, dressed, and sitting at the breakfast bar within minutes.

"You're up early," Mom grinned knowingly as she tossed a few slices of bacon onto my plate. "Excited for your first day?"

She turned back toward the stove, and I rolled my eyes as I poured a healthy pool of syrup onto my pancakes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me," Mom warned sweetly, and I grumbled as I stuffed my face.

_Obviously, my mother still had eyes in the back of her head._

"Where's Dad?" I asked in between bites.

"He had an early appointment," Mom replied as she brought her coffee to the stool. I noticed she didn't make herself a plate.

"Aren't you eating?"

"I ate with your father," She smiled serenely. They had eaten breakfast together every morning since the day they were married. Carlisle had always said that if he'd known how well-fed he would be, he would have married her much sooner.

I tried to ignore the wistful stares she shot at me while I finished my breakfast, and as I finished the last gulp of juice, I finally turned my attention toward her.

"Something you want to say, Mom?"

Esme sighed softly. "Yes, there's actually a lot I need to say."

I checked my watch. "Well, I have a few minutes, why don't you get it off your chest?"

She smiled as she attempted to tame my unruly hair with her fingertips. "Never could do anything with this head of hair…"

"Mom," I grumbled as I tapped my watch. "Tick-tock…."

"Okay, okay," Esme grinned as she picked up my dishes and climbed down from the stool. "I just want you to know that I'm proud of you."

_Huh. That wasn't what I was expecting at all._

"Proud?"

"Yes," she smiled as she filled the dishwasher. "Jobs are so hard to find these days – especially in Forks – and I'm proud of you for trying so hard. And I'm thankful to Bella for giving you a chance."

I shrugged. "Jessica quit. She needed the help. I was just lucky."

"Yes," Mom smiled softly. "But she didn't have to hire you, so I'm grateful." Her expression turned serious as her eyes locked with mine. "She's a sweet girl, Edward."

"I know she is," I countered as I eagerly glanced at my watch once more.

"Do you really?" Mom asked gently as she searched my face. "Edward, she isn't like…other girls…"

My mother didn't finish her thought, but I could certainly fill in the blanks. Bella isn't like _those_ girls. Those girls from my past. Those girls who were usually promiscuous and dirty and easily forgotten. Of course I knew that Bella wasn't like those girls. Bella was sweet and beautiful and probably far too innocent for her own good.

What I didn't understand is why my mother was so protective of a virtual stranger.

"Mom, are you and Bella close?"

Mom smiled softly, "Yes, we're close."

This surprised me. Neither Bella nor my mother had given me any indication that they were friends.

"How close?" And for some reason, a rush of irrational jealousy flared within me.

"Close enough that I'm asking you to be gentle with her," Mom replied quietly.

My head snapped in my mother's direction. Her eyes locked with mine, and a silent conversation passed between us. And that's when I understood.

_Mom knows how I feel about Bella._

Which was surprising, because I had absolutely no idea how I felt.

Through the years, Mom's uncanny ability to see straight into my soul had always made me a little nervous. How could she possibly love me if she could see my every mistake? How could she continue caring if she saw the bitter, empty person I'd become?

"And I pray that she's gentle with you," Mom whispered gently as her lips brushed against my cheek. "Go on now. I don't want you to be late on your first day."

With a heavy sigh, I kissed her cheek before grabbing my jacket and heading out the door.

* * *

The chime on the front door welcomed me as I made my way into the bookstore. It was about ten minutes before opening, so I was surprised to find the door already unlocked. Bella wasn't anywhere in sight, so I assumed she was back in her office. I struggled out of my jacket and hung it on the coat rack behind the register before making my way around the corner, where I assumed her office to be.

Her office was surrounded by glass, and I stopped abruptly when I noticed that Bella had company. She was sitting at her desk, and her visitor's back was to me. With his dark hair, he seemed vaguely familiar. Their conversation didn't look to be a happy one, and I was strangely relieved that this obviously wasn't a friendly visit. I stood back, listening as their voices grew louder and Bella's face became redder, and I was just about to intervene when Bella's voice resonated through the glass.

"Jacob Black, get the fuck out of my bookstore!"

My eyes narrowed, and I clenched my fists at my side. In high school, Jacob Black was the biggest jerk to ever walk the halls of Forks High School. He was arrogant, cocky, and had more money than anyone his age had any right to see. His mother had passed away when we were kids, and she'd left him a hefty inheritance with no age stipulation. So – in high school – while the rest of us were working nights and weekends to pay for car insurance, Jacob Black was driving around town in fully restored classic Mustangs. He thought he was God's gift to women, and he'd treated every girl he'd dated like they were material possessions.

I watched as he tossed a tiny piece of paper onto her desk, and I couldn't help but grin as Bella unceremoniously ripped it to shreds in front of his face.

"You'll call," I heard Jacob say as he opened the door.

"Like hell I will!" Bella snapped, "Now get out!"

Jacob was grinning as he rounded the corner, but stopped short when he saw that I was blocking his path. His eyes met mine, and his gleeful expression turned into a frown.

"Well, well…." Jacob sneered, and I had to resist the urge to punch his smug face. "Edward Cullen. What the hell are you doing back in town?"

"None of your damn business. What are you doing here?"

"None of your damn business," Jacob replied with a smirk that was so condescending, I literally had to plunge my hands in the pockets of my jeans to keep from breaking his jaw. I glanced behind his shoulder and noticed that Bella was slumped in her desk chair, holding her head in her hands. She looked so upset, so broken-hearted, and it was for that reason that I stepped aside and let the asshole pass without another word. I waited until I heard the chime of the door before making my way into her office. I didn't even bother knocking as I pushed the door open and made my way to her side of the desk.

"Bella?" I whispered softly. She was rocking back and forth in her chair, and her eyes were filled with tears. I turned her chair in my direction as I kneeled onto the floor. "Bella, what did he do?"

Bella sniffled quietly as her doe eyes rose to meet mine. She seemed surprised to see me. "Edward?"

"Hey," I murmured as I raised my hand. Very softly, I stroked her tear-stained face with my fingertips. She sighed softly, and the sound was so plaintive that I couldn't resist stroking the other cheek, as well. Her tears slowed as I continued with my gentle caresses. Bella stared at me, and I stared right back – completely losing myself in the melancholy eyes of this beautiful girl.

She had the prettiest eyes, and they should never, ever be melancholy.

"What did he do, Bella?" I asked softly as I continued stroking her face.

She opened her mouth to speak just as the chime of the front door resonated in our ears. Bella nervously bit her bottom lip.

"Don't," I whispered softly. I was afraid she was going to hurt herself, so I gently ran my finger across her bottom lip, setting it free from her teeth's grasp.

"There's a customer," Bella whispered faintly as her eyes darted through the glass.

"I know. Let me take care of them."

"But you don't know how to run the register…"

I smiled. "I'll figure it out. Stay here. I'll be right back."

Bella nodded and I stroked her face one last time before rising to my feet. I quickly made my way back to the front of the store where I found a man and a young child looking through the postcards. She was a cute little girl – probably close to Claire and Katie's ages. Naturally, she wanted to look through each and every postcard.

"Are you looking for something specific?" I offered as assistance. Not that I could really help, I had no idea what kinds of postcards Bella had in the store.

The old man chuckled. "My granddaughter never looks for anything specific. She has to look at all of them before choosing one."

I smiled in understanding. "Well, I'll let you look. Let me know if you need anything."

One hundred postcards and twenty minutes later, Bella appeared from the office. She looked a little better, her eyes were dry and she was forcing a smile. She should never have to force a smile – and once again – I wanted to punch Jacob Black in the face.

"Hi Bella," the little girl grinned as she saw Bella make her way toward the display.

"Hey, Makenna." Bella tousled the little girl's hair before greeting the grandfather. They were obviously frequent customers, and I watched as the little girl gazed up at Bella with adoring eyes. After a few minutes, the grandfather took a seat close by as Bella joined Makenna on the floor.

I didn't really know what to do, but I figured I should probably offer the man something to drink. He accepted my offer of coffee, and as I made my way back to the café I remembered that I didn't actually know how to make coffee. I knew that it involved water, and probably one of these packets of coffee grounds, but other than that, I was at a complete loss.

Bella must have anticipated this, because it was just a few minutes later that she thankfully appeared at my side next to the sink. She smiled at me – an honest smile – as she pulled the empty coffee pot out of my grasp and filled it with water. I stilled when she softly brushed up against me in the little workspace behind the counter, and I tried to control my breathing as I recalled my dream from last night. Bella had climbed onto this very same counter, and I had climbed on top of _her_…

"Edward?" Bella whispered as she eyed my hand as it gripped the marble countertop. "We only have the one counter. Please don't break it."

Nervously, I cleared my throat, "Sorry."

Bella gave me a worried look. "Coffee should be ready in a few minutes. Let me show you how to run the register out front."

"Okay," I murmured as I followed her down the steps of the café. Suddenly, she turned around, and I had to stop quickly to keep myself from crashing into her.

"Thank you," Bella whispered softly. "For earlier…"

Because I was unable to keep my hands off her, I gently stroked her cheek. She leaned into my touch, and the feel of her skin against mine was almost more than I could handle.

In an attempt to gain some control, I swiftly lowered my hand.

"Are you going to tell me what that was all about?"

"No," she murmured gently. "It's my problem, and I'll handle it."

And with that, she turned and walked toward the register. I followed behind her, and I noticed that the man and his granddaughter had finally made their selections and were waiting for us.

"That's a great postcard," Bella smiled at the little girl as she instructed me how to ring up the items. I was grateful that Bella had a scanner for check-out, so it was relatively easy. I took the man's money and gave him his change as Bella carefully placed the postcard in a small bag.

"Well, there's your first customer, aren't you proud?" Bella grinned at me after they'd left the store. I rolled my eyes in response, and she giggled lightly.

"Let me show you the stockroom," Bella offered quietly as I followed her to the back of the store. "We get a new shipment each Monday. New releases need to be on the shelves by Tuesday morning. We restock through the week as needed."

The stockroom was small and cramped, and I wondered how she could possibly find anything. But, naturally, Bella had a system. New arrivals were near the front, and older releases were arranged by genre along the stockroom's walls. She steered me toward a box of maps and asked me to carry them out front. She seemed to be in a hurry to get out of the stockroom, and I wondered if it was because she was afraid to be in such an enclosed space with a man. And then, I wondered if she was just afraid to be in such an enclosed space with _me_.

_Surely she trusted me. Didn't she?_

I spent the next hour rearranging the maps that were already in the display. They were all out of order, and I vowed to myself that in the future I would always return items to their proper places on store shelves.

The morning passed quickly. I hummed along with the instrumental music that flowed through the store's speakers as I finished stocking the shelves. Before I knew it, Bella was shouting that it was lunchtime.

"I owe you a lunch," I offered as I made my way to the front. Today was my turn to treat. While working with Bella was great, I could tell that I was going to miss our afternoons in the meadow.

"I brought my lunch," Bella smiled softly. "Actually, I brought too much. You're welcome to share it with me. It's nothing fancy, just some leftover lasagna from last night."

"Leftover lasagna sounds great," I replied. "If you're sure…"

"I'm sure," she smiled as she headed back toward the office. "Let me go warm it up. I'll let you know when it's ready."

Ten minutes later, Bella and I were sitting back in the café, and I was trying very hard not to look at the marble countertop.

Lunch was delicious, of course. We talked about the store, and I thanked her once again for hiring me. While I knew it had to be bad for business, I couldn't deny that I was thankful that the store seemed quiet today. It gave me the chance to really watch Bella, and it was obvious that this bookstore was the love of her life. Whether the store was honoring her mother's memory or merely giving her a creative outlet was unimportant. Bella loved this store. You could see it in the way she gazed at the books and carefully arranged the items on the shelf. You could see it in the way she smiled at her customers, even if they didn't buy anything more than a newspaper. This store was her life. Everything had its place. Everything had a home.

And this little bookstore – in the middle of this little town – was Bella's home.

* * *

BPOV

I'd stayed up half the night, simultaneously praying for sleep but hoping to stay awake. I needed the rest. The day was going to be exhausting enough without trying to muddle through on zero sleep. But I knew if I slept I'd just dream of him. While I very much enjoyed my dreams of Edward, I knew it was in my best interest not to have _those_ kinds of thoughts about my newest employee.

I awoke at four in the morning after a particularly vivid dream of Edward kissing me in the stockroom. And then, like the idiot that I am, I'd led him into that very same stockroom to show him how the place was organized. It was just too much, and I was unable to handle the emotions that were coursing through me.

Even then I couldn't regret hiring Edward. He was a good worker, and he was nice to the customers. He'd taken it upon himself to try to make coffee for Makenna's grandfather, and while he'd had no clue how to actually make the coffee, I had been impressed that he'd taken the initiative and attempted to try.

The morning had been nearly perfect, minus the unexpected visit from Jacob.

Jacob and I had dated when I'd first moved to town. It didn't take me long to realize that Jacob Black was a complete asshole who treasured his bank account more than anything else. After our first date, Jacob had bought me a diamond bracelet from Tiffany's that cost more than my car. When I declined his offer for a second date and tried to return the jewelry, he had accused me of being a cocktease and told his friends that I'd been a disappointment in bed.

I was sure that I had been a _huge_ disappointment in bed – considering I'd said no.

Needless to say, our first date was our last.

Somehow, Jacob had gotten his hands on my financial statements, and for the past few months, he'd been hounding me to let him make me an offer for my bookstore. I'd politely declined each and every offer. My bookstore was my life, not an acquisition to be claimed and sold to the highest bidder. Still, Jacob had remained persistent, but never as persistent as he'd been this morning.

"No one says no to me," Jacob had spat from across my desk.

I recalled those words vividly. Those were the very same words he'd said to me at the end of our first date. He didn't get what he wanted that night, either.

And I'll be damned if he was getting my bookstore.

It was close to six when I finally turned the lock on the door. Edward had just spent thirty minutes convincing a fourteen year old boy that he should really listen to the lyrics of "Sex on Fire" by Kings of Leon before serenading his girlfriend with the song as a birthday present. He then offered the boy some more appropriate song choices and some free sheet music. Embry was a good kid who loved to play guitar, and I knew that Edward had just made a new friend.

"You did a good job with him," I complimented him as he helped me with my coat.

I felt his fingertips brush my shoulder, and I slightly trembled. I turned to face him, and what I saw made me gasp. His eyes had that same fiery look that they possessed anytime he was struggling with wanting to say something to me. It was the same torturous expression he often gave me in the meadow. It was the same terrified look he gave me yesterday after we had hugged for the first time.

I was so tired of trying to read his expressions, so tired of these dark moods that pulled him away from me.

"Tell me," I whispered softly. Boldly, I stroked his cheek with my hand. His eyes widened with fear.

"Tell you what?"

"Whatever it is that you want to say," I murmured as I softly caressed his face. His eyes fluttered closed, and I noticed that he had the longest eyelashes I'd ever seen on a guy. They were gorgeous.

"Please," I whispered wistfully.

His eyes opened, and I felt his hand cover mine. He pressed my palm tightly against his cheek. His skin was so soft and warm.

"There's so much I want to say to you," Edward murmured softly. He laced his hand with mine, and I watched as our fingers intertwined. "I just haven't found the words yet. I promise I'm trying. Just…be patient with me. Please?"

I sighed softly and nodded.

"I can do that. Just please don't hide from me," I murmured. "I can see it. Everytime you look at me, I can see that there's this internal battle raging inside of you."

"Internal battle…" Edward's voice trailed off. "Yes, that would be a fairly accurate description." He released my hand and ran his fingers through his hair. "Bella, I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

"That makes two of us," I assured him. He smiled down at me before softly stroking my cheek once more.

"You're really very pretty," Edward whispered.

I blushed and lowered my head. "I'm not."

Gently, Edward tilted my face toward his. "You are beautiful, Bella."

His face was so close, and it would be so easy to just stand on my tip-toes and kiss him. Just once. Just to see if the reality was even close to the fantasy.

But I was being patient.

So I stepped away.

Edward sighed regretfully. "I should go."

I nodded.

"Please lock the door if you stay?"

"Of course," I assured him.

He smiled at me one last time before he walked out the door. As promised, I locked the door behind him.

And then – because I had become such a girl – I went to my office, closed the door, and cried.

* * *

**Much love to snarkerella for her mad beta skills.**

**As always, let me hear what you think. :)**


	7. I Was Made For Chasing Dreams

**Chapter title comes from "Believe" by Staind, one of my very favorite bands in the whole world. Can you tell I pretty much ignore musical genres and just listen to what I like? So far, we've had country, rock, hair metal, and now alternative. Yes, I'm an eclectic girl.**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

_**I Was Made for Chasing Dreams**_

EPOV

"You seem contemplative," Carlisle commented as he approached the porch steps. I stopped my mindless strumming and squinted at him through the rays of sunshine that had somehow broken through the gloomy skies. I'd been so lost in thought that I hadn't heard his car pull into the drive.

"You've been here all of ten seconds," I observed quietly. "How can you tell?"

Dad smiled as he climbed up the steps and settled into his rocking chair. The familiar squeak of the rocker did nothing to soothe my anxiety.

"You've seemed contemplative ever since you came home," Dad offered quietly. "But more so now that you're working at the bookstore. How is that going?"

"It's fine," I mumbled softly, absent-mindedly strumming the guitar once again.

He listened for a few minutes before whispering, "Is that a new song?"

"Yeah."

"Very nice."

I nodded my thanks. It actually needed a lot of work, but it was coming together. The chord progression was ridiculously complicated, but that was my fault for writing it that way.

"So the bookstore," Dad continued gently, "It's just _fine_?"

I hummed as I continued to play. The bookstore was actually more than fine. It was the happiest I had been in over a decade. Over the past week, I'd met, and became reacquainted with, so many wonderful people. Some were old acquaintances from high school that now had careers and families. Some were just long-time Forks residents - people whose names I'd always known but I'd never really known firsthand.

Bella had very loyal customers, and I realized pretty quickly that their faithfulness had very little to do with being book lovers, and more to do with the owner of the store. She greeted each and every customer with the sweetest smile, and when she unknowingly unleashed the full power of that smile, it lit up the entire room and prompted people to buy _something_, even if it was just a bookmark.

Bella's customers weren't the only ones who had fallen victim to her charm. That smile of hers made me want to go to work every day, despite the fact that I was just part-time. I'd been scheduled to work three days this week, but I'd been unable to stay away. Even on my days off, I'd crafted some ridiculous reason to drop by the store, and I'd been greeted with Bella's beautiful smile each and every time.

The only reason I wasn't there today was because it was Sunday, and the store was closed.

I loved watching her as she worked. Little kids adored her, and the female customers loved to visit the café despite the fact that all it offered at this time was coffee or tea. The male customers were an interesting mixture. Some were music lovers who stopped by to purchase new strings or sheet music. Other guys were there to check out the historical reference books or to purchase a gift for their wives. But the others…well, let's just say that Bella had her share of admirers – a fact that was painfully obvious to everyone but her.

If there was one downside to working in the bookstore, it was my inability to ignore the glances most of the men gave her as she led them around the store. I had learned a lot about myself since working for Bella, the most interesting of which was that I am apparently a jealous man. I couldn't remember ever feeling as irrationally angry as I had been yesterday when I'd caught Mike Newton flirting with Bella while she gift-wrapped a book for his mom's birthday. I was relieved when she'd showed absolutely no interest in him, but that didn't stop me from wanting to gouge his eyes for looking at her that way. It was the same feeling I'd experienced the day that Jacob Black had made her cry. If I ever saw him again, I wasn't sure I would be able to resist kicking his ass.

"Edward, what's on your mind?" Carlisle's voice brought me back to reality.

_Her, like always._

I sighed and gently placed my guitar in its case. "Fine, I'll tell you. But you can't tell Mom."

Dad chuckled. "Ah, it's a woman."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wooden rocker.

"I have no idea what I'm doing, Dad."

I turned my head in his direction and noticed that was staring at me.

"Well, you've been in town for less than a month, so I have to assume the woman in question is Bella."

"That would be correct."

"I won't lie, I had a feeling this might happen."

"What do you mean?"

"Bella is an exceptional young woman," Dad replied as he turned his gaze across the front yard. "Esme has grown very fond of her. She suffered a great loss in the death of her mother. She's very sweet. Very grounded. Wise beyond her years. I'm willing to bet that the guys in high school didn't give her a second glance. Teenage boys are hormonal creatures who only think with their…well, you know…" His voice trailed off, and I couldn't help but grimace, because I _did _know. Sadly, _my _teenage hormones had followed me throughout most of my twenties.

"In many ways, Bella is very strong. In other ways, she's quite fragile. She needs someone just as grounded as she is. Someone who is settled," Dad said.

"Which completely rules me out."

Dad searched my face. "And that bothers you."

It wasn't a question; it was a simple of fact. I closed my eyes and lowered my head.

Yes, it bothered me. It bothered me far more than it should.

"You know, Edward," my father said softly. "Even those hormonal teenage boys grow-up eventually. Sometimes, they realize that everything they thought they wanted in life isn't so important anymore. Sometimes, they find a reason to settle down. They find a reason to stay." He slowly rose to his feet. "You know, you aren't nearly as damaged as you think you are. You are a good man, Edward. Perhaps you should give yourself a chance to explore the possibilities."

"What possibilities?" I mumbled as he made his way to the front door.

"The possibility that you deserve to be happy, and the possibility that Bella is your reason to stay."

* * *

I had just finished a very late lunch with my parents and was on my way to take a shower when my cell vibrated in my pocket. I didn't recognize the number, which always made me suspicious.

"Hello?"

"Edward Cullen?" A high-pitched voice resonated in my ear.

"Who wants to know?" I asked, immediately on the defensive.

"My name is Victoria Kelley from Eclipse Music."

My eyes widened, but I controlled my voice. "Never heard of them, or of you."

Victoria laughed. "They said you'd be a hard-ass. That's okay. I'm up to the challenge. I understand you're taking a break from music?"

I sat down on the side of my bed. "You might say that."

"Interesting! Are you still writing?"

"Sometimes," I answered vaguely, growing more perturbed by the minute.

"Excellent! I'm sure your royalty checks have long since diminished, and I'd be willing to guess that any of the money that you _do_ have left – whatever money wasn't swindled or stolen throughout your career– is probably close to gone. Am I right?"

I finally snapped. "What's it to you? Who the hell is this?"

"I'm Victoria Kelley from…"

I ran my fingers through my hair as I tried to control my temper. "Yes. I understand that. What I'm failing to understand is why you're calling me."

"Well, I'd like to talk to you about that – in person, if I could. I understand you're staying with your parents in Forks?"

How the hell this stranger knew where I lived – let alone my cell phone number – was beyond me, and it was honestly starting to piss me off.

"Look, Edward," Victoria replied softly. "I'd just like to make you an offer that I really don't think you'll want to refuse. Let me buy you lunch and we'll discuss it. If you aren't interested in what I have to say, then all you've lost is a few minutes of your time, and all I've lost is the price of lunch. How's tomorrow?"

"I work tomorrow," I replied flatly.

"But you get a lunch break?"

Of course I got a lunch break. But lunch was the favorite part of my day because I got to spend it with Bella.

"Not lunch," I argued. "What about breakfast?"

"Breakfast is great! Newton's Diner?"

My eyes narrowed. This chick was borderline creepy.

"Absolutely not," I muttered. "Subway has breakfast, I think."

"Subway it is!" Victoria squealed excitedly. "You won't regret this, Edward."

We agreed on a time, and I ended the call feeling more confused than ever.

Why would Eclipse Music want to speak with me? Victoria Kelley wanted to offer me _something_, that much was obvious. Record companies rarely sent reps just to make idle chit-chat.

Too anxious to sit on the porch with Dad, I decided to take a drive to clear my head. It was pointless, really. My mind was tangled with thoughts of Bella, my family, and my music. Deep inside, I had this foolish desire to be good enough to maybe deserve all of them.

I had no legitimate reason for driving the twenty miles northwest, up past the small congregational church and onto the deserted plot of land on Fern Hill Road. It wasn't as if I could afford the eight acres of cleared land that had been advertised in the classifieds. A parcel of land that was just waiting for someone to claim it and build a house upon it.

But I was taking my father's advice, and exploring the possibilities.

There really wasn't much to see. The land had been completely cleared, and the only semblance of life was the hundreds of spruce trees that encircled the vacant lot. I walked across the dirt and made my way to the western edge of the property line. It was only then that I realized that I was standing on a ridge which overlooked Lake Ozette. It was breathtakingly beautiful, and it was so easy to imagine building a house right here – right in this spot. I glanced around the property and visualized the driveway….the shutters around the windows…the shingles on the roof…the mailbox perched at the end of the drive…the pair of rocking chairs on the front porch.

I could see it all.

I wanted it all.

But that wasn't the most frightening part of this entire scenario. What scared me the most was the fact that I had pictured _two_ rocking chairs on that porch, and there was only one person on this planet that I could imagine occupying that second chair.

* * *

"It's a generous offer, Edward," Victoria repeated for the fifth time.

Yes, I had been counting. She was feisty, with long red hair that hung in crazy waves down her back. Her pale face was sprinkled with freckles, and she totally looked like the type of woman who would kick your ass and ask questions later. She'd been talking, and I'd been listening, for the past hour.

"Do you know how many generous offers I've accepted in the last ten years?" I asked as I thumbed through the contract.

"Three," Victoria replied quickly as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Yes, I know all about them. I know that Denali Records screwed you into the ground when you dared to kick Tanya's ass to the curb. I know how that she introduced you to a cocaine habit that nearly killed you. I know that Twilight Records let you live in that rat infested hole-in-the-wall in Los Angeles while they stole the publishing rights to your debut album. I even know how New Moon Music made sure that you lost every penny you'd ever made by assigning the most crooked accountants and lawyers in the music business to guide your career."

"Holy shit, you do your homework," I mumbled as I tossed the papers to the table and ran my hands over my face.

"I do, and I understand that you have absolutely no reason to trust me. None at all. You've been burned by three different music companies and countless execs through the years. I know I have my work cut out for me."

"Then why even bother?" I asked, truly curious.

"Because you're talented, and acoustic music is making a huge comeback. Music lovers want meaningful lyrics, not the punishing hip-hop beats that have sold records throughout the last few years. People's tastes are changing, and Eclipse thinks that you would be an awesome addition to our catalog of artists."

It was overwhelming. It was an incredible offer – as were the dollar signs attached to said offer.

"I really need to think this over, Victoria."

"I understand. I'm headed back to Los Angeles as soon as we're finished here, but here's my card."

She handed me the small business card, and I thanked her for making the trip.

"I really hope you give us a chance," Victoria replied as she shook my hand. "You're far too talented to work in a bookstore for the rest of your life. Call me if you have any questions."

* * *

Bella was just unlocking the front door when I pulled into the parking lot of _Turn the Page_. I took one last look at the contract lying in the passenger seat, and took a deep breath before climbing out of the car.

"Good morning." Bella smiled from behind the counter. I nodded in greeting before tossing my jacket onto the coat rack.

Bella looked at me quizzically, "So umm…the new arrivals are here, so we should probably sort through those at some point today."

"I'll do that now," I offered.

I didn't look at her as I made my way back to the stockroom.

Angrily, I tore into the packages. I was confused, scared, and sexually frustrated, and I was taking my anger out on cardboard boxes.

At first glance, the contract looked incredible. I could sing what I wanted. I would own publishing rights to my songs. I would be touring, and I was guaranteed a three album deal. I was older now, and I was better equipped to handle this contract and the possible success that could come along with it. It was everything I'd ever wanted.

So what was stopping me from signing?

I closed my eyes, and a pair of chestnut eyes flickered behind my eyelids – as if I needed the reminder as to why this decision was tearing me apart.

It was completely ludicrous. We'd barely touched. We'd never even kissed. I had no idea how she felt about me. I still wasn't completely sure how I felt about her. But the mere thought of not seeing her every single day was more than I could take, and I kicked the box of new arrivals as I dropped to the hard stone floor of the stockroom. I drew my knees up to my chest and buried my head in my hands as I struggled to make sense of my life.

I'd come home to refocus. To re-examine my life. And in doing so, I'd become reacquainted with my family who I loved more than life. I'd fallen completely in love with my two nieces, and Em and Rose had another baby on the way. I was just getting to know all of them, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to leave them just when I'd actually matured enough to love them as I should.

And then there was Bella, who had become my best friend without even trying, and had become the object of my affection without even realizing it. I had to be honest with myself and admit that my feelings for Bella were deeper than I wanted to acknowledge – a fact that had become blindingly obvious throughout my conversation with Victoria. If I accepted Eclipse's offer, I would miss my family, but my family would always be here – waiting for me with open arms. I wasn't sure that Bella would make the same promise, especially when I had no idea how she really felt.

She encompassed my every thought, and it was time that I told her so.

On cue, Bella suddenly appeared in the dimly lit stockroom. Her hands were on her hips as she quickly scanned the room. Her eyes widened when she finally spotted me on the floor.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

I took a steady breath and rose to my feet. Her lips parted and her breathing accelerated as I slowly made my way to her. What I was about to do was a gigantic risk. It could ruin everything before it even had the chance to turn into something…something that might be incredible and wonderful and possibly life-altering.

It was a chance I had to take.

Her eyes widened in surprise. Very slowly, I lifted my hand to brush across her cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed as she leaned into my touch. Encouraged, I gently cupped her cheek as I wrapped my other hand around her waist. Her eyes snapped open as I pulled her so close to me that I could feel her breath on my face.

"Please," Bella whispered longingly.

"Please what?"

I let my nose glide against hers. I couldn't help but smile when she trembled in my arms.

_She wants me, too._

"Please kiss me."

Her voice was aching with need. My eyes found hers, and I watched as her lips parted in silent invitation.

"This could change everything," I warned her as my mouth kissed the hollow below her ear.

"God, I hope so," Bella moaned, and it was that little moan that finally broke me. I had every intention of kissing her softly. It was our first kiss, after all. But that moan, combined with her hands that had found their way into my hair, sent my fears and excitement and frustration into overdrive.

Swiftly, I pulled her to me, and we both groaned as my mouth hungrily captured hers.


	8. Drench Yourself in Words Unspoken

**Chapter title is from Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten."**

* * *

Chapter 8

_Drench Yourself in Words Unspoken_

BPOV

My first kiss occurred when I was ten years old with a boy by the name of Alec Wilson. It was during summer vacation, and we climbed into the treehouse that Charlie built for me in the backyard. The kiss lasted approximately three seconds, and it was wet and silly and innocent. Of course, there'd been a few guys in high school and in college that I had allowed to kiss me goodnight after a date, but they had all been chaste and – quite honestly – a bit boring.

So, this wasn't my first kiss.

But it really should have been.

Nothing could compare, and I knew deep in my soul that nothing would compare to _this_ first kiss with _this_ man, for the rest of my life.

Edward's soft lips were insistent against mine – craving and frantic and nearly punishing as he swallowed my moans. His hands encompassed my waist, and before I even realized it, my feet were lifted off the ground and he was carrying me. Never breaking the kiss, my arms encircled his neck as I wrapped my legs around his waist. The growl that emanated from his chest only encouraged me, and the last thing I needed was encouragement.

Suddenly, I was sitting on what I could only assume to be the desk in the far corner of the stockroom. His mouth broke away from mine but still remained on me, kissing and sucking the skin along the side of my neck. I groaned as I ran my fingers through his hair, tugging on the ends, which he really seemed to like, because he moaned my name as his mouth found his way back to mine. Our kisses alternated between fast and frenzied to slow and measured. It was just like my dream – only a thousand times better. In my dreams, I'd imagined his touch…his lips…his taste. I didn't have to imagine anymore, and as wonderful as my dreams had been, they paled in comparison to the glorious reality.

Breathless and panting, Edward allowed us both the oxygen we so desperately needed, but he refused to stop kissing me. His lips trailed across my cheek, my nose, and my forehead. Every touch was feather-light as he worshipped me, and while the tenderness was meant to be reverent and sweet, it did nothing to calm the boiling blood that coursed through my veins. His sweet caresses and gentle kisses only made me crave him more.

"We have to stop," Edward whispered pleadingly against my ear. I shook my head no and buried my face in his neck. I placed soft, open-mouth kisses along the skin beneath his collar, and he shuddered in my arms.

"I've dreamed about this," Edward whispered against my ear.

"You dream of me?" I gasped in surprise. Then I felt his teeth gently scraped my earlobe, and my gasp turned into a loud moan.

"All the time. Sometimes the dreams are sweet and innocent…" I trembled as his hot breath tickled my neck. "….but sometimes they're far from innocent, and that's why we have to stop."

Suddenly, the chime of the door and a woman's voice resonated through the store, calling Edward's name. I felt him stiffen as his head turned toward the sound. He sighed softly and kissed me once more before lowering me to the floor.

"We need to talk," Edward said, smiling gently.

He was right— we did need to talk— but I couldn't quite concentrate on that fact. All I could really focus on was that some female was in _my_ store and calling out _his_ name after he'd just kissed me senseless.

"Please stay here. Let me deal with her, and I'll be right back."

Edward kissed me one last time before releasing me and heading out of the stockroom. I shook my head and attempted to control my rapid breathing. I waited an entire two minutes before grabbing one of the smaller boxes of new arrivals and making my way out of the stockroom.

I glanced toward the café, and there they sat in one of the corner booths. Her back was to me, so all I could really see was her flaming red hair and her stiletto heels with crimson-lacquered soles. Instantly, Edward glanced over her shoulder and our eyes locked. I saw him sigh heavily at my obvious refusal of his request to stay in the stockroom, and I couldn't help but smirk. This _was_ my store, after all. Besides, I rarely do what I'm told. It was best that he realized this from the get-go.

I made my way to the new arrivals display, and I ripped the top off the cardboard box with a little more force than was necessary. I tried to reason with myself as I shelved the books. I had absolutely no reason to be jealous. Edward had just kissed me into oblivion less than five minutes ago, and it had been the most passionate experience of my life. Of course, he had other friends, and some of those friends were bound to be women. So what if this one just happened to have killer legs?

I'd finally finished unloading the box just as I glanced up to see Mike Newton make his way through the door. I sighed as I rose to my feet and carried the empty box toward the register. I said hello, and he was all smiles as I made my way around the counter. I carried the box behind me, which I knew would break his heart, considering Mike had this irritating habit of staring at my ass for just a beat longer than necessary. He was a huge flirt, and I'd been brushing off his advances for about two months now. Mike was persistent but never rude, which was the only reason I continued to allow him in my store. Besides, he was a loyal customer. As long as he kept his hands to himself, I could handle a few uncomfortable conversations that always ended with him asking me out and me turning him down. He'd get the hint someday…I hoped.

"Did your Mom like her book?"

"She loved it," Mike nodded as he leaned against the counter. "I'm actually here to buy the next book in the series. I should have just bought it when you recommended it. I had no idea she'd read the whole thing in one day. Who _does_ that?"

"I did that. That's why I suggested you buy the second book," I laughed as I made my way to the fantasy section and handed him the next book in the _Wheel of Time_ series by Robert Jordan. Mike's eyes widened as he saw that the twelve-book series took up an entire shelf all on its own.

"Prolific, wasn't he?" Mike mumbled, no doubt calculating how much his mother's newfound love of the fantasy genre was going to cost him. I explained that this wasn't the entire series – there were two unreleased books still in the works. He cringed at the prospect of more books, and I had mercy on him by offering a discount if he wanted to buy all twelve books today. He jumped at the offer.

While ringing up his books, I watched as Edward walked Miss Flaming Red Hair to the front door. He looked conflicted, but she was smiling from ear-to-ear as she waved goodbye to him. I heard him sigh as he walked to stand by my side, but I kept my eyes on the register.

"So, I guess this will keep Mom busy for a while," Mike commented quietly. "I'll just have to come up with new excuses to come see you."

"Hmm," I replied. Honestly, I hadn't heard a word he said. But Edward obviously had, because his head jerked in Mike's direction and his eyes narrowed.

"Edward," I whispered quietly. His face was rigid with tension as he stared at Mike. "Edward…"

He turned to face me, and his face softened.

"Would you please find a box for Mike's books?"

He nodded before searching under the counter for a box that would hold everything. Finally, he produced the box and began placing the books inside.

"I hope your mom enjoys them," I smiled at Mike as I handed him his receipt. "I'll let you know when the newest one is released."

"Thanks for the discount," Mike replied as he lifted the box from the counter and made his way out the door. Normally, I would have asked Edward to help our customer with the box, but something told me that it'd be best to keep the two of them separated.

"Bella," Edward murmured softly and took my hand, just as another customer asked for help in finding a book in the children's section. I squeezed his hand in apology before making my way over to the shelf. I felt his penetrating stare as I helped the woman select a book for her niece's birthday. While I was helping her, a group of high school boys – led by Embry Call – gathered in the store and led Edward back to the music section. Embry had his guitar with him, and I watched as Edward helped Embry place the new strings on his guitar. He then showed the kids a few chords, and by the end of their visit, they were begging Edward for guitar lessons. It wasn't a bad idea, really. It could drum up some business for the store and give Edward some extra income.

The rest of the day was so busy that neither of us took a lunch. I was morbidly curious about the redhead, and we certainly needed to discuss that kiss. Whenever the crowds would begin to thin, I'd feel his eyes on me, and I'd search the room until I found him. He just smiled that crooked smile at me – and I would begin to hyperventilate as he made his way over – but each and every time, one of us would get cornered by a customer. I couldn't be mad, though. I was grateful for the business, and I was even more grateful that they were actually buying books!

It was almost closing time, and I was sitting at my office desk pouring over this month's promotions when I felt his eyes on me through the glass. The look in his eyes caused my stomach muscles to tighten. His emerald gaze was filled with such a mixture of emotions – sadness, elation, passion, confusion – and I felt the inexplicable desire to go to him.

I dropped the promotional ads onto my desk, and my eyes never left his as I made my way to the door. I didn't know what I would say, but I knew that didn't matter in the least. We had spent countless quiet hours in the meadow where words were never necessary. I threw the door open, and the tormented look on his face nearly broke my heart.

We rushed toward each other, and Edward whispered my name as I leapt into his arms. Our lips met in a crushing, frenzied storm that caused desire to blossom in my belly and ignite every inch of my skin. He groaned as I wrapped my body around his, and our lips never parted as he led me back into my office and sat me gently on top of my desk.

"Did you lock the front door?" I panted against his mouth. He nodded yes, and his hands wrapped around my back.

"You have a thing with me on top of desks, don't you?" I grinned against his lips.

Edward growled as his hands made their way under the back of my shirt. I arched toward him as his soft fingers trailed along my spine.

"Desks. Countertops. You name it. I've envisioned them all," Edward breathed as he nipped at the skin around my collarbone. I was so happy that I'd chosen a v-neck blouse today. He stopped kissing just as his lips began to inch lower, and I groaned at his superhuman control. With a soft sigh, Edward pressed his forehead against mine. We were both a little breathless and a lot worked up.

"Hi," Edward panted softly.

"Hi."

I giggled, and his once agonized face broke into a crooked smile.

"Do you know how long I've wanted to kiss you?"

I smiled happily. "How long?"

"Since the day I accused you of being star-struck."

My eyes narrowed. "But that was the very first time we met…"

"I know," Edward murmured as he leaned in to kiss me softly.

We could have been kissing since that very first day? My heart wept as I considered how hot kissing in the meadow could have been.

"Don't be mad," Edward whispered gently against my lips. "We'll make up for lost time, I promise."

"In the meadow," I agreed eagerly.

"Whatever you want," He assured me as he tenderly kissed the corner of my lips. "Wherever you want. Anytime you want."

I sighed happily as he continued placing soft kisses along my face. My eyes closed in contentment, and when I opened them once again, he was gazing at me with a look so tender and sweet that it nearly took my breath away.

"You're so pretty," Edward said, and I felt my face grow impossibly hotter. "Have I ever told you how pretty you are?"

"You told me yesterday," I reminded him. Compliments – especially about my appearance – were never something I'd handled well. When I looked in the mirror, all I saw was me. My nose was slightly up-turned, and my eyes were just an ordinary shade of brown. There was absolutely nothing special about me.

"I'm going to keep saying it until you believe it," Edward promised me. He kissed the tip of my nose before extricating himself from the vice grip that had become my legs around his waist.

"You look better," I remarked as he stepped back just a bit so that our hips weren't pressed together. I almost whimpered at the loss of contact.

"What do you mean?"

I ran my fingers through his hair, and his eyes closed. He _really_ liked that.

"You've looked so stressed out all day," I murmured softly, and then I giggled. "Well, except for the times you were throwing me on top of desks."

He smirked, but then his smile fell as he twirled a strand of my hair around his fingers. "I was very stressed out. I'm still stressed out, actually, but you calm me."

"Why are you stressed?"

Edward sighed softly. "I can't think straight with you sitting on top of this desk. It makes me want to…." His voice trailed off, and I immediately recognized the hungry look in his eyes as they swept over me. As much as that excited me, I knew we really, really needed to talk about whatever was bothering him.

"We skipped lunch," I said as I hopped down from the desk. "Why don't you let me make you dinner, and you can tell me what has you all stressed out."

Edward grinned as he took my hand in his. "Bella Swan, are you asking me out on a date?"

"I am."

"Wow. First kiss _and_ first date all on the same day?"

"Yep," I nodded excitedly. "I'm sort of an in-the-moment kind of girl."

Edward laughed, and I grabbed my jacket and bag as we made our way out of my office and toward the front of the store. Refusing to let go of me for even a second, Edward stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist as I quickly made tomorrow's deposit with the cash in the drawer. I explained the procedure to Edward and showed him the safe, just in case I ever needed him to close the store on his own. We turned off the lights and locked the door before making our way to our cars.

"Do you want to ride with me?" I offered as I unlocked my car. Edward grinned as he unlocked his own, and the beeps echoed in the still of the night. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure we're the only people in Forks who lock their car doors."

"We've lived in big cities, so it's just habit," Edward shrugged as he kissed my forehead. "And thanks, but I'll follow you. I don't want you to have to come back out tonight just to bring me to my car. I'll follow you."

"Okay," I smiled as he opened my car door for me and closed it once I was settled into my seat. I fastened my seat belt and watched as he climbed into his Volvo. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I realized that what started out as an ordinary Monday had turned into something very important.

I was taking Edward to my house.

I was cooking him dinner.

And, God willing, more kissing would be involved.

* * *

I quickly gave Edward the tour of my tiny house, which took approximately five minutes. I loved my house. It was cute and cozy, but it only consisted of five rooms – one of which was the laundry room. I couldn't help but giggle when Edward refused to take more than a two-second look at the bedroom.

"I'm surprised you don't just live with your dad," Edward remarked as we made our way into the kitchen.

"They always say that it's hard to go back to your parents once you've been out on your own. I'd lived in a dorm for four years. I was pretty sure Dad and I would get on each other's nerves, and I think he felt the same way, because this house was my graduation present."

"It's really nice," Edward said as he climbed onto a stool and rested his elbows on the island between us. "I wish you'd let me help with dinner."

I shook my head as I hunted through the pantry for spaghetti ingredients. "No way. I offered to make you dinner. Besides, I'm pretty territorial when it comes to my kitchen."

Edward laughed, and I felt his eyes on me as I placed the noodles on the stove and began chopping tomatoes for the sauce. We made small talk, never really broaching the subjects that were gnawing at my curiosity. I placed the sauce on the burner and began chopping garlic bread when I felt him behind me. I bit my lip as he brushed my hair away from my shoulder and placed his chin against it. His hands rested on my hips, and I leaned back against his chest.

"I have a knife in my hand," I reminded him.

He chuckled lightly, and his breath tickled my neck. My body trembled, and the knife began to shake in my hand.

"Careful," Edward whispered as he gently took the knife out of my hand. He placed it on the countertop, and I closed my eyes as his lips brushed just below my ear. I moaned softly as he slowly took my earlobe in his mouth.

"I'm sorry," he murmured against my neck, "you were just too far away from me."

I sighed as he turned me around in his arms. I tilted my head, allowing me to gaze into those wide green eyes that had haunted my dreams for weeks. He leaned down, gently brushing his lips against mine.

"Edward, the sauce is going to burn," I managed to whisper as his lips trailed along my cheek. "And the noodles…"

"Screw the noodles," Edward murmured, and the curse, combined with the way his hands were drifting along the bottom of my jeans, caused a rush of dizziness that had me gripping his arms for support. Obviously, he took this as a sign, because he groaned my name, and I found myself perched above him for the third time today – this time, from the comfort of my kitchen counter.

I grinned down at him. "You really like me on top, don't you?"

Edward's eyes darkened and I bit my lip, realizing what I'd said. He exhaled a deep breath and a light laugh before kissing me gently and placing me back on the floor. He made his way back to the island, and I quickly turned to stir the clumpy noodles and nearly-scalded sauce.

Thankfully, dinner wasn't ruined, and Edward offered to set the table while I took the garlic bread out of the oven.

"What would you like to drink?" I asked, having no idea what he actually liked. If he was like most men, he would probably prefer a beer. Charlie's fridge was always stocked with beer, but I hated the smell of it, so I never kept it in the house.

"Anything is fine," Edward replied as he carefully arranged the plates on my small kitchen table. "Just nothing alcoholic."

My eyebrows rose in surprise as I fumbled through the fridge. "You don't drink alcohol?"

"Not anymore," he replied as I pulled two soft drinks out of the fridge. His voice sounded distant and sad, and when I turned to face him, those same expressions were etched across his face.

There was so much about Edward that I'd yet to learn, and I was well aware that his decade away from home was probably full of stories that would keep me up at night. There was definite sadness there, and probably plenty of stories featuring countless women that I _really_ didn't want to hear. But I was determined to hear every last one of them, because I knew I had to embrace all of him – the good and the bad – if we stood any chance of making this work.

I slowly made my way to the table and placed the cans on each of our placemats. I then turned in his direction and stood on my tip-toes, lacing my fingers around the back of his neck. His face flickered as he came back to the present, and he smiled softly as he wrapped his arms around me. I leaned up and brushed his lips with mine, but before the kiss could get too heated, I pulled away and announced that dinner was ready.

I had to learn self-restraint, too.

Dinner was good, despite the near massacre of the noodles and sauce. We sat side-by-side and talked about his family, and between his fond memories and Esme's recent stories, I felt like I knew each of them personally. I told him that the Internet Café should be up and running within the next week, and I suggested that he offer guitar lessons during after-school hours. His eyes lit up as I offered him the medium-sized storage room right next to my office as a place to hold lessons, and he promised he'd give it some thought.

"You're a really great cook," Edward murmured appreciatively as he devoured the spaghetti. He had a tiny bit of sauce lingering on the corner of his mouth, and it took every ounce of my mediocre self-restraint to keep from licking it off.

"Thanks," I whispered as I dropped my eyes to my plate and finished my dinner. When I looked up again, the sauce was gone, and I sighed with relief. After all, there's only so much temptation a girl can take.

Edward insisted on loading the dishwasher, and together, we cleaned the kitchen. It seemed so domestic and normal, and for the millionth time, I wondered why this beautiful man was working in my bookstore instead of out in the world living his dream. Not that I was complaining, of course. I loved that he was here, and I loved that he seemed to be enjoying his time, but I cared about him – much more than I probably should at this point in our relationship – and I wondered if he could be truly happy in this little town without music in his life.

"Are you going to tell me what had you all stressed out today?" I asked after we'd made our way to the living room sofa. Edward leaned his head against the cushion and stroked my knuckles with his fingertips.

"I had a breakfast meeting with that woman," Edward explained quietly.

"The redhead?"

He nodded as he turned his head toward mine. "Her name is Victoria Kelly, and she's a record exec with Eclipse Records."

I stiffened slightly, and Edward's stopped stroking my knuckles. Instead, he gripped my hand with his.

"They've offered me a record deal," he continued.

"Edward, that's great!"

"Yeah, I guess so," Edward replied cautiously. "I mean, it sounds like a great deal. I'm going to let dad's lawyer look over the contract tomorrow."

"You don't seem too excited."

His eyes flickered to mine and then back to our entwined hands. "No. I am excited – cautiously excited anyway. I'd own all of the rights to my songs, and it's a guaranteed three album deal." Edward's voice dropped as he stroked my fingers with his. "It's just that….the deal includes a tour…"

"How long?"

"Three months," Edward said. "They may extend it if things go well. That's why she stopped by the store – to tell me that Eclipse may prolong the tour depending on ticket sales. Victoria thought that might entice me to sign."

Three months. Maybe more. Three months of living his dream. Three months that could change the entire direction of his career.

Three months away from home. Three months away from me.

_He was leaving._

I had absolutely no right to feel the emotions that quickly bubbled to the surface.

Fear. Sadness. Suffocation.

"Bella," he whispered gently as he pulled me into his lap. "Breathe, sweetheart."

"I'm fine," I lied as I found my equilibrium and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I'm….just...really excited for you, that's all."

Edward brushed the hair away from my face. I felt his eyes on my profile as I stared at the wall, trying to focus on anything but the pain that was squeezing my heart. I couldn't look at his face. One look into his eyes and I was sure to fall apart.

I was so selfish. He had the chance to live his dream, and here I was, trembling in his arms and lying through my teeth. As if I had any right to make this decision hard for him.

As if I had any right to miss him.

He nuzzled my cheek with his nose. "Please look at me."

I shook my head stubbornly, and he sighed as he buried his face against my neck.

"You're my best friend," Edward whispered, and I closed my eyes, hoping to stop the tears that were threatening to spill with his sweet words. "But you're so much more than that, Bella. I tried so hard to ignore the way I feel about you, because honestly, it scares me to death. And I know, Bella. I know you feel it, too."

Unable to deny it, I finally allowed myself a look into his eyes, and I nodded.

Edward smiled and softly kissed the corner of my mouth. "I've only known you for a few weeks, but I swear, it's like I've known you my entire life. It's completely crazy, but the thoughts of leaving you…of not seeing you for three months…." His voice shook with emotion as his arms tightened around me.

"What?" I asked incredulously. Was he seriously considering turning this down because of _me_? "No! You have to go! You deserve this chance, Edward. I won't let you resent me. I won't!"

"I would never…I could never…" his voice was just a whisper as he nuzzled my hair.

Swiftly, I turned in his lap so that I could face him. He groaned as the motion pressed me tighter against him, and his hands captured my hips as I straddled him. He gazed up at me with a look so possessive…so hungry…so tortured…and I steeled my resolve.

I refused to be the reason he gave up on his dream.

"Please promise me you'll consider this offer," I murmured softly, trying to sound convincing.

His eyes flashed with confusion and hurt. "You want me to go?"

"I want you to be happy," I reasoned. "I want you to have this chance."

"_You_ make me happy," Edward murmured as his nose nuzzled mine. "I've never been happier in my entire life than I am when I'm with you. That has to mean something, doesn't it? Maybe this is where I'm meant to be. Right here with you and with my family."

"Maybe." I smiled at him, trying to hide how ecstatic those words made me feel. "But you owe it to yourself to be certain. Please promise me you'll think about this before you turn down their offer."

Edward stared adoringly into my eyes.

"I am absolutely crazy about you," he admitted with a sigh as he pressed his forehead to mine.

"I'm crazy about you, too. If the deal is a good one, and you decide to sign, then we'll make it work."

"We will?" Edward's voice trembled softly.

"We will," I vowed with more determination than I really felt. "Now promise me."

His eyes searched mine before he finally whispered, "If it's a good deal, then I promise to consider their offer."

It was nearly midnight when I walked Edward to my door. I was emotional and scared and I wanted to beg him to spend the night with me. The look on his face led me to believe that he was wishing that I'd ask, but I knew neither of our hearts could take it. Not tonight.

"Call me tomorrow and let me know what the lawyer says," I said as we walked out onto the porch. "And don't come to the store tomorrow. It's your day off."

He turned toward me and placed his hands on each side of my face. The intensity of his stare caused my stomach to clench and my heart to race.

"I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore," Edward whispered, and before I could respond, his mouth captured mine in a scorching goodnight kiss.

That night, my dreams were fitful. Gone were the erotic visions that had haunted me for so many weeks. Instead, my dreams were filled with the soft strains of a guitar while I searched through the meadow. The meadow – usually filled with color and light – was now barren and brown.

And I was all alone.

**Your reviews continue to overwhelm and humble me. Thank you so much!**


	9. I Found a Reason

**AN: Just a word of caution – with this chapter, we're going to start learning about Edward's past. There will be references to sex, alcohol, and drugs. It won't be incredibly graphic, but I wanted to warn you.**

**Snarkerella – My lovely beta. Thank you for indulging my love of ellipses and loving this story enough to want to fix my mistakes.**

**Chapter title comes from an indie singer named Cat Power.**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

_**I Found a Reason**_

EPOV

"It looks good to me," Ben Cheney replied as he handed the contract back to me. Ben was an attorney in town and one of the few friends from high school who actually still spoke to me.

"Thanks," I mumbled, my eyes clouding as I read over the fine print once again. I'd been screwed too many times to ignore the small text.

"You don't sound too enthused. They seem very interested in signing you. I'm sure you could negotiate whatever it is that's keeping you from jumping for joy."

"I really doubt that."

Ben grinned as he rose from his desk. "What you need is a drink. I'll even let you buy me one. Hey, remember our graduation party down at the Rez? I don't think I've ever seen so much flowing booze in my life…well, expect maybe in college."

I laughed darkly and stood up. "A drink is the _last_ thing I need right now. But thanks, Ben. I really appreciate the free legal advice."

Ben shrugged. "Not a problem. Listen, if you decide to sign that contract, you're going to need a manager, right?"

"Right…." I replied hesitantly. My previous manager was in prison for embezzling from me and five other unsuspecting musicians.

"I have this friend who is based out of Seattle," he explained as he pushed the buttons on his phone. "Her name is Jane and she manages a few new artists. She's tough, and will kick anyone's ass who even thinks about screwing with you. Let me find her number."

After jotting down Jane's number, I thanked Ben for his help and made my way to the car. Within minutes, I found myself in the parking lot of _Turn the Page_. I slammed my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. I grabbed the contract and took a deep breath, trying to control the rage that was threatening to overtake me.

In my hand, I was holding everything I'd ever wanted from a record company. The deal had appeared to be a legit one, and Ben had just confirmed it. I had really been hoping that he'd find something shady – anything that might be remotely questionable – just to give me a valid excuse to say no. I looked out my windshield and stared intently at the store's sign, and I thought about the girl within those walls who was making me reconsider everything I thought I'd ever wanted.

I had no right to feel what I was feeling. Our quiet visits in the meadow, the days we'd spent working side-by-side, the mind-blowing kisses…every moment was on repeat in my mind, reminding me that this incredible woman was the reason I woke up each morning with a smile on my face. I hadn't smiled in so long, and it was nice to actually be happy for the first time in years.

I'd had my fair share of girlfriends – if you could call them that. Girls who had taken what they wanted. Girls who had given me what I needed. I'd even shared my bed with a few of them for an extended period of time. But none of them had ever made me feel the way I felt when Bella and I finally kissed for the first time. She had the softest lips, and touching them had sent a shot of pure adrenaline through my veins. Old habits quickly resurfaced, and I'd wanted to sleep with her – right there in that dusty stockroom. And – because the world loves to throw temptation in my face – Bella hadn't resisted. In fact, she'd even encouraged me. When she'd wrapped her legs around my waist, I'd never in my life been so close to losing complete control of my sanity.

I exhaled a shaky breath as I laid my head against the steering wheel, trying to control my body's natural reaction to that memory. I finally got my breathing to slow, and my body to relax, and then I remembered the kisses in her office...on her countertop…and on her couch. Then, because I was a complete masochist, I recalled her sweet words as she begged me to consider this offer, and that we'd find a way to make it work.

And then, I remembered the sweetest words of all.

_I'm crazy about you, too._

The raw emotion that coursed through me was staggering. As a songwriter, you try to weave words to capture emotions or to paint a picture of a specific moment in time, but those were the sweetest words I'd ever heard. Truly inspired for the first time in years, I'd driven straight home and grabbed my guitar. I'd stayed up most of the night – writing song after song – trying to write away my fears while desperately searching for the words that could somehow describe how this woman made me feel.

It was three in the morning when I realized that I had found my muse – and she had wide chocolate eyes and mahogany hair and was making me feel things I'd never felt in my entire life.

How could I possibly leave her when I'd just found her?

I got out of the car and walked toward the front window of the store. There were only a few cars in the lot, and I was grateful she wasn't too busy, since she was the only one working today. I stopped outside the window and peeked inside, hoping for just a quick glance of her, and I was rewarded when I saw Bella sitting in the rocking chair close to the window. She was reading a children's book to the little boy perched in her lap. He looked to be about the same age as the twins, and I could actually hear his giggle through the glass. Bella giggled in reply, and I remained rooted to my spot as I watched them enjoying their afternoon story. As if she could sense my presence, Bella's eyes turned to the glass, and a breathtaking smile erupted on her face when she saw me. I smiled sheepishly in return, embarrassed that I'd be caught gazing at her. I waited until their story was finished before I made my way into the store.

"I'll see you next week, Brady," she said as she hugged him goodbye.

"Thanks, Bella," A woman who I assumed to be Brady's mother was smiling gratefully. "And we'll be back next week to check out that café."

"That's great," Bella smiled. "Have a good day."

I was pretty proud of myself. I made it until the woman and her child were almost out the door before I grabbed Bella by the hand and pulled her toward her office. As soon as we rounded the corner, I pushed her against the wall and kissed her hungrily. She gasped and then giggled against my lips, and I couldn't help but moan as her hands wove their way into my hair. I loved when she did that, and she knew it. She tugged on the ends just enough to cause the slightest amount of pain, and it drove me insane.

"I missed you," I whispered breathlessly when we finally came up for air.

"I missed you, too." Bella smiled as she trailed her finger along my jaw line. "But I told you to stay away. It's your day off."

"I know, and I told you that I _couldn't _stay away. Besides, I'd love to have lunch with you."

Bella grinned. "It's been so dead today. I was thinking of maybe working through lunch and closing early."

"How early?"

"I was thinking I'd close at three," Bella said. "So, how about a late lunch? I have lots of leftover spaghetti from last night."

"It's my turn to feed you," I reminded her. "How about a picnic in the meadow?"

Her eyes flickered with an emotion I didn't quite understand as she slightly trembled in my arms.

"Are you okay?"

She smiled softly, but her eyes were tortured. "Sorry, yeah a picnic in the meadow sounds great."

I studied her face carefully, and I noticed that she looked very tired. "Are you sure? We can go anywhere you like."

"I'm sure," she promised. "How did your meeting go with the lawyer?"

I took a deep breath. "We'll talk about it later, okay?"

"Okay," Bella whispered as she tip-toed and kissed me gently. "See you in a few hours?"

"I'll be there," I replied with a smile. "Bring your book."

She grinned. "Bring your guitar."

* * *

_The club was smoky, and – like always – the strobe lights were giving me a headache. Techno music was pumping through the speakers, and bodies were gyrating to the thunderous beats of the bass. This was so not my scene, but it was Tanya's, and Tanya always got whatever she wanted._

"_Finally," Heidi purred, as Tanya led us through the curtain of the VIP area._

_Felix was lounging on the sofa – his eyes glassy and unfocused. "We were beginning to think you two weren't coming."_

"_Edward had to stop to sign autographs," Tanya rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. She handed the vile of white powder to Heidi who giggled as she deposited its contents onto the glass. Felix expertly cut the lines and passed the straw to me, but I shook my head and pulled my own straw from the pocket of my jeans._

"_Such a boy scout," Tanya cooed in my ear. "Always prepared."_

* * *

I bolted straight up in my bed. Sweat was pouring off me, and I pulled the blanket closer to my trembling body. I placed a shaky hand over my heart and felt it beating wildly against my chest.

It had been almost a year since my last nightmare. I had forgotten how terrifying they could be.

_Why am I dreaming about this shit?_

I glanced at the alarm clock next to my bed, and my answer was lying right there on the bedside table. That damn contract was giving me nightmares and serving as a reminder as to why signing the thing could be a very, very bad idea.

As if having to leave Bella and my family weren't enough reasons to shred it into pieces, I seriously needed to consider the possibility that I wouldn't be able to avoid the temptations the road had to offer. I'd spent the last few years trying to get some kind of control of my addictive personality. While I was now older and wiser, I remembered very well that the road could be a very lonely place. Women, drugs, and alcohol – sometimes all at once – were friendly companions when one was tired and lonesome.

Was I really willing to chance it?

With a shaky breath, I pulled my t-shirt over my head and pulled on a pair of jeans. I chanced a glance outside, and I was grateful that the rain was holding off. A quick glance in my mirror confirmed that I looked like shit, and I grabbed my jacket before racing down the stairs toward the kitchen.

"Your mother is tearing down the pantry looking for a picnic basket," Carlisle chuckled at me from his seat at the table. "She even found a blanket."

I grinned before opening the door of the fridge and grabbing two bottles of water. Inside, I could see that Esme had already made the sandwiches for our picnic.

"I wanted to make them," I grumbled like a toddler as I pulled the sandwiches out of the fridge and slammed the door shut. Dad laughed from behind his paper.

"Humor your mother," Dad grinned. "She's so excited that you and Bella are….doing whatever it is you're doing."

"Yeah, we haven't really defined it yet."

"You don't usually nap," Dad commented as he drank his tea. "Rough night?"

"In some ways, yeah."

"Need to talk about it?"

I did, so I told my father all about the contract. I stared at my hands as I relayed the details of the deal, and he remained silent throughout my speech. When I was finished, I slowly raised my head to gauge his reaction.

"If Ben says it's a good deal, then, legally, I'm sure it's a good deal." Carlisle said as his eyes searched my face. "But, personally, is it a good deal for you? Is this what you want?"

"I used to think so."

"But not now?"

"I don't know. I mean, it's everything I've ever wanted for my musical career. I'm older and more mature. I would hope that I wouldn't make the same mistakes again. This could really be my shot, Dad."

"But?"

I sighed heavily. "But I like being home with my family. I like the slow pace and the nice people. I like working at the bookstore. I actually looked at a plot of land out on Fern Hill Road. I could save some money, build a house there, and finally settle down."

Dad regarded me carefully. "All of that sounds wonderful, but do those things make you happy? Would you really be content working at the bookstore for the rest of your life?"

"Well," I replied thoughtfully, "I could still write and just sell my songs instead of perform them. Bella actually suggested that I give guitar lessons at the store, so really, I could have the best of both worlds."

My father tried very hard to hide his smile. He failed miserably.

"I think Bella is very good for you. Do you remember what I said about possibilities?"

I nodded as his words echoed in my head.

_Examine the possibility that you deserve to be happy, and the possibility that Bella is your reason to stay._

"I am considering all of the possibilities," I assured him.

He smiled and patted my shoulder just as my mother walked in. She was smiling triumphantly and holding a brown picnic basket as if it was the Holy Grail.

"Humor your mother," Dad reminded me, and I chuckled as my mom and I filled the basket with everything I needed for my picnic lunch with Bella.

* * *

"That's a new song," Bella whispered serenely as she tossed the remnants of our lunch into the basket.

"It is," I nodded and continued strumming. "I wrote it last night."

"It's pretty."

I smiled at her, and she smiled in return before grabbing her book and settling onto the blanket. Today she was reading _Anne of Green Gables_, and by the looks of the worn pages, I was certain that this wasn't the first time. I transitioned into the next song and leaned my head back against the spruce that overshadowed our favorite spot on the grass. I had missed this – these quiet times in the meadow with just Bella and my guitar. It was the only place where I was truly at peace.

I watched her as she lay across the blanket. She was propped up against her jacket and lying on her back. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders, and a few strands were blowing in the cool breeze. Once again, I noticed the dark circles under her eyes.

"You look so tired," I murmured softly over the strains of the guitar.

She glanced away from her book and smiled shyly at me. "So do you."

"Yeah, but I had a nap."

I didn't bother telling her that my nap didn't make me feel better. It had only served the purpose of scaring the shit out of me, which was probably a good thing.

Bella sighed softly as she closed her eyes. "A nap sounds good. I should have brought a pillow."

I stopped strumming and gently placed my guitar on the blanket. She opened her eyes and watched me curiously as I offered my hand. I tugged gently and pulled her to me, and her eyes softened as she realized I was offering my lap as her own personal resting place. Without a word, she gently laid her head against my lap, and I ran my fingers through her hair as she sighed sweetly and closed her eyes. She was asleep within minutes.

I lightly traced my finger along her eyebrows, down her closed eyelids, and over the bridge of her nose. With a feather-light touch, my fingertip ghosted along the outline of her lips. I kissed my finger and placed it carefully against her mouth, and she sighed happily in her sleep.

I gazed at her as she slept peacefully, and it dawned on me that I had never really shown affection to any woman before Bella. Perhaps those girls hadn't deserved my affection, but they also hadn't deserved my callous treatment. My shame spiraled into disgust, and I was reminded once again that I didn't deserve this moment in this meadow with this beautiful woman.

"Edward," she whispered softly and clearly – so clearly that I was sure she'd awakened. But her eyes were closed and her breathing was rhythmic.

_Was she dreaming of me?_

No, I didn't deserve this. But I wanted it – more than I'd ever wanted anything.

And with that realization, I had my answer.

"Stay with me," she murmured in her sleep, only solidifying my belief that this was where I was meant to be. I smiled down at her and cupped her cheek in my hand. She leaned into my touch and settled back into a tranquil sleep.

I leaned my head back against the tree and closed my eyes, reveling in the touch of her skin and the serenity that flowed through me as I started making plans. I could stay right here in Forks and make a career as a songwriter. I could stay connected to my family, grow even closer to Bella, and maybe buy that piece of land and build my house – one piece of wood at a time. I could have the life I never even knew I wanted, until now.

After a while, Bella began to shuffle in my lap, and I glanced down at her beautiful face. Her eyes were heavy, but she was smiling up at me.

"Hi," she whispered sleepily.

"Hi."

I trailed my fingertips along the dark circles under her eyes. They were still there, just not as prominent.

"You shouldn't have let me sleep," Bella murmured, her eyes closing as my hand made its way back to her hair. I slid my fingers through the tangled waves, watching as her face relaxed with each stroke of my hand.

"I have a new favorite pastime," I admitted with a grin. "I love watching you sleep."

She scrunched up her nose, and it was unbelievably cute. "Did I say anything? I tend to talk in my sleep, especially when I'm really tired."

"You said a few things, yeah."

"Oh no," she groaned adorably. "What did I say?"

"You said my name."

"Oh. Well, that doesn't sound too bad," she hedged. "Anything else?"

Bella had been adamant that I consider this deal – mostly out of fear that I'd resent her if I didn't. I couldn't admit to her that her sleepy plea had only strengthened my resolve that she was, indeed, the very best reason to stay.

"That was all, sweetheart. Just my name."

She sighed contently as she raised her head. Refusing to let her go, I gently took her hand and tugged her until she was sitting in my lap. Running my hands along her back, I glided my nose against hers as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I gazed into her deep brown eyes before gently brushing my mouth against hers. The kiss could so easily have turned frantic, but perhaps it was the tranquility of the meadow that urged us to keep our emotions in check. We stayed just like that – wrapped in each other's embrace and kissing slowly – until Bella finally broke away and buried her head against my neck with a shaky sigh. I closed my eyes and hugged her tightly as I nuzzled her hair, letting her scent ground me.

"Kisses in the meadow were always a fantasy of mine," Bella whispered against my neck. I smiled and held her tighter. I could feel every curve, and I marveled once again at how perfectly she molded to me.

"Any other fantasies I should know about?" I asked with a low whisper, and she giggled in my ear.

"A few," Bella admitted. Her mouth tugged my earlobe, and I groaned as her teeth lightly grazed the shell of my ear.

"Tell me about them," I urged her, holding her tighter and burying my face against her shoulder.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

She pulled back a little and pressed her forehead to mine. Her eyes were full of sadness. "Because verbalizing them will just make it harder if you…"

_If I leave._

Bella sighed sadly as she closed her eyes and rested her head on my shoulder.

I had been foolish in thinking that there was a choice to be made.

Leaving Bella, even for a few months, had never been an option.

That's when I realized that I was falling in love with her, and I was powerless – and completely unwilling – to stop it.

* * *

**Let me relieve some fears. I am not a big fan of Edward and/or Bella pushing each other away in an act of selfless love. That was why I despised most of **_**New Moon**_**. That doesn't mean we'll have smooth sailing and blue skies because there is some drama on the way. But having one of them push the other away is not in my plan. **

**Feel better? :)**

**Let me know what you think! :)**


	10. Standing at the Crossroads

**AN:** **Chapter title comes from "I'll Stand By You" by the Pretenders.**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

_**Standing at the Crossroads**_

BPOV

Today was cloudy, which wasn't anything unusual, but I couldn't help but notice that today's gloomy skies perfectly matched my mood. The bookstore was quiet, and even Amy Lee's hauntingly soothing voice streaming through the store's speakers did nothing to relieve my loneliness.

It was completely ridiculous that I was missing him this much.

It had only been two days since our picnic in the meadow. Edward wasn't scheduled to work until tomorrow, but – because neither of us seemed to be capable of staying away from each other – we'd had dinner together the past two nights. Every night ended the same way – with desperate, hungry kisses on my couch that left us both breathless. We were like two teenagers unable to keep our hands off each other, and it was becoming harder and harder to say goodbye to him at the end of each night. But just when things would begin to get too heated, Edward would always pull away. I would lie awake, completely sexually frustrated, until the wee hours of the morning. I found it ironic that I was so frustrated when I had absolutely no idea what I was missing.

It wasn't because of moral or religious reasons, and while I did have a strong belief that being a slut wasn't for me, I wasn't necessarily waiting for marriage. I had just been waiting for…_him_. And suddenly, _him_ had a name.

I wanted _him_, and it was quickly driving me insane.

While I was woefully inexperienced, I was acutely aware of the physical signs of desire, and I knew that Edward wanted me, too. What I couldn't figure out was why he was resisting. A lifetime of insecurities tried to convince me that he just wasn't attracted to me, but I knew that couldn't really be true. His green eyes blazed every time he looked at me, and his hands were frantic every time he touched me. Our kisses…_God_, our kisses were so passionate, and I knew there was no way he could kiss me like that and _not _want me.

Edward hadn't told me much about his life on the road, but I suspected he'd been with his fair share of women. He was gorgeous and talented, and I thought it was safe to assume that he had women throwing themselves at his feet. While I had no actual proof, I felt certain that I was the only virgin in this relationship.

So why was he stalling?

And at what point in time had I become a sex-starved woman?

After all, we'd just recently admitted that we actually had feelings for each other. The rational part of me knew that having sex with Edward, especially when he may be going away on tour, was a very bad idea and would just make the separation that much harder. But there was another side of me – a side which had lain dormant for far too long – was absolutely _aching_ for him.

It was times like these when I really missed my mom. I hadn't made a lot of friends in Forks, and while I loved Esme, this certainly wasn't a subject I could discuss with Edward's mother. How mortifying would _that_ be?

The soft chime of the door interrupted my misery, and I glanced up from my computer screen at the register to see twin smiling faces beaming at me from the entrance. Standing behind them was a tall, voluptuous blonde looking both confused and exhausted as her eyes scanned the store. This insanely beautiful woman had to be their mother. She was very, very pregnant and was looking around the room as if she was searching for the nearest chair.

"Hi girls!" I greeted them as I made my way around the counter.

"Bella!" Claire and Katie rushed toward me and attached themselves to each of my legs.

"I'm sorry to just barge in on you like this," the woman apologized. "We were just in town doing some shopping and the girls begged me to stop by. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," I grinned. "I'm Bella."

"I know," she smiled tiredly. "My girls talk about you all the time, and Esme just adores you. I'm Emmett's wife, Rosalie."

I led the girls and Rosalie back to the café. I offered Rosalie something from the café as the girls made their way to the beanbags in the children's section. I placed the plate of cookies and the steaming mugs on the table as I sat down. Rosalie winced and shifted uncomfortably in the confines of the booth, so I pulled the table toward me, allowing her more room to breathe.

"Thanks," she frowned. "I'm not used to this. It's given me a deeper appreciation for people who struggle with their weight, that's for sure. Emmett loves it, of course. He says he's really going to miss my boobs."

I laughed and watched as Rosalie's eyes scanned the store.

"This is a really nice bookstore," she murmured appreciatively. "I'm not really a reader, but the girls love books." Her eyes shifted toward the children's section, and she smiled adoringly at her girls. They were snuggled close on the beanbags and taking turns reading to each other.

We talked for over an hour, and I was surprised how easily the conversation flowed. Thanks to Esme, I knew quite a bit about Rosalie and Emmett, and we laughed aloud as we each shared stories about our childhood. I learned that Rosalie's parents had divorced when she was a child, but from what I could tell, that was really all that she and I had in common. But she seemed sweet, and it would be so nice to actually have someone to talk to about the insanity that had become my love life.

"So," she murmured as she finished the last of her cookie. "What's going on between you and my brother-in-law?"

I also learned that Rosalie got right to the point. Surprised, I choked on my tea, and she cringed when she saw the look on my face.

"I was afraid of that. You like him."

"I do," I admitted, and I sighed with relief, thinking that was the end of _that _discussion.

_Wrong._

"Bella," Rosalie said quietly as she glanced at the girls. They'd both fallen asleep in the beanbags. "You seem like a really nice girl, and Edward is…complicated."

"Meaning…"

Rosalie sighed. "Look, he's my brother-in-law, and I've seen the absolute hell he's put our family through over the past ten years. Edward doesn't tend to stay in one place too long. I'm actually surprised he's still here, and I'm betting that you have something to do with that. But he'll leave. He always leaves. And when he leaves, he tends to forget the way home. I would just hate to see you get your heart broken."

"So that's why you wanted to meet me? To warn me?"

"Not entirely," Rosalie said. "The girls _really_ did want to see you, but I have to admit that I was a bit intrigued about you. Emmett says that Edward is crazy about you, which is miraculous considering all he's ever really cared about is his guitar."

_Edward talks to his brother about me?_

"I know that this is none of my business, Bella. I just know how Edward operates, and I'd really hate to see you get hurt."

"You don't even know me. Why do you care?"

"I care because I know Edward. Just be careful, okay?"

I nodded thoughtfully as she struggled to get out of the booth.

"I'm going to go wake the girls. Just think about what I said."

The rest of the afternoon passed slowly, no thanks to the fact that I had too much to think about, and not enough to keep me physically occupied. Business was slower than ever, and I decided to depress myself even further by checking the weekly sales report. A quick glance at the report was all I needed to remind me that both my professional and personal lives were shit, and I quickly turned off the computer.

I heard the door chime, and I excitedly jumped up from my desk, happy to actually have a customer. I rounded the corner and stopped abruptly when I noticed my dad standing at the register, looking pissed as hell. I noticed he was holding a long envelope.

"Dad?"

"Hey, Bells," Charlie mumbled.

"What's up?"

While Charlie was a good dad, it was really rare to see him in the store.

"A lot, apparently," He muttered as he dropped the envelope to the counter. I eyed it suspiciously and noticed the local bank's logo on the front. "Why didn't you tell me?"

My eyes widened as I attempted to understand his murderous glare.

"Tell you what?"

"You've defaulted on your business loan, Bella."

I gripped the counter for support as overwhelming nausea coursed through me.

"I haven't… _defaulted…_" I whispered shakily. "I'm just a couple of months behind."

"_Three_ months behind," Charlie corrected me. "You are now three months behind, and yes, you have now defaulted."

With trembling hands, I opened the envelope. My eyes quickly scanned the page.

**Notice of Default**

"Oh, God."

"My deputy was on his way to serve some notices when he saw your name on one of the envelopes. He thought it might be easier coming from me. Why didn't you tell me, Bella? I could have helped."

The sadness in Charlie's voice only intensified my need to vomit. Instead of answering his question, I struggled to make sense of the legal lingo on the page.

"You have thirty days to respond before the bank forecloses," Charlie explained softly.

"Respond?"

"To pay in full," Charlie clarified.

_Thirty days_? I had one month to come up with _three _months-worth of payments?

"What happens if I can't?"

"Then the bank forecloses, and your bookstore will be sold at public auction."

"Oh my God." I whimpered, just as my legs gave out, and I fell onto the floor. I pulled my knees against my chest and wrapped my arms around them. Charlie rushed behind the counter and kneeled beside me.

"Shh…" he whispered as he took the papers out of my hand. In an unusual display of fatherly affection, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "We do have some options, Bella."

"We do?"

"Yeah," Charlie replied as he rocked me softly. "I'm guessing there's no way you can come up with three months of payments."

"I can't even come up with one month," I sniffled.

"So they'll foreclose," Charlie mumbled, and my body shook violently. He pulled me tighter against his side. "The good news is that the auction won't be for ninety days, and up until eleven days before the sale, you can stop the foreclosure by paying the past due payments. It'll give us some time."

"How do you know so much about this stuff?"

"I've served an awful lot of foreclosure notices this past year, Bella," Charlie sighed sadly.

My father continued to hold me while I cried. This store was everything I'd ever wanted, and I'd been determined to do it all on my own. _My_ bookstore. _My_ bank loan. _My_ mortgage payments. I hadn't told my father that I was behind on my payments because I knew he would insist on helping, and I didn't want anyone's help.

And now, my stupid pride was going to cost me my store.

* * *

EPOV

"I'm happy to see that Newton's Diner hasn't fallen prey to that whole health craze trend," I mumbled as I bit into my greasy burger. I could literally feel my arteries clog with each bite.

Emmett chuckled as he devoured his chili cheese fries. "Me, too! I swear if Rose doesn't stop _grilling_ my chicken…" He said something else, but his words were garbled and incoherent as he stuffed his face.

"So, the contract…" Emmett managed to verbalize. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm turning it down," I replied firmly.

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

He placed his fork on the plate and continued chewing, his eyes never leaving mine. His face searched mine for so long that I finally sighed and returned to my artery-clogging lunch. I felt Emmett's eyes linger on me as I played with my fries.

"It's that girl!" He finally whispered, his face a mask of astonishment. "You're staying because of that girl!"

"That girl's name is Bella."

"I know her name," Emmett mumbled. "Let me see if I understand. You are turning down guaranteed albums, a guaranteed tour, and guaranteed income…for this girl?"

"For _Bella_," I emphasized. "And yes, I am."

Sufficiently stunned, Emmett leaned back against his chair. "Holy shit."

"Not _just _for Bella," I amended. "I mean, I've missed my family. I love the twins, and there's going to be a new baby. I don't want to miss that." My voice trailed off as I realized just how much I'd really missed home. "It's time for me to grow up, Em. I need to just be normal for once – with a normal job and a normal life. Maybe even a house…"

"Normal life," Emmett whispered with disbelief. "And maybe a house?"

"Yes," I said as I played with my napkin.

"But the tour is just three months," Emmett mumbled. "You couldn't go tour for three months, stash some cash, and then come home?"

"I could…"

"We'll all still be here in three months," Emmett said. "The baby isn't due until then, you might not miss it."

"True," I mumbled.

Emmett smirked as he picked up his fork. "So, using your family as an excuse is bullshit. You're staying because of that girl."

"Bella."

Emmett grinned as he grabbed his fork once again. "I can't believe it. There's actually a girl on this planet who has managed to tame Edward Cullen."

I glared in his direction as he happily shoveled the remainder of his chili cheese fries into his mouth. I watched with mortified fascination before muttering, "Were you always this much of a pig?"

Emmett grunted as he reached for his milkshake. "Who sat across from you at the dinner table for eighteen years? You _know_ this."

The only reason we were eating lunch in this diner was because Emmett had threatened to cut my balls off if I forced him to eat at Subway or McDonald's. I hated this place. It was always too loud and too busy, and it didn't help matters that Mike Newton was standing behind the bar, barking orders like he owned the place.

_Come to think of it, he does._

"He's an ass," I muttered as I stabbed at my fries.

"Who?" Emmett glanced over his shoulder. "Mike Newton? Yeah, he always was. And speaking of assholes…"

The empty seat at our table was suddenly occupied by a smiling Jacob Black.

"Even you can't piss me off today," Jacob smirked in Emmett's direction. The waitress came by and deposited our bill on the table.

"By all means, have a seat," I grumbled as I pushed my plate away.

Lunch was officially over. I grabbed the bill and reached for my wallet.

Jacob laughed as he snaked the bill out from under my fingers. "I am in such a good mood, boys. Lunch is on me."

Emmett grunted as he polished off the rest of his burger. "What the hell has you in such a chipper mood? Run over someone's dog?"

"Better," Jacob grinned. "Rumor has it that I am _this_ close to getting my hands on a sweet piece of real estate."

"Ahh," Emmett snarled. "Once again Jacob Black is going to prey upon the honest, hard-working folks in this town and steal their home out from under them."

"I do not _steal_," Jacob argued. "Those honest, hard-working folks didn't make their payments. Not my problem." He glanced in my direction, his face erupting into a shit-eating grin. "I do hope you're saving your hard earned money, Edward."

"What are you talking about?"

"Have you spoken with your boss today?"

My fists clenched. The bastard was lucky he hadn't said her name.

"Just spit it out, Black," Emmett growled. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Jacob's smile was frozen on his face as he continued to stare at me. "I hear that the bank is threatening to foreclose on her."

I chuckled darkly. "Well, you heard wrong. Her father bought her that house."

"Not the house," Jacob smirked as he grabbed the bill and rose from his seat. "Have a good day, boys."

My blood ran cold as Emmett's eyes flashed to mine.

_Not the house._

* * *

"Damn it!" I growled as I saw the _Closed _sign displayed inside the bookstore window. I had a key, but a quick glance around the parking lot told me that she wasn't here. I tried her cell, but it went immediately to voice mail.

I sped toward her house, my hands clenched tightly around the steering wheel as I disobeyed every speed limit sign in my periphery. The first time I applied the brake was when I was parked just outside of her house.

Her car wasn't in the driveway.

I slammed my fists against the steering wheel. Where the hell could she be? I was just turning around to go back to the bookstore when my cell vibrated. I didn't even bother to look at the caller ID.

"Bella?" I answered breathlessly.

"Edward, you need to come home," my mother's voice was just a whisper. I could hear the faint sound of crying in the background, and it was the most heartbreaking sound I'd ever heard.

"Bella…" I whispered.

"She's here," Esme murmured. "It's bad, Edward. It's so bad…"

Ten minutes later, I was running toward the porch of the house when I noticed Rosalie waiting at the top step, her hands on her hips.

"What the hell did you do to her?"

I raced up the steps, but Rose took a step back, effectively blocking the door. I narrowed my eyes in fury. This was my brother's wife. She was the mother of my nieces and that unborn baby.

Those were the _only_ reasons she was still standing in my way.

"I don't have time for your shit, Rosalie. Get out of the way!"

Rose was standing her ground. "She's a nice girl, Edward! She's really a nice girl. What the hell did you do to her?"

"I didn't do anything!" I snarled. "Get out of my way!"

"Rose," my mother's soft voice was coaxing from just inside the door. "Sweetheart, let him go to her."

"He's obviously broken her heart!" Rosalie argued, her eyes fiery as she stared at me. "I knew you would. I tried to warn her!"

I clenched my jaw as the rage threatened to consume me.

"Rose," my mother whispered firmly. "Move."

Rose shot me another icy glare before moving to the side.

"She's in your room," Mom murmured as I raced through the door, and I took the stairs two at a time before pushing open my bedroom door.

There, nestled under my blanket, was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was sleeping soundly, curled into a ball, and I felt my body relax as I made my way to the other side of the bed. Never taking my eyes off her, I removed my jacket and my shoes before climbing under the covers. Gently, I pulled her against my chest, and she sighed softly as her arm encircled my waist. I nuzzled her hair and wiped the moisture away from her cheeks, still wet with her tears.

"She must have cried herself to sleep," my mother whispered from the door. I closed my eyes as I pulled her closer to my body. I felt Bella relax against me as she snoozed softly. Mom didn't bother closing the door before walking away.

I laid there for hours, holding her and listening to her peaceful snores, as I considered my options. The daylight turned to dusk, and I was grateful that she seemed to be sleeping so soundly. It was close to midnight when my father and mother made their way back into the room, carrying a tray of food. They placed it on the bedside table before kneeling close to the bed.

"You should eat, son."

I shook my head slowly, desperately trying to be still so that I didn't wake her.

"She came here looking for you," Mom whispered softly as she stroked Bella's hair. "She was going to wait for you in the meadow, but I couldn't let her go there alone. She was just too upset."

"The bank…" I murmured softly.

"I know," Esme nodded. "She told us all about it."

"We will be more than happy to help her," Carlisle assured me.

"_I_ will help her," I murmured with finality as I kissed the top of her head. I ignored the pointed glances between my parents and the look of pride that I saw in my father's eyes as I held Bella close to me.

"Edward," my father said, "I'm not sure you understand how much money is involved here. Bella is very special to your mother, and obviously to you. We would be honored to help her."

My parents backed away as I pressed another kiss to her forehead and carefully climbed out of the bed. Bella whimpered softly as I placed her head against the pillow, and I stroked her face with my fingertips until her body relaxed and the air was filled with her soft snores once again. I tucked the blanket around her before leading my parents out into the hallway.

"I appreciate the offer, but I'll take care of her."

"Edward, it's wonderful that you want to do this," Esme murmured, "but it's a lot of money. She only has thirty days before the bank forecloses."

"And then what happens?"

"In ninety days, the bookstore will be auctioned."

"Yes," Carlisle continued, "_but _if she can pay the past due amounts eleven days prior to the auction, she can stop the foreclosure."

"So, really, we have three months," I concluded.

"Essentially, yes."

_Three months. Three months away from family. Three months away from her. Three months to save the one thing in this life that makes her happy._

The answer was ridiculously easy.

I looked at my father, and his eyes widened as his face flickered with understanding.

"Edward," my father cautioned me, "don't make this decision tonight. Wait until you've had some sleep, and we'll discuss this in the morning."

"What decision?" Esme's faced snapped between mine and my father's. "What's going on?"

"There is nothing to discuss," I said, standing firm. "I love her, and I will take care of her."

My parents gasped in unison.

"Oh, Edward…" she whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "I'm going out to the porch. I have a phone call to make."

Suddenly, my mother was frantic. "I want to know what is going on right this minute! Who are you calling?"

I nodded toward my father. "He can explain it to you."

"Edward," my father whispered gently, but I ignored him as I made my way down the stairs and out onto the porch. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. I didn't care that it was midnight in Seattle. I didn't care that she was probably fast asleep. She was going to have to get used to long hours and my moody ass.

To my surprise, she answered on the first ring.

"Jane Hanson."

I took a deep breath.

"This is Edward Cullen," I whispered solemnly, "and I need a manager."

* * *

**I found the Washington state Foreclosure Laws on Google. I have no idea if the process is the same in every state.**

**So, in my last chapter, I said I wasn't a fan of selfless love and pushing each other away. This decision of Edward's **_**is **_**an act of selfless love, but they will not push each other away. **

**And don't worry. My Edward will never cheat.**

**Let me know what you think! :)**


	11. My Sacrifice

**AN: As always, thanks to snarkerella for finding my mistakes and helping everything flow so much better.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns the characters, and the chapter title is by Creed.**

* * *

Chapter 11

_My Sacrifice_

EPOV

"We can most certainly go next weekend," Carlisle said as my mom poured the juice.

Mom had made a big breakfast of pancakes and bacon, but none of us were really in the mood to eat. It had been a long night for everyone. Thankfully, Bella was still sleeping soundly upstairs.

"Absolutely not," I replied. "She would be devastated if she found out that you changed your plans for her. You've been looking forward to this trip for weeks. Please go."

My mother pursed her lips but stayed silent as she sat down beside me. We all pretended to eat our breakfast, and from time-to-time, I would catch my mother staring at me – a look of wonder and pride etched across her face. Honestly, it was making me a little uneasy.

"I wish you'd stop looking at me like that," I muttered as I stuffed my face with bacon.

"Like what?" She asked innocently, but her eyes twinkled with happiness.

My father chuckled. "Son, I don't think you understand. I'm pretty sure your mother has been praying for this for a while."

"Praying for what?"

"Praying that you'd find a reason to stay," he whispered softly. "A reason to settle down. The fact that Bella is the reason is just icing on the cake."

"But I'm not staying," I mumbled.

"But you're _not_ staying for all of the right reasons," Esme murmured proudly. "What you're doing for Bella…"

"I would do anything for Bella," I whispered forcefully.

I watched in astonishment as my mother burst into tears. It wasn't the first time. The woman's eyes welled up with tears anytime I mentioned Bella's name. My eyes flashed to my father, who was biting his lip to keep from laughing.

I rolled my eyes and finished my breakfast.

Last night, while I had been making plans with Jane, my father had told my mom everything about the contract. She couldn't believe that I'd found it so easy to turn down, but my little revelation on the stairs seemed to convince her that I was serious about signing this deal, doing my three month tour of duty, and coming home to stay.

"You make it sound like you're going off to war," my mother had commented.

Truthfully, that's exactly how it felt.

My greatest fears in signing the contract were the temptations of the road. Would I be able to control myself? Could I endure the loneliness without succumbing to my demons?

I didn't have concrete answers to any of those questions, which is why it had been so easy to say no.

But now – with the prospect of Bella losing her bookstore – I knew that I could survive it. I _would_ survive it.

I would do it for her.

It would have been easy to accept the help of my parents. If I'd agreed, they would have written me a check on the spot. I appreciated the offer, and if this blew up in my face, I'd gladly accept it, but I had an opportunity to do something important. I could save her bookstore, buy that plot of land, build a house, and finally settle down.

I would use Eclipse Records to make all of those dreams come true, and as soon as my contract was fulfilled – just as so many other record labels had deserted me – I would thank them and give it all up for the chance at a normal life with the woman I love.

I wasn't being a martyr. I was taking care of my girl.

Big difference.

I knew it was a huge risk. I was making assumptions when I had no real comprehension of Bella's true feelings for me, but I knew how I felt about her.

I had to try.

Esme was drying her eyes as I swallowed the rest of my juice.

"Please take his woman to Tacoma," I begged my father. He nodded as I leaned over and kissed my mom's cheek. "Thank you for breakfast, thank you for loving her, and thank you for understanding that this is something that I need to do."

"We could help you, and then you wouldn't have to go," Esme sniffled into her tissue. "You shouldn't have to make this choice. You don't want to leave her."

I smiled softly into my mother's sweet face. It was so easy to see why father adored her so much. "You're right. The mere thought of leaving her is killing me, but don't you understand? I need to take care of her – and not just because I am in love with her – but because, one day, I hope to feel like I might actually _deserve_ her." I lowered my head in shame. "You know how I've lived my life. You know she's too good for me, but I want to be good enough for her. I want to deserve to have her in my life – in whatever capacity she allows. Can't you understand?"

I watched as my mother's face contorted, as she tried to keep from bursting into tears once again.

"I promise I'll come home," I assured her as I kissed her temple.

That was all it took, and my sweet mother erupted into tears once again.

I chuckled lightly before kissing her on the cheek. "I'm going back to bed. Have a good trip."

* * *

BPOV

I awoke abruptly, disoriented and entirely too warm. My clothes were uncomfortable, and I ran my hand along my clothes.

_How strange. I never sleep in my jeans. _

My head ached and my throat was sore, as if I'd spent the last twenty-four hours screaming and crying. I opened my eyes in the dim sunlight of the bedroom and tried to focus on my surroundings.

_Where am I?_

I attempted to rise from the bed, but strong, loving arms tightened around me. I was in a strange bedroom, in a strange bed, wrapped in strange arms. These details should have frightened me, but instead, my body was flooded with warmth and my heart was filled with emotion as I felt truly at home for the first time in so very long. That sense of calm allowed me to comprehend that I was in Edward's bedroom, and it was his arms that were holding me against his chest.

He was snoring lightly in my ear, and the sweet, gentle rhythm was as soothing as the softest lullaby. He'd held me before, of course. Our touches had always been combined with frantic kissing, and I was ashamed that I'd never allowed myself to truly enjoy the feel of his arms embracing me, and the solace his touch brought to every inch of my skin.

Despite my lingering sadness, I sighed contently as I melted against his body. I tried to focus on the rhythm of his heartbeat as it beat against me. I wanted to lose myself in his touch and his smell and in the absolute love that I felt for this man. I wanted to concentrate on all of those things – those things that that were wonderful and _right_ – but instead, my thoughts drifted to my bookstore, and with that came the painful acceptance that I'd done everything wrong.

Growing up, I had always loved to lose myself in bookstores. The smaller the store, the happier I was to bury myself within its holy aisles. I could sit for hours, reading my favorites – the same favorites that were nestled with love on my bookshelf in my bedroom. There was just something about reading those classics within the walls of a bookstore – with the smells and the soft sounds surrounding me – that always made me feel at home. I had always wanted to recreate that feeling…to offer someone that same happiness.

But the sad reality was that those quaint little bookstores that I'd loved so much as a child were nestled in a thriving college town. Gainesville had its share of big-chain bookstores. _Book Superstores_, they called them, but those stores always seemed impersonal to me. On the weekends, my mother and I scoured the city, looking for tiny, cozy bookstores that didn't cater to the masses. Inevitably, we'd always find one, and I would fall in love when I walked through the doors as the scent of old books flooded my senses.

After mom passed away, I'd wanted to honor her – to secure a connection to her and my memories from my childhood. Moving to Forks and eventually opening a bookstore of my own seemed the perfect solution. The closest bookstore to this town was over an hour away.

This town _needed_ my bookstore.

For the first six months after opening _Turn the Page_, I was confident that I'd been right. The community welcomed the new business, and the fact that I was the beloved sheriff's daughter just made it that much sweeter. For the most part, people in small towns are loyal and friendly and welcoming. I loved them, and they loved my store. No one _vacations_ in Forks, but we are a nice, brief stop along the way. My bookstore became a regional hotspot and tourists would stop by on their way to their destinations. For the first six months, sales were staggering, and it was all just a little too easy. My initial success made me confident, and I sunk money into renovating the store and expanding to include a music section and the café. It was around that time that the economy took a nosedive, and I never got the chance to see the fruits of my labor. Ultimately, the expansion brought me little financial gain and made a massive dent in my bank account. Late notices started arriving from the bank, but none had seemed too threatening. Just friendly reminders stating the obvious fact that I was behind on my monthly payment. I kept in touch with my loan officer – a man by the name of Eric Yorkie. Little did I know that Eric was best friends with Jacob Black.

That was when the rumors started.

Customers would stop by the store offering their sympathy and support, and I would have absolutely no idea what they were talking about. Esme was the one who finally approached me with the gossip surrounding the future of my store, and I had never been more pissed in my entire life.

Jacob Black was telling everyone within earshot that my store was going out of business, and he would be more than happy to take it off my hands.

At first, his little plan had backfired. My sweet customers would drop by everyday. They never spent much money because, truthfully, they didn't have it to spend, but they'd buy something to drink, or a newspaper, or a magazine – anything to generate some income for the store. For a while, it was just enough to sustain, but never enough to pull me out of the slump I'd created for myself.

I'd been so naïve. What did I know about owning a business? I wasn't business savvy; I was just an English major who loved to read. I was no match for Jacob Black, that was for sure, but I held firm and resisted his multiple offers to buy. I'd seen the demolitions that he and his machinery had caused around town, and I had refused to let my dream become rubble under the power of his bulldozer.

In hindsight, I probably should have just taken his money.

I began to shiver uncontrollably as the anxiety of the situation threatened to overtake me.

"Shh…" Edward whispered in my ear, as his arms tightened around me. "I've got you, sweetheart. Everything is going to be okay."

I turned over, and my arms reached for him as we laid nose-to-nose. His bright green eyes looked so tired, and I wondered if he'd slept at all last night.

"I'm sorry I took your bed."

Edward leaned close and kissed the tip of my nose.

"I'm not. I could get used to waking up with you every morning."

I smiled shyly as he brushed a lock of hair away from my face.

"Are you hungry at all?"

I shook my head despite the rumbling of my stomach. "I'm not sure I could eat just yet."

"Mom made pancakes and bacon," he grinned. "We had breakfast, and they should be on their way to Tacoma."

"Antique shopping," I nodded. "She told me about that."

"I'm assuming they told you everything?" I whispered.

Edward nodded. "They didn't want to leave you. We had a long talk this morning, and I finally convinced them to go."

"I'm glad," I said. There was absolutely no reason for Esme and Carlisle to change their plans just because my bad decisions had finally caught up with me.

"Hey," Edward murmured gently as his finger traced my face. "Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Stop thinking whatever it is that's causing that expression on your face. It breaks my heart to see you so sad. Everything is going to be okay, Bella. I promise you."

He kissed me then – a sweet, innocent brushing of the lips that caused my toes to curl.

Edward pulled away, his emerald eyes glowing as he stared at me. We laid there, wrapped in each other's embrace and gazing into each other's eyes, and I knew – deep down in my heart – that I should feel sad. I should feel angry. I should feel frustrated and scared, but, in _that_ moment, I didn't feel any of those things. In _that_ moment, I felt safe and secured and loved.

"Now what are you thinking?" Edward murmured.

"I'm thinking that I love kissing you," I replied softly. I couldn't admit the whole truth.

Edward's eyes flickered with some emotion that I couldn't place before leaning close and kissing me once again – still tender and reverent.

"Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?" Edward murmured. I gasped softly as his lips continued their sweet assault against mine. "Do you have any idea how much I want to take care of you?"

"You _are_ taking care of me," I whispered against his mouth. This time, I was the one who pulled away. He sighed softly and his eyes closed as I trailed my finger along his chiseled jaw. "You make me feel safe. You always have."

Edward sighed as he pulled me closer. We'd been much closer than this during our heavy make-out sessions at my house, but this was different.

This was intimate. This was real.

Our legs tangled as I buried my nose against his chest, allowing his sweet scent to ground me. His hands made their way into my hair, and I hummed in contentment as he slowly ran his fingers through the tangles that always greeted me after a fitful night of sleep.

"Bella, we need to talk."

My heart clenched painfully at the sound of those words. I stared into the deep pools of his green eyes, and I was frightened by the internal battle I saw raging within them.

_Oh, God. He's pushing me away. _

I was losing so much already. My heart would never survive it if I lost him, too.

I gripped his shirt and closed my eyes. I wanted to forget everything that was making me sad. Forget everything that was making me scared.

_Please make me forget._

I raised my face toward his. He was still staring down at me – his face concentrated and pained. I brought my fingers to his lip and traced the outline of his mouth. His face relaxed, and his lips parted before he placed a soft kiss along my fingertip. I continued stroking his face, my finger making a trail around his jaw, up along his cheek, and finally, along the shell of his ear. His breath quickened as my finger ghosted along his earlobe and down along the side of his neck.

"Bella..." he whispered breathlessly. "I have to tell you something..."

_Please make me forget._

_Please love me._

I was emotional and tired and I was so sick of talking.

I ran my fingers through his hair and boldly pulled his mouth toward mine. He groaned when our lips met, and I couldn't keep from whimpering when his arms tightened around me, pressing our hips closer. He rolled us over, his mouth never leaving mine as he hovered over me, pushing me down into the mattress and pulling me tighter against him at the same time. His tongue caressed mine as his hand made its way under my blouse.

"I need to feel you…all of you…" Edward panted against my lips. "Please let me feel you."

"Yes," I whispered frantically, and he rolled onto his back, pulling me with him until I was straddling him. Edward's hands held onto my hips as I rose above him, his eyes never leaving me as I pulled my t-shirt over my head and tossed it onto the floor. He gazed at me with ravenous eyes as I lowered one strap and then the other before slowly unhooking my bra. It fell away from my body as his hands trailed across my stomach. Swiftly, he wrapped his arms around my bare back as he rose from the mattress, his nose brushing against mine as he held me tight in his lap. Edward raised his arms over his head, and I smiled deviously as I pulled his shirt over his head, depositing it on the floor along with my clothes. Desire flared within me as he wrapped his strong arms around me once again and pulled me flush against his body.

His skin against mine was the single most erotic moment of my life.

"You have no idea what you do to me," Edward whispered, breathless as he pressed his forehead against mine. His hands ghosted softly across my bare back in a soothing, rhythmic motion as I clung to him, desperate yet so afraid to beg for more.

Luckily, I didn't have to beg.

"More," Edward panted urgently against my lips. "I need more."

Carefully, he laid me back against the mattress once again, and I whimpered as he rose above me, his fingers fumbling with the button of my jeans. The denim, along with my panties, slid down my legs and joined the heap of clothing littering the floor of Edward's bedroom. I climbed onto my knees and returned the favor, removing the last of the barriers that separated his body from mine.

"So beautiful," he whispered adoringly, and he leaned forward, burying his face in my neck as he enveloped me in his arms. I placed my elbows on his shoulders and ran my fingers through his hair, tugging gently on the ends. He groaned low against my ear and the sound vibrated straight through me. It was electrifying and caused an unfamiliar ache to rage within me. I groaned uncontrollably as his mouth crashed against mine and his body pushed me back against the bed.

Our make-out sessions had never escalated to this point, and I couldn't help but feel that there was a desperate quality to his kisses and his touches. It was as if he couldn't get close enough, couldn't hold me tight enough…and a tiny portion of my head whispered to my heart that something was wrong.

That was the last of my coherent thoughts, because suddenly his hand was creeping lower. Touching. Exploring. Teasing…

"Edward, please…" I panted against his neck.

I had no idea what I needed. No idea what I was begging for, but he knew, and his touch was like fire against my skin. His mouth tore away from mine as his hot breath trailed across my ear.

"Let go, my sweet girl."

And with those words, I came undone beneath him.

* * *

I was sitting in his lap again, his nose nuzzling mine as our hands roamed along each other's bare backs. My head rested against his shoulder as I trailed my fingernails along his spine.

"I want to make you feel good, too," I whispered.

He pressed a kiss to my forehead. "This morning is just for you, sweetheart. We have all weekend, remember?"

I closed my eyes and sighed contently as he held me against his body.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"How many other guys have ever touched you that way?"

My eyes snapped open. Could he tell how inexperienced I was? Would he be disappointed?

"None."

"None?"

"Only you."

I watched as a small smile crept across his face.

"Only me," Edward whispered, his voice laced with quiet awe. "I'll be your first?"

"If you want to be."

He pulled my face toward his and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth. His nose glided against my cheek.

"I want to be your first…and your last," Edward whispered against my cheek.

My heart skipped a beat. "Really?"

He leaned back so that he could look into my eyes. "Really. The thought of any other man putting his hands on you sends me into a murderous rage."

"I was beginning to think you didn't want me," I admitted softly.

"Why would you ever think that?"

"Because you never tried."

Edward closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When his eyes opened again, they were brimming with sadness. "The reason I never tried is because I wasn't sure that I could control myself."

"I don't want you to control yourself," I pouted, prompting Edward to chuckle and tighten his arms around me.

"We should probably talk about why I feel the need to do that. I can't promise that it will be a fun conversation." His beautiful face turned into a frown, and I traced my finger along the bridge of his nose. "There are some things I need to tell you about my past, and then, I need to tell you some things about the future."

All of that sounded very heavy and deep, and I wasn't quite sure I could handle that type of conversation along with everything else that was happening, but his face was resigned and determined, and if he was finally ready to talk, then I needed to be ready to listen.

"I'm sorry that I made you think that I didn't want you," he said as he gazed into my eyes. "I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone in my entire life. Please believe that."

He waited until I nodded before he continued.

"Bella, I wish I could say that you would be my first, too. But that's not true. I'm not going to give you graphic details, because God knows if the situation were reversed, I sure as hell wouldn't want to hear about the men in your past. What you need to know is that I've had sex with a lot of women. Some were actual relationships, some were complete strangers, and I wasn't always careful."

Jealousy surged through me, and I swallowed nervously as he continued.

"This isn't something I'm proud of. I was a young man who was thrown into the spotlight. The record company tossed me in a pool full of cash and women, and no one bothered to show me how to swim. I was a puppet on a string. When they sent me out on tour, I became addicted to cocaine and one night stands. Those were the only things that kept me company. I missed my family, but I was too ashamed to come home. The few actual relationships I had with women weren't really relationships at all. It was just one person trying to fill a void in the other."

He bowed his head in shame, but I refused to let him torture himself. I placed my hands along his cheeks and lifted his face to mine.

"That's not you anymore. You were lost."

"I was," Edward murmured dejectedly. "I was so lost, Bella. But that doesn't excuse my behavior. I was reckless and stupid, and that's why I kept pulling away when things would get too heated between us."

"I still don't understand," I admitted softly. "What does your past have to do with not having sex with me?"

Edward frowned sadly. "Bella, I rarely used condoms."

And suddenly, I understood.

"Oh."

"Yeah," he breathed, his face searching mine. "I have no reason to suspect anything is wrong, but until I see a doctor, I just can't take that kind of risk with you. I _won't _take that kind of risk, no matter how much I want to make love to you."

The intensity of his protectiveness made me tremble.

"Cold?" Edward asked as he pulled the blanket around us.

I just smiled as he positioned his blanket around our shoulders, and I snuggled against his chest. He kissed the top of my head.

"Ready to run yet?"

"Never."

His arms tightened around me, and I looked up. His eyes were blazing with a look so tender that I nearly launched myself at him. But he wanted to talk, so I had to be good.

"Anyway," Edward whispered gently as he rocked me in his arms. "I'm headed to Seattle in a few days, and I'm hoping Alice can refer me to a good doctor. I'll need to get a physical anyway."

"You're going to Seattle?"

"Yes. That's something else I want to talk to you about." He sighed softly as he brought his forehead to rest against mine. "I spoke with Ben Cheney about the record deal, and he says it looks good."

"Edward, that's great! You promised me you'd consider their offer if it was a good deal."

"I did promise that," Edward whispered, "and I have considered it."

I bit my lip nervously. I loved him enough that I wanted him to have this opportunity. I also loved him enough to know that the separation might just kill me.

"I won't lie to you," Edward murmured softly as he pressed a kiss to my cheek, "but I'm going to ask that you hear me out. Let me finish before you get all pissy, okay?"

This surprised me.

"Why would I get pissy?"

Edward sighed. "Because you're independent and strong and the bravest woman I've ever met."

"Oh…"

_Are these bad things?_

"Just promise you'll hear me out."

"I promise," I said.

Edward tightened his arms around my waist. "I have an appointment in Seattle with a woman named Jane Hanson. She manages musical acts – mostly small, independent musicians. I'm going to meet with her and fine-tune a few of the items in that contract, and then I'm going to sign it."

I smiled happily. "I'm glad! I mean, I'll miss you so much, but it's okay. We can handle it, right? It's just three months."

Inside, I was honestly dying a little, but I refused to let him see that. This was an amazing opportunity for him, and I wanted to encourage it.

"Bella, I don't want there to be any secrets between us," Edward said. "Up until last night, I had no intention of taking this deal – whether it was good or not."

"Why not?"

"Because of all of the reasons I just told you. The loneliness. The women. The drugs. I didn't know if I could handle the temptations that are bound to find me once I'm away from home."

"But you're different now."

"I am," Edward agreed, "but I'm happy here. I'm with my family, and I've met you. I'm truly content for the first time in a very long time, and I'm not eager to jeopardize that happiness."

"So what changed your mind?"

Edward gazed down at me with sweet, adoring eyes.

"There's an advance involved when I sign," he explained softly. "It's not a lot of money, but it's more than enough to get the bank off your back. Once I complete my contract, you can buy the store and you'll never have to worry about any of this ever again."

My eyes widened with shock.

"Wait! Are you taking this deal for me? To save my bookstore?"

Edward watched my face before mumbling, "That isn't the only reason…"

"You're a lousy liar," I snapped.

Edward sighed uneasily as he tightened his grip on my waist. "You promised not to get pissy, remember? I could have lied to you, Bella. I could have said that I wanted to sign this deal, and you never would have known the difference. I'm trying to do the responsible, mature thing for the first time in my life. I'm trying to be honest about everything."

"You don't even want to go!"

"Of course I don't want to go!" Edward shouted right back. "It scares the hell out of me to even consider going! I am scared to death that I'm not strong enough, or that I'll suck and get booed off stage, or I'll get so damn lonely that I'll do something completely stupid, because honestly, that's how I am. For the past decade I have screwed up everything I've touched because I was weak and irresponsible."

"See? All the more reason not to go! You are not putting yourself through that because of me!"

Swiftly, I climbed out of his lap, taking the blanket and wrapping it around me as I made my way to the window. The hardwood was cold against my bare feet, but I needed some space. I wiped my angry tears away as I gazed out into the gloomy sky.

He had absolutely no right to take on this responsibility. My store was not his responsibility. _I_ was not his responsibility. I would rather watch Jacob Black bulldoze my store to the ground than to have Edward be miserable for three months just so that he could be my knight in shining armor.

"Bella.."

His chest was barely brushing my back, and I resisted the urge to lean back against him.

"I know you don't need me to take care of you," Edward whispered as his hand ghosted through my hair. "I know you're proud and strong, and you don't need me to play the hero."

I felt his hands lower the blanket, exposing my shoulders to the chilly bedroom air. He stepped closer and brushed my hair to the side, placing a soft kiss against my shoulder.

I closed my eyes as warmth flooded my body.

"As scared as I am about going out on the road, I also want to believe that I have a reason to resist whatever temptations I may face. I want to believe that I have a reason, for the first time in my life, to be truly selfless. I want to believe that I have a reason to use whatever talent I may have to actually do something good in this world."

His arms encircled my waist as he gently pulled me back against his chest.

"I want to believe that I have a reason to come home," he murmured against my ear.

"You do have a reason. Your family is here, and they love you."

"And I love them, but they aren't the reason."

Slowly, he turned me around in his arms and placed his hand along the edge of my chin. He lifted it gently, forcing me to look at him. His eyes were wide and penetrating as he gazed down at me.

"I want to show you something," Edward murmured softly. "Will you come with me?"

He was looking at me with that handsome face and those gorgeous eyes, and it was physically impossible to refuse him. I loved this man, and I would follow him anywhere.

**Wonder where he's taking her? :)**


	12. Echoes and Silence, Patience and Grace

**Chapter title comes from "Home" by Foo Fighters.**

**Chapter 12**

_**Echoes and Silence, Patience and Grace**_

* * *

**BPOV**

Silence engulfed the car as we made our way through town. I was still seething, unbelieving that Edward would make such a huge decision just to save my bookstore. I didn't deserve the sacrifice he was willing to make for me, especially when I knew how frightened he was to live the life of a musician once again. I'd suspected that over-indulgence in drugs and women had played a role in his stagnant career. Those stories were so sadly typical in the music business, and I had been afraid that his talent had been overshadowed by his demons. To have those fears confirmed was just unnerving. Yet, here he was - so eager to thrust himself back into the spotlight – just to save me.

I was curious when he turned the car onto Fern Hill and made his way down the two-lane road. He gave nothing away – his mouth set in a hard line as he squeezed my hand. To my right, I noticed a large area of land that seemed to be cleared and ready for building. It stretched as far as the eye could see, and I was surprised when Edward suddenly pulled onto the property and turned off the ignition.

"Why are we here?" I asked. Edward simply squeezed my hand once more before popping the trunk on the Volvo. We each climbed out of the car, and I watched as Edward walked around to the back. He pulled out the blanket that we always used in the meadow and walked to my side.

"I want to show you something," Edward said as offered his hand to me. Despite my fury, I couldn't ignore the magnetic pull that always drew me to him, and I laced my fingers with his as he pulled me toward the property.

We walked along the cleared land until Edward pointed over the ridge. A bubbling lake was roaring beneath us, and I gasped at the sight of the clear, gentle waves rushing over the rocks.

"It's so pretty," I whispered.

Edward just smiled as he turned me around and led me to each corner of the property. There were giant spruces wrapped around the vacant land, and I held his hand tightly as we made our way through the trees and back out onto the vacant earth. Suddenly, Edward stopped us and deposited the blanket onto the dusty ground. He sat down and gently pulled me with him, drawing my back close to his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. His breath was on my neck, and I couldn't help but sigh when he kissed my shoulder. We sat in silence, just looking out across the wide expanse.

"This is really beautiful."

"Do you think so?"

"I do," I nodded as I looked out across the cleared property. "It's so peaceful. Do you think someone's planning to build here? It would be a great place to build a house."

Edward stopped kissing the back of my neck, and I felt him grin against my skin. "What kind of house?"

"Hmm…" I pondered, closing my eyes and imagining the kind of house I'd choose for this place. "Something simple and homey. Something that actually belongs in the woods. Not a log cabin, but something rustic and brown."

"Brown?"

I nodded as I turned to see his face. "Brown is warm."

Edward gazed into my eyes for a few beats before nodding.

"You're right. Brown is very warm. What else?"

I turned back around and leaned against his chest as I considered the possibilities. "It should be two stories and have a wrap-around porch."

"With rocking chairs?" Edward asked softly.

"Of course. Can't you imagine sitting on the front porch and listening to the river?"

Edward nodded against my shoulder. "I have imagined it, yeah."

"It's really a beautiful piece of property," I murmured appreciatively. "Whose is it?"

Edward cleared his throat nervously.

"I want it to be ours."

Quickly, I turned around to face him. "Ours?"

He nodded gently. "See, that's another reason I'm signing this deal. I want to buy this piece of property and build a house here."

He wants to buy this land for _us_? He wants to build a house for _us_?

Edward swallowed nervously.

"Bella, I know that this all seems fast. I know we have a lot to learn about each other before we can even seriously contemplate this, and I know that I have to really get my shit together before I can even ask you for this kind of commitment." He raised his hand and brushed his fingers along my cheek. "But you need to know that this is how I'm feeling. I've never wanted to settle down. I never thought that I'd buy a piece of land right here in Forks and build a house here. I've never really wanted those things until now."

Tears welled in my eyes as he softly brushed his lips against mine.

"Bella, I can't imagine sitting on that front porch with anyone but you."

This man – this tender, sweet man who owned my whole heart – wanted to buy my bookstore for me. He wanted to build me a house. He wanted _me_.

Edward gently wiped away the tears that had finally trickled down my cheek.

"I love you. I am so in love with you, Bella. You are my best friend and the sweetest, kindest woman I've ever met in my entire life. I know that I don't deserve you, but I _want _to deserve you – if that's even possible. I want to protect you and love you, and I want to give you the world. Please let me try."

I blinked back my tears as I tried to focus on his face. He was looking at me with such passion…such adoration…such _love_, and it only made me cry that much harder. Here he was, pouring his heart out to me, and all I could do was cry.

"I love you, too…so much," I whispered tearfully. The smile that erupted on his face made my heart beat that much faster. "I don't need the world."

"You _deserve _the world," Edward murmured tenderly as he trailed his fingers across my tear-stained face.

"I don't want the world. I just want you."

My finger ghosted across his strong jaw as I watched his face soften beneath my touch.

"I'm yours," Edward replied simply. "You own me – heart and soul. Never doubt that. Now do you understand why I have to do this? It's so much bigger than just saving your store. I have the chance to build a life, and I want to build that life with you…if you'll have me. And I want to build it right here, on this patch of land, with our rocking chairs side-by-side on the front porch."

"But what if you regret the choice you're making. Even if it's just for a few months?"

Edward smiled as he studied my face.

"How could I possibly regret it if you'll be waiting for me when I come home?"

I lowered my head as his sweet words washed over me. "Don't you see? I want you to do this for _you_ – because you want the chance to live your dream. Not because you want to save my store and build me a house, and certainly not because you think that you have to prove something to me."

"Your bookstore was just the catalyst I needed to make this decision," Edward assured me as he brushed his lips against my forehead, "and I _am_ doing this so that I can live my dream."

"You are?"

"Yes. My dream has just changed, that's all."

"But music is your passion," I argued.

"I'm going to negotiate for a songwriting deal once my first contract is complete. I can write music anywhere." His eyes were brimming with emotion. "Besides, you're wrong."

"Wrong about what?"

Edward pulled my face close to his, and his sweet breath hindered my ability to think.

"_You_ are my passion," he whispered tenderly, his eyes burning with intensity.

He kissed me then, a sweet tender kiss that engulfed my senses and set my body on fire. My heart was filled with the deepest joy I had ever known. He loved me, and he was willing to sacrifice three months of his life to secure our future.

How could I repay such a gift?

Realization dawned that the only way I could even _begin_ to reciprocate, was to accept this monumentally sweet gesture, and completely support his desire to do this for _us_. Not for me. For _us_. I would support him and try to make our separation as easy as possible for the both of us. I would miss him desperately, and I didn't quite know how I'd survive three months without him. But if it meant that – at the end of the road – he could come home to me and we could start building our life together...

It seemed like a small sacrifice for me to make in comparison to everything he was giving me.

We spent the rest of the afternoon there on that blanket, just smiling at each other and making plans for the property. He asked me to come with him to Seattle, and because I wasn't eager to start practicing for our impending separation, I had agreed wholeheartedly.

"I just realized something," Edward grinned sheepishly. "We survived our first fight."

I giggled. "Actually, if you remember, we fought the very first time we met because you had the audacity to accuse me of being star-struck."

"That's right," Edward grinned, obviously amused. "I don't like fighting with you, but you're cute as hell when you get all flustered.

Ashamed, I buried my face against his chest.

"I'm sorry I got pissy today."

"I expected it," Edward smiled down at me before kissing me gently. "I knew I'd have a fight on my hands, but thank you for finally understanding."

I traced his lips with my fingertip. "Thank you for loving me."

His face melted into the sweetest smile. "Thank you for letting me."

We kissed until our quiet surroundings were suddenly interrupted by the growling of my stomach.

"I should feed you," Edward laughed against my lips. "Come on, sweet girl. Let's get home."

With a happy sigh, I took one last look around the property before Edward tugged me by the hand and pulled me toward the car.

* * *

It was the middle of the night and the bedroom was blanketed in darkness when I suddenly awoke from my peaceful sleep. I was lying on my stomach, and I could feel Edward's fingers softly stroking the bare skin along my back. His fingers made a trail up and down my spine, and I hummed with contentment.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Edward whispered.

I turned my head to face him, and when my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could see that he was lying against his pillow, his head turned toward me. He was staring at me with a look so sweet that it almost made me cry. His fingers never left their path along my spine.

"What's wrong?" I murmured gently.

"Nothing's wrong."

His hand made its way to my hair, and I sighed as his fingers gently slid through the strands.

I leaned up on my elbow and studied his handsome face. Despite that beauty, he looked troubled – the creases in his forehead a sure sign that something was on his mind.

"You're worried."

"I'm not worried," Edward said as his fingers stroked my face. "I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to make it for three whole months without touching you."

I had to hold it together and blink back the tears that were threatening to spill. I had to be strong. I had to reassure him that we could do this.

"Don't think about that right now," I said. "We have the rest of the weekend to ourselves, and then we're going to Seattle for two days. I don't want to take a second for granted."

"Neither do I."

Edward reached for me, and suddenly, he was on his back and I was hovering over him. I leaned down, allowing my hair to fall in a curtain around us as I kissed him softly. He moaned as I shifted against his hips, and I suddenly remembered that I was naked, and so was he. It would be so easy – just a small shift in positions and our bodies would join. He realized this at the same time, and I quickly found myself on my back as his lips attacked mine. His mouth was warm and soft, and I couldn't resist running my hands along the planes of his stomach. My hand continued drifting lower, and he shuddered when my fingers reached his zipper.

I was so inexperienced; I couldn't tell if the groan was the sound of pleasure or pain. I started to pull my hand away, but he wrapped his hand around my wrist, keeping it there.

_Definitely pleasure._

The combination of our fervent kisses and his breathless moans caused me to whimper as desire blossomed deep in my stomach.

I was aching for him to touch me, but tonight was for him – just as this morning had been for me.

"I love you," I whispered against his ear, "and I can't wait for you to make love to me."

One simple sentence. That was all it took.

As his breathing returned to normal, he raised his head and gazed intently at me. His brilliant green eyes pierced my soul, and I knew that his thoughts mirrored my own.

_How would we ever be able to say goodbye?_

* * *

**EPOV**

I placed my guitar in the backseat of the cab and climbed in, giving the man the address of Jane's downtown office. He wasn't talkative, and I was thankful for the quiet as he drove through the busy streets of Seattle. My head was filled with so many thoughts – some conflicted, some blissful – and I wanted a few minutes to compose myself before I met the woman who was hopefully going to navigate the murky waters of my record deal. I'd signed enough dotted lines to know how this worked, but there were some aspects of the deal that needed to be tweaked, and I needed a manager who was strong enough to fight this battle with me. She had to be a tough bitch to put up with my temperamental ass, because I could already assure her that I was going to be a bastard out on the road. That was a given. But, more than that, I was going to make some demands – demands that were probably unconventional and arrogant coming from a musician struggling to prove his worth to a record company. But my resolve was unwavering because I had to protect my future.

_Our future._

By some miracle, I was loved by the beautiful woman sleeping soundly back in my hotel room. This was just the first part of my mission to actually _deserve _that love.

The cab came to a screeching halt in front of a small office building that looked as if it had been an afterthought in the design of the busy downtown area. I paid the cabbie and pulled my guitar case out of the backseat before slamming the door behind me.

I took a deep breath and walked through the door. The office was small but tidy, and I was greeted with the wide smile of a receptionist who quickly dipped the brush of her nail polish back into the bottle before asking me if I had an appointment. I gave her my name, and she asked me to have a seat as she picked up the phone. Approximately thirty seconds later, one of the office doors flew open and a teenage boy with sculpted hair and flashy clothes exited the room, his head hanging low. Two women exited behind him, and I noted that the tall one looked particularly pissed.

"You are making a big mistake, Jane."

The shorter, blonde woman regarded her patiently. "_You _may believe that your son is the next Justin Timberlake, but I can assure you that he is not. Your son cannot _sing_. He cannot _dance_. You are wasting your time, and you are doing your son no favors by filling his head with such ridiculous notions. Chris seems like a nice boy. He is a straight-A student and likes to play baseball. Please nurture _those_ gifts and talents and _stop_ trying to turn him into something that he isn't."

The mother fumed as the boy kicked the tiled floor with his foot.

"Chris?"

The boy raised his head.

"Do you even _like_ to sing?" Jane asked. Her eyes sparkled, as if she already knew the answer to this question.

Chris looked from Jane to his mother before muttering, "Not really, no."

Jane's smile was triumphant before turning toward the woman once again. "See? Now leave the boy alone and let him be a kid. Have a good day."

All three of us watched as the mother grabbed her son by the arm and angrily steered him out the door.

"No more teens," Jane waved a finger at the fearful receptionist. "I refuse to sign fourteen year old pop acts, especially those with zero talent. I am not a magician."

The receptionist nodded emphatically.

Jane sighed heavily and then turned my way. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Edward Cullen! _Finally_ someone with talent! Let's do this, shall we?"

I liked her immediately.

"Let me see if I understand," Jane stared at me over the bridge of her rimmed glasses. The glasses were the kind you'd expect to see on the face of a naughty librarian – which sent my thoughts straight to Bella – which sent my body into overdrive.

_Focus, Cullen._

"You want it added to your contract that your tour ends in three months, regardless of ticket sales?"

"That's right."

Jane nodded as she jotted notes in the margin of the contract. "You're content with the three-album deal?"

I nodded that I was.

"You want to hold the rights to your songs, which I applaud. More musicians need to do that." She flipped to the next page. "At the completion of that contract, you want a development deal with a music publisher."

"You got it."

"Songwriting is what you want to do?"

"Yes," I replied firmly.

Jane removed her glasses and leaned back in her chair. "Why not just negotiate for a publishing deal now and skip the albums and the touring?"

My ears perked up. "Could I do that?"

"Sure you could," Jane shrugged. "Of course, you'll probably starve for a few years. You know that whole "struggling songwriter" thing. It takes time to build a songwriting reputation. Years, even."

_Shit._

Jane noticed the defeated expression on my face. She studied my face carefully before sighing softly.

"Edward, I would be happy to manage you. Your new songs are fresh and creative. Your guitar playing and songwriting are still superb, and those things were always your strengths. Well, that and the fact that you're still hot as hell."

I coughed nervously, but she ignored my discomfort.

"However, if I'm going to manage you, it's crucial that you're completely honest with me about what you really want out of this deal. You know better than anyone how hard this life can be for a musician. If this isn't what you really want, why are you here?"

So I told her. I told her how living on the road – even for just a few months – was causing me to have nightmares. I told her that the money was gone, and that I wanted to squeeze what I could out of Eclipse Records just so that I could move back to Forks and buy that piece of land. I told her that I still loved my music, but I did not have the confidence or the desire to perform for any extended length of time. I wanted to make some money and get the hell out of Dodge, hopefully with a publishing deal in hand so that I could move home and live in blissful obscurity.

Jane listened with rapt attention until I stopped spilling my guts. I reached down to close my guitar case, knowing she was two seconds away from kicking my ass out the door – a reward for my blatant "honesty."

"So, what's her name?"

My eyes flashed to hers, and I pretended to be clueless.

Jane chuckled softly. "No man wants to buy a piece of land and build a house in a tiny town like Forks, Washington unless there is a woman involved. What's her name?"

"Her name is Bella," I replied.

I figured I might as well continue with this honesty shit, so I told her all about Bella's bookstore and the possible foreclosure.

"I'm guessing that's where your advance will be going," Jane assumed, and I nodded.

Jane sighed tiredly as her eyes raked over the contract once again. "You've been very honest with me, so I'm going to be honest with you. You need money _now_, and I doubt that I can get you a decent advance as a songwriter. Your best bet is to take this deal. Do your tour. Make your three albums. Keep your nose clean… literally. Behave yourself, and if albums sales are decent, then here in a couple of years we'll be ready to negotiate a publishing deal. It's not how I usually conduct business, but nobody loses here. Eclipse wants you, and you haven't really asked for anything too out of the ordinary, so I'm sure they'll play ball. I must warn you that if all goes well, they will start pushing to extend your tour and your contract."

"Three months, Jane," I reminded her stiffly. "That's as long as I'm staying away from home."

Jane nodded in understanding. "Eclipse would frown upon your lack of future ambition and would pass on signing you if they were aware of that fact, so we'll keep those plans between us. In the meantime, Eclipse will hopefully make a profit, I will get to manage a decent artist, and you'll make some decent money. Everyone's happy. Then, you can go home to Forks, write your songs, build your house, and make babies with Bella."

Out of all of the things she just said, I found myself only focusing on the last.

_Make babies with Bella._

"Am I hired?" Jane smiled proudly.

"One more thing," I cautioned her. "You seem like a nice person, so you need to know up front that throughout this three-month tour, I'm probably going to be…"

"An asshole because you're missing your woman?" Jane grinned. "Yeah, I get that. Don't worry. I can handle your stubborn ass…and if not, I'm sure one phone call to Bella will do the trick."

I grinned.

"You're hired," I said.

**Do we like Jane? Is she as cool as she seems? As always, I love to hear from you.**


	13. You Are the Greatest Thing about Me

**AN: Chapter title comes from "If It's Love" by Train. Thanks, Scrimmy!**

**Chapter 13**

_**You Are the Greatest Thing about Me**_

* * *

EPOV

The next week was spent tying up loose ends with Eclipse Records. They had agreed to my terms, and I had signed the deal at Ben's office with Bella by my side. I was scheduled to join the tour at a music festival in Olympia in just two short weeks. There was so much to do to prepare, and I was thankful to Jane for handling it all. This gave me a chance to spend as much time as I could with my family and with Bella.

Before leaving Seattle, Jane had insisted on meeting Bella, and that meeting had gone better than I could have dreamed. Since returning to Forks, she and Jane had spent hours on the phone discussing my itinerary, and plans were made for Bella to visit me at a few stops along the way. Jane was convinced that the more Bella was involved in every aspect of this journey, the more grounded I would be. It was scary how Jane had made that observation so quickly, and I was thankful to have someone like her on our side. Beyond that, Jane was dealing with Eclipse – namely Victoria – who wasn't at all happy that I'd acquired management on my own considering they had a laundry list of Los Angeles music managers who could take me "as far as I wanted to go." Without going into specifics, I assured her that Jane _was_ that person. She had a solid reputation in the music business, so Victoria had no choice but to concede.

While in Seattle, we had dinner with Alice and Jasper. Upon meeting for the first time, Alice had pulled Bella into a tight hug, kissed her cheeks, and welcomed her to the family. Bella had blushed beautifully while Jasper and I could only chuckle at my little sister's exuberance. After dinner, we had walked back to our hotel. Alice, naturally, wanted to stop in the hotel's boutique, and while the girls were away, I took that opportunity to ask Jasper for the name of a good doctor. He referred me to his own doctor – a man by the name of Dr. Tanner – and I was able to get an appointment for the very next day. The physical had been fairly routine, and I had requested a series of STD tests, including an HIV test. Ashamed, I explained my years of drug use and unprotected sex to this complete stranger. To my relief, he didn't judge. He simply ordered a series of blood tests and assured me I'd have all of the results within a week or so.

I really hoped it was just a week because it was becoming more and more difficult to resist her. Since returning home, I had basically moved into Bella's house. So now, not only we were spending practically every waking moment together, we were also spending every _sleeping_ moment together. There was nothing more beautiful in the world than my sleeping girl, and she'd always wake up in the mornings willing to torture me with everything from her sweet kisses to the scantily clad pajamas that barely covered her ass. I was really trying to remain strong, but _damn_, a man can only take so much temptation. And since our time in Seattle, Bella was more than willing to tempt me.

Today was one of those mornings. Bella had awoken from a particularly vivid dream and was currently straddling me, wearing nothing but a pair of boy shorts and a thin tank top.

"Bella…" I warned gently through gritted teeth. She _really_ had to stop moving.

"Please," she whispered sexily.

Her soft little moans were all I needed, and we brought each other to the edge within minutes. It was quite impressive, considering we were both fully clothed.

My sweet girl was really quite creative.

I was just telling her so when a knock at her front door made us jump.

"What the hell? It's seven in the morning," Bella groaned.

I laughed and smacked her bottom as she climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans. While she went to the door, I took the opportunity to check my voice mail, take a shower, and get dressed. I was making my way through the living room and snapping my watch to my wrist when I heard Bella's nervous giggle coming from the kitchen. I turned the corner and stopped in my tracks when I saw that she wasn't alone at the table.

I had seen his picture, of course. His photos were everywhere in Bella's house and he _was_ an elected official. Still, there was something about Charlie Swan – and the gun on his hip – that made me freeze in absolute terror. After all, it was seven in the morning and I had wet hair. This scenario did not require a genius to fill in the blanks.

"Dad brought breakfast," Bella murmured gently as she made her way over to me and grabbed my hand. "Wasn't that nice?"

Chief Swan was scrutinizing my appearance from head to toe and then stared intently at our entwined hands.

I cleared my throat nervously. "That was very nice. Good morning, Sheriff Swan."

"You can call me Charlie," he replied gruffly. Bella busied herself by pouring everyone juice and coffee before she finally took a seat between us. She grabbed my hand under the table and squeezed it reassuringly. I attempted to eat a doughnut, and the three of us made small talk about everything from the weather to the best fishing spots. I noticed right away that Bella's father completely adored his daughter. His eyes would glow whenever he looked at her, but the dimness would return when his eyes found mine.

I tried not to take it personally.

"Well, boys, I need to get showered and head to the bookstore," Bella said as she stood up from the table.

"Are you working today, Edward?" Charlie asked.

"I'll be at the bookstore later this afternoon," I replied.

Charlie nodded. "Do you have plans for the rest of the morning?"

_Oh shit. _"No, sir."

"Good," Charlie nodded. "Then you won't mind spending some time with me this morning. I get the feeling that we need to get to know each other."

Bella's face looked panicked as she furiously scrubbed the sink. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing.

"That sounds great to me," I answered honestly. It really did. I loved his daughter, and it was essential that he understood that. If that meant spending the morning with the sheriff, then so be it.

"I'm sorry," Bella whispered when I walked her to the door. She tiptoed and kissed me softly. I was aware that he was watching us intently from the kitchen, but I didn't care. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tight.

"I'm not," I promised softly against her ear. "I want to get to know your dad. He's important to you, and that makes him important to me."

Bella sighed softly. "I'll see you this afternoon."

I stroked her cheek. "Don't forget we have dinner with my family tonight."

"I wouldn't miss it," she smiled happily before kissing me one last time. She linked my fingers with hers as she turned toward her father. "Dad, be nice to him. He's important."

Charlie's mustache twitched as he fought back a smile.

* * *

"She loves you," Charlie remarked softly. We'd been sitting on his porch for over an hour – each of us strumming a guitar. I was amazed to find that the sheriff played really well. It was surprisingly relaxing considering the enormity of this situation.

"I really don't know why," I answered honestly. "But I'm glad that she does. I love her, too."

"I know you do," Charlie nodded as his fingers slid along the strings. "It's written all over your face every time you look at her. That would be proof enough for me, but I've recently become aware of some additional information that pretty much seals it."

"Oh?"

"I had a long talk with your parents while you two were in Seattle," Charlie said. "They're good people."

"They are," I murmured softly.

"They told me what you're doing…with the record deal and your advance. That's really something, what you're doing for my daughter. And I want to thank you for that."

"I appreciate that, but it's not necessary," I said quietly. "I would do anything for her... anything to make her happy."

"I can see that," Charlie remarked softly. His hands suddenly stilled against his guitar. "Edward, I'm having some trouble wrapping my head around the fact that the famous bad-boy musician is in love with my daughter. I can't deny that it scares the hell out of me."

I nodded soberly. "I understand that. I know that I have a lot to prove."

"I'm not one to listen to gossip, but this is a small town, and without you here to defend yourself…well, let's just say you were a constant source of conversation."

I cringed slightly as I stopped strumming. "I'm sure you've heard horror stories."

"I have," Charlie agreed. "What you did in your past is none of my business. But what you do _now_…unfortunately, that _is_ my business because now my daughter is involved. No one knows better than me that there are few guarantees in life. We pay taxes and we die. That's pretty much it. But, in order to sleep at night, I need to know your intentions toward my daughter. She lost her mother just over a year ago, and I don't know that she'd survive another heartbreak like that. You're going to be gone for a few months, and while I don't necessarily doubt your feelings for her, surely you understand that I'm concerned that the possibility exists that you'll go off on tour and not come home for another five years. I need to know what I'm facing here."

Charlie Swan wanted my assurance that I was coming home.

I took a deep breath. "You have no idea how much it's killing me to leave her, even if it's just for three months. And yes, my past is full of mistakes that I'm not proud of. But I need to do this. I want to do this for her and for our future."

"And you're sure you want a future with her? You haven't known her that long…"

"I've never been more certain of anything in my entire life!" I snapped, prompting a rising of Sheriff Swan's eyebrow. "….sir."

To my enormous relief, he chuckled. "I understand you're interested in those eight acres out on Fern Hill Road."

"Yes, sir."

"Why haven't you contacted the owner?"

How had he known that I hadn't contacted the owner? "I don't have the money yet, so I figured I'd wait until I could at least get the down payment. The advance is going toward the bookstore. After that, I'll give the realtor a call."

"There's no realtor," Charlie commented dryly. "Realtors like to increase the asking price to cover their commission. I knew I'd never sale it if I had to tack on a realtor's fee along with my asking price."

My head snapped up. "That land is _yours_?"

Charlie grinned. "It's funny how things work out, isn't it?"

I sat in stunned silence while Charlie explained that he'd inherited that piece of property from his grandfather many years ago. Just recently, Charlie had made the decision to clear it and sale it.

"I had actually planned to sell it and buy Bella's shop for her, but the economy is such shit that nobody's interested. But then your father mentioned that you were interested in a piece of property out on Fern Hill, and since I know that's the only available property out there…"

I placed my guitar in its case and leaned back in my chair, marveling at the fact that this really was such a small world.

"I want to buy that land," I whispered softly, "and I want to build a house on it. And then, I want to marry your daughter."

"Well, if that's the case," Charlie murmured low, "then I _can't_ let you buy that land."

Misery flooded me. The man hated me, and I knew Bella would never marry me if her father didn't approve. Did he want me to beg? I'd beg everyday for the rest of my life if that's what he needed.

"It would have to be a wedding present," Charlie said.

I stared at him in shock. He wanted to _give_ us eight acres of land?

"Sir, that's very generous, but I….I can't…I can't let you do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I want to earn it," I explained quietly. "I want to work for it and deserve to have it."

Charlie leaned back in his chair and studied my face for the longest time before finally sighing.

"I respect that, Edward. I really do. But you have to understand something. This is my daughter, and I want to take care of her, too."

"I _do _understand that…"

"Listen," Charlie interrupted. "It's killing me that I can't help her with the bookstore. I have eight acres of land to sale that nobody wants. I have my retirement, but it's not nearly enough, and besides, she refuses to let _me_ help her." I didn't miss the fact that he was scrutinizing me, wondering how the hell I had convinced her to let me do so. "But she's letting _you_, and I'm appreciative of that. So let me do this for her. Let me give her the one thing I'm capable of giving."

"It's too much," I argued softly.

"I could say the same thing to you," Charlie replied with a shrug. "You're risking an awful lot by going back out on the road."

"It's worth it. I love her more than anything in this world," I offered in explanation.

Charlie smiled gently as he strummed his guitar. "That makes two of us, son."

That's when his words sunk in. It _wasn't_ too much.

Nothing was too much for her.

"You see now, don't you?" Charlie asked softly. I nodded before he continued. "So go out there and do your tour…buy her bookstore…and when you come home – and after you've properly proposed to my daughter and she says yes – then we'll work on the deed to the land."

"I don't how to repay you," I whispered emotionally.

"Sure you do," Charlie said as he offered to shake my hand. "You can love my daughter and protect her with your life. Simple."

With a relieved sigh, I shook his hand.

He was right. It really was that simple.

* * *

"Dinner was delicious," Carlisle praised as he wiped his mouth with his napkin. "And Bella, that cheesecake was incredible."

"Thanks," she smiled softly as she snuggled against my side.

I pressed a kiss to her temple and once again thanked my lucky stars that today had been close to perfection. Officially introducing Bella to my family had been a piece of cake since she already knew them all. Emmett was the only stranger, and he'd rectified that situation by pulling her into a bear hug as soon as we walked into the kitchen. My nieces had been talking her ear off the entire night, and my parents were staring at her like she was an angel sent from heaven. Even Rosalie liked her, and my sister-in-law rarely liked anybody. This knowledge, combined with my morning with Charlie, had made this day pretty perfect.

Dad was called away to the hospital, so Emmet and I decided to clean-up while the girls went into the living room. We joked and laughed about the stupidest things, and it reminded me how much I had missed him while I'd been gone.

Soon, I'd be home to stay, and I wouldn't have to miss him anymore.

After we had finished cleaning, we made our way back into the living room to join our family. Emmett rushed to Rosalie's side and sat down on the loveseat next to her. Esme was sitting in the recliner while Bella was sitting on the couch, with a niece under each arm. She was reading to them, and everyone was listening with rapt attention.

I wasn't listening. All I could do was stare.

_That's your future_, I reminded myself. Someday, Bella would be sitting on our couch, in our house, with our children nestled against her side. The vision flooded me with happiness. I loved his girl more than she could ever possibly comprehend, and it had happened so effortlessly. I certainly hadn't been looking for her, but she'd found me.

Bella looked up then, and she smiled softly at me before resuming her reading. I glanced at the loveseat and noticed that Rosalie was staring at me with a look that I couldn't quite understand. Emmett helped her struggle out of the loveseat, and I watched curiously as she made her way over to me.

"Can we talk?" She asked softly. I nodded and followed her back into the kitchen. I offered her a seat, but she declined.

"Takes too long to get back up," she smirked, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I owe you an apology," she murmured hesitantly. "I was out of line, and I'm sorry. Emmett told me what you were doing for Bella, and it's….very nice, Edward. I never would have expected it from you."

I tried not to be offended. I'd never given Rosalie any reason to trust me, and that was my fault for never coming home.

"I understand, Rosalie, I really do."

Rose changed her mind about the chair, and I offered my hand to help her sit. She muttered her thanks before locking her eyes with me. "I've been here all of these years, and I've seen how much your family has missed you. I've watched your mother cry because she didn't know where you were or what you were doing. I've listened as your father defends your honor against the town gossip more times than I can count. I've heard my husband talk about how much he misses you and wishes you'd make time for your family. I've had to raise my girls without being able to give them a real sense of who their Uncle Edward really is. And every Christmas, I've had to watch Alice's heart break when you don't walk through the door. I've had to witness all of that, and it's made me hate you for putting your family through it."

I bowed my head in disgrace as I threatened to control my shameful tears.

"And I'm not that arrogant. I know this isn't about me. But I've had to watch your family miss you – just painfully, heartbreakingly miss you – year after year. I swear to God, Edward, if you don't come back this time…."

I reached across the table and grabbed her trembling hand. "Shh, Rose. It's not good for the baby for you to get so upset. I'm sorry. I know I have a decade's worth of apologies to make. I'm trying, Rose. I really am."

Rosalie wiped a tear from her cheek. "I know you are. I can _see_ that you are. When Emmett told me you were leaving, I nearly went ballistic. And then Bella came here….and she was bawling…just absolutely inconsolable, and I just _knew_ you were the reason…" Her voice trailed off as she wiped her face. "She's a sweet girl, Edward. A genuinely sweet girl, and if you break her heart…."

"I won't break her heart, Rosalie," I assured her with a whisper. "This girl is my entire world. I've never been in love before, and I had no idea….absolutely no idea it could feel like this. I've never wanted a wife or home or babies, but I swear, Rosalie, it is all I think about these days. I just want to get this tour finished so that I can _home_. Did you ever think you'd hear me say that?"

She laughed through her tears. "No, I never thought I'd live to see the day. What you're doing for her, Edward….it's really, really wonderful."

"I'm not trying to be wonderful," I whispered softly. "I'm just trying to be worthy, and I'm just trying to love her."

I don't know if it was my words or the pregnancy hormones, but Rosalie suddenly burst into tears, prompting our entire family to rush into the kitchen. Emmett was by her side immediately, kneeling at her feet. The rest of the family circled the table, and I grabbed Bella's hand, pulling her into my lap.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Emmett asked anxiously.

"Nothing's wrong," Rosalie smiled at him. "I'm just realizing that your brother isn't the jerk I thought he was."

It was a back-handed compliment, but from Rosalie Cullen, I'd take it.

* * *

The next day, I was buried in the science fiction aisle and opening a shipment of books when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I didn't take the time to answer it, and I waited until I'd unloaded the box and arranged the books on the shelf before checking my voicemail. After I finally checked the message, I rushed to the stockroom - softly closed the door - and proceeded to cry for twenty minutes.

I'd had no idea that I had been so worried about the test results, but the message from the doctor's nurse confirming that I was in the clear – combined with all of the other wonderful things that were happening in my life – just completely overwhelmed me. It was relief and elation and just gratefulness, and all three emotions were still so foreign to me that I was finding it hard to express them.

So I cried.

And then I realized I could finally…_finally_…make love to my girl.

Like a man possessed, I rushed out of the stockroom and back out into the store. A quick glance around the shop told me that it was empty, so I made my way back to Bella's office. She was standing with her back to me, looking out the window. Quietly, I made my way to her and brushed her hair away from her shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close to my chest as I nibbled the skin along her shoulder.

"Mmm…." Bella groaned softly. "That feels so good."

"Does it?" I whispered softly against her ear. She nodded as she leaned her head against my shoulder. I let my hand drift along her stomach before sliding it lower.

"Oh, god…"

She turned toward me, wrapping her arms around my neck as she pulled my face to hers. I kissed her desperately until she broke the kiss, placing both hands along my face and gazing at me curiously.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what has you all worked up?"

I smiled mischievously and whispered the news in her ear. She gasped excitedly, and her eyes were sparkling with excitement.

"Tonight?" Bella whispered longingly.

"I was kind of hoping for _now_."

Bella laughed. "We can't now. I have a group of first graders coming in for a story. It's been scheduled for weeks."

I groaned and leaned down to kiss her. "That's too bad. I've had fantasies of making love to you on top of this desk…"

"Tonight…I promise. Tonight you can make love to me anywhere you want."

"Deal. Do you want me to stay here and help with the read-aloud?"

"Nah, I'm good." Bella replied with a smile. "You _could_ go home and make me dinner, though."

"I could, could I?" I grinned down at her and kissed her softly. "Anything for you, sweet girl. What would you like?"

"Surprise me," she said, just as we heard the chime of the door.

The air was suddenly filled with the sounds of squealing, excited children. We smiled at each other, and I kissed her one last time before pulling her by the hand and out into the crowded bookstore.

* * *

BPOV

The house was eerily dark and quiet as I made my way through the front door.

"Edward?" I shouted as I walked toward the kitchen. I noticed there was no smell of dinner, and I wondered if he'd forgotten that we had a date….an _important_ date. Surely he hadn't forgotten. I was pretty sure I'd cry if he'd forgotten.

Hesitantly, I pushed the door open to my bedroom, and all of my fears were relieved.

Candles illuminated the darkness of my bedroom, and I could hear the faint sound of splashing water coming from the bathroom. I took off my jacket and dropped my bag before making my way through the dimly lit room. I peeked around the corner, and my breath stopped when I saw him sitting in the deep waters of my tub, surrounded by bubbles.

"Hi," I whispered faintly.

He lifted his head and smiled at me. "Hey, sweetheart."

"What's all this?" I asked softly, motioning toward the candles that were flickering softly throughout the room.

"I thought we might like a bath," Edward whispered softly.

"We?"

He smiled crookedly at me. "Is that okay?

"You're sitting completely naked in my bathtub," I murmured shakily, my excitement evident in my voice. "_Okay_ doesn't quite cover it."

He chuckled softly, but his laughter died when I started unbuttoning my blouse. His eyes wandered down my body as I slowly slipped out of everything I was wearing. I pulled my hair out of the ponytail, and I heard his sharp intake of my breath when my hair fell around my shoulders. His eyes were ravenous as he raised his hand to me, and I smiled as I took his hand and climbed into the tub.

I snuggled between his legs and pressed my back against his chest as he encircled me in his arms. Edward sighed softly against my ear as he pulled my hair to one side and began kissing the skin of my shoulder. I relaxed against him as we settled into a peaceful embrace and started talking about the last few weeks of our lives. Everything was happening so fast, but it was all wonderful and exciting and I wouldn't have changed a minute of it. Well…that's not true. I _might _have changed Charlie's surprise visit at seven in the morning…but even that had worked out well, and I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have so many good things in my life.

"Bella?" Edward asked quietly as he pressed a kiss to my neck.

"Hmm?"

"About tonight…"

_Oh no._

"I know I came on a little strong at the bookstore, but if you want to wait…"

"Why would I want to wait?"

"Because it's your first time," Edward whispered softly. "If it's important to you that we wait until….you know, until we're…."

I smiled softly as I ran my hand along his thigh. "Until we're what?"

He sighed against my ear.

"You know I want to marry you someday."

I had assumed so, what with all of the recent talk about commitment, but still…it was thrilling to hear him say it.

I took his hand and climbed out of the tub, pulling him with me. We wrapped each other in towels and took our time drying each other's bodies before letting the towels drop onto the floor. I tugged him by the hand and led him back into the bedroom, stopping at the edge of the bed and turning toward him. His eyes were brimming with emotion, and it was all I could do not to cry. He was so angelic and handsome, and I couldn't believe he wanted me.

"I don't want to wait a moment longer," I whispered tenderly as I stroked his face. "I've been waiting for you my whole life, and now you're here."

He turned his head and placed a soft kiss to the palm of my hand.

"I love you with all of my heart. I don't know how I'm going to make it without you..." His voice broke as I placed my finger over his lips.

"We'll make it," I promised him. "It's taking everything in me not to beg you to stay, but I don't want to do that." I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him softly. "But there is _something_ I want to do…"

"What do you want to do?" Edward asked softly, his nose brushing against mine.

"I want to give you a reason to come home," I murmured against his mouth.

He moaned softly as he lifted me off the ground, and I buried my face in his neck as he carried me to the bed, gently laying me against the mattress. We kissed slowly at first – small, teasing brushes that set my body ablaze. His touches were soft and hesitant, and I could feel that he was holding back. His hands were shaking as they caressed my body, and I took his hand in mine and pulled it to my lips.

"You won't hurt me," I promised him, sensing his hesitation. "Please…."

His eyes were wild…full of fear and love. I pulled his mouth to mine and kissed him roughly, wrapping my arms around his neck and running my fingers through his hair. He hovered over me, his fingers lacing with mine.

"The doctor said I was okay, but should I…."

"No, it's okay," I whispered softly, trailing my finger along his jaw. "I've been on the pill for years."

His face softened as he kissed my nose. "I really wouldn't mind so much. Someday we're going to make beautiful babies."

"Just as soon as you ask me to marry you," I murmured.

Edward smiled down at me. "Will you say yes?"

"Yes."

With every kiss and every whisper, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that we would be okay. I would miss him so much – and he would miss me – but we would survive it and we'd be stronger because of it.

Our mutual moans filled the air as we found our release, and Edward wrapped me protectively in his arms as I rested my head against his chest. We rested there, whispering sweet words and talking about the future, until we finally drifted off into the most peaceful sleep either of us had ever known.


	14. If I Built a Wall a Hundred Feet Tall

**AN: Tissue warning, perhaps? My beta, snarkerella, says so. Love you, girl.**

**Chapter title comes from Michelle Featherstone's "Stay." If you listen to it while reading, I promise you'll need ****that tissue.**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

_**If I Built a Wall a Hundred Feet Tall**_

BPOV

Edward was leaving tomorrow.

I had the date circled in red on the calendar next to the computer in my office. It had been staring me in the face for the past two weeks…depressing me…reminding me that in a few short days he'd be gone for three very long months.

I went through various stages of grief. Stage one consisted of cheerful pessimism where phrases such as, "_It's going to suck but it's only for three months_" echoed in my brain. As the days had dwindled, my sorrow escalated to stage four – the stage where I was ready to sell my store to Jacob Black, just so that I could follow Edward and his tour bus around the country.

Our last two weeks together had been amazing. We had spent lots of time with his family, and I had spent countless hours on the phone with Jane. She became my new best friend when she'd insisted on sending me a plane ticket to join Edward at his stop in Nashville next month. It was still an entire month without him, but it could have been so much worse, so I was grateful. She seemed to think that the more involved I was in his career, the more determined he'd be to stay grounded in the present and ignore his demons from the past.

Another tactic for staying grounded in the present included making love on every available flat surface we could find. Yesterday, we'd made love on my desk (which fulfilled one of his fantasies). The day before that, he'd attacked me in the stockroom (fulfilling one of mine). We had spent every single night together. We'd sit on his parents' front porch while he played his guitar and sang his new songs, or he'd lay with his head in my lap while I read aloud from one of my favorite books in the meadow. It was contentment and solace and heaven, and the thought of having to let him go – even for a month – was unbearable.

But I'd do it, and we were determined that we'd be stronger because of it.

Edward's moods varied between guarded excitement and misery. I wanted him to enjoy his time on stage. He still loved to perform, and his music was so good. He'd even commented that falling in love with me had totally changed his songwriting, but I didn't believe that. I remembered the songs from his debut album, and they were meaningful and heartfelt. I didn't hear a difference at all.

"But there _is_ a difference," Edward had told me one night while we were lying in bed. "_You're_ the difference. I'd never written a love song before I met you. I didn't _know_ anything about love before I met you."

Today had been one of his miserable days, and I knew it was because he was leaving tomorrow. He'd been restless all night long, but he'd insisted on coming into the bookstore today to help me unload the latest shipment. I'd taken a box to the sci-fi section, and he'd taken a container to the self-help corner, and we'd worked in relative silence all morning long. I was too lost in my sadness to plaster a fake smile on my face, and he was too tired and anxious to act as if nothing was wrong. So instead of pretending, we'd spent the morning avoiding each other.

It was around one when I locked the front door and placed the closed sign in the window. We'd decided to close early today so that Edward could have some extra time to finish packing and to spend time with his family.

"Bella?" Edward's voice was a faint whisper from the back of the store. "Are you locking up?"

"Yeah, I'm ready to go when you are."

"Could you come here?"

I sighed softly as I made my way toward the back of the store. I was almost to the back when an arm suddenly wrapped around my waist. I gasped in surprise as Edward pushed me against the tallest bookshelf of the reference section. His eyes were wild and needy as he stared into my eyes.

"I need you," he breathed desperately as he grasped my wrists and brought my arms over my head. He reached for my shirt and quickly lifted it over my head, throwing it onto the floor.

"Right here?" I asked excitedly.

His hands fumbled with the buttons of my jeans, and he dropped to his knees while tugging my pants and panties to the floor.

"Right here," Edward murmured against my thigh as he quickly kissed his way back up my body. "I love you, and I want you…right here."

I heard his own jeans unzip, and his eyes locked with mine.

"Hold on, sweet girl," he whispered breathlessly, and I moaned loudly as he lifted me against the bookshelf, his mouth crashing against mine. I wrapped my legs around him and grabbed the shelf for support, and I was suddenly quite thankful that my father had insisted on nailing the shelves to the walls.

"When I'm gone…" Edward groaned low against my mouth. "I want you to think about this moment…and these shelves…and remember that you're mine….and that I'm yours…"

"I won't forget."

He moaned as our tongues met, and the only sound in the bookstore was the thumping of the shelf against the wall and our breathy whimpers.

"Say it," Edward growled against my neck. "Say you're mine."

"I'm yours, baby," I panted softly. How could he even question it? Didn't he know that he owned me – every single part of me? "I'm yours…forever and ever…"

"Forever and ever," he murmured against my mouth, and right there in the reference section, amidst the tumbling books falling from the shelf, we fulfilled yet another fantasy.

* * *

We spent the rest of the day and evening with his family. We watched movies and played board games until Esme and I decided to cook dinner for everyone. No one spoke of his leaving, choosing to concentrate on the present and ignore the uncertain future. However, we were reminded of the future when Rosalie felt the baby kick, and everyone had to take turns touching her stomach. It was a subtle reminder that life would go on with or without him in town, but I really couldn't think about it that way. Instead, I saw it as just another wonderful reason for him to come home…to all of us.

Edward and his father went out to the porch as Esme and I finished cleaning the kitchen. When they returned, both had red eyes and somber expressions on their faces. Edward just smiled at me and pressed a kiss to my temple before going into the living room to spend a few more minutes with the girls.

"Everything's going to be fine," Esme whispered to me as she handed me the last of the plates. "You know that, don't you?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

As we made our way back into the living room, I couldn't help but smile as I found him sandwiched on the couch between his two nieces.

"And you promise to call," Claire murmured softly.

"I promise," Edward whispered, pressing a kiss to her hair.

"And you'll sing us a song?" Katie asked hopefully.

"Anything you want."

"Even _Part of Your World_?" Katie asked.

One day last week, Edward had surprised Katie by playing the song from _The Little Mermaid_, and now, it was the most requested song in the Cullen household. There was just something about a grown man singing, _"You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty"_ that could melt the coldest of hearts. It was a true testament to the man he'd become, and it only made me love him more.

I watched from the corner of the room as his family enveloped him in hugs and kisses. Even Rosalie was crying, and she totally blamed it on the hormones, but she wasn't really fooling anyone. Emmett – usually so strong and gruff – had tears in his eyes. They were so proud of him, and it was the most wonderful moment to witness. I couldn't help but think about other families who go through separations. There were spouses everywhere – sending their loved ones off to war, never knowing when, if ever, they'll get the chance to come home.

Compared to that, I knew that our separation was really insignificant.

It still hurt, though.

It was around midnight when we finally left his family and headed back to my house. He still had some packing to do, and everything he needed was at my house. I watched from my spot on the bed as he finished packing his duffel, placing it and his guitar case by the door.

"You're quiet tonight," Edward whispered as he finally climbed into bed. He pulled me into his arms and I buried my face against his chest. Suddenly, I wasn't feeling so brave anymore. Tonight would be the last night he'd sleep in my bed for three whole months. Tonight would be the last time he held me while I slept. Tomorrow, I would drive him to SeaTac and I'd watch him board a plane. Tomorrow night we would both be sleeping alone.

"Listen," Edward said softly in my ear. "I've opened an account down at the bank, and the advance from Eclipse will be deposited tomorrow afternoon. Both of our names are on the account."

I lifted my head to protest, but he silenced me with a soft kiss.

"Shh, don't argue with me," he whispered when he pulled away. "Everything I have is yours."

I sighed heavily as he continued.

"When you get back from the airport, I want you to go straight to the bank, find Eric, and write him a check. It should be more than enough to cover the defaulted amount on the bookstore and enough to sustain until we can buy it outright. Do it as soon as you get home, okay?"

"Okay," I promised him softly. I still didn't like the idea of a joint bank account considering I couldn't contribute much to it, but I didn't want to spend our last night arguing about it.

He relaxed against me as he placed a kiss upon my head and pulled me tight against him.

"Do you have any idea how important you are to me?"

"Yes, I do." While it was incredible to me that he loved me so much, there was no doubt in my mind that he did.

"I mean it," Edward said, pulling back to gaze down at me. His eyes looked so solemn. "If I died tomorrow, would you know how much I loved you?"

Panic gripped me.

"You can't say shit like that to me," I whispered as tears began to stream down my face. "I'm putting you on a plane tomorrow, and I won't see you for a month…"

"Shh…" Edward coaxed as he kissed my tear-stained cheeks. "I'm sorry, sweet girl. Nothing's going to happen to me." He continued soothing me with his voice and his soft kisses until I could finally breathe again. "Bella, you are my life now, and I just want to make sure that you fully comprehend that before I walk out that door."

"I love you, too…so much…" I murmured softly. "I'll be in Nashville before you know it, and then we'll only have two more months before you come home."

Edward smiled down at me. "I never thought the day would come that I would choose home over the road."

"I'm a very good reason to come home," I teased softly, but he didn't laugh. He lifted my chin with his finger and pressed his lips to mine.

"You're the very best reason to come home," he whispered with a smile before his face grew serious once again. "I want to thank you."

"For what?"

"You've never once asked me to stay," Edward murmured quietly.

No, I'd never asked that of him. Lord knows I wanted to beg him to stay with me, though.

"You know that I can't say no to you. I'd rip that contract in half if you asked me to."

I sighed softly. "You know I don't want you to go, but you want this…"

"For _us_," Edward emphasized. "I'm only doing this for our future."

"I know," I smiled at him. "But I also want you to have your singing career, even if it's only a stepping stone into songwriting. You deserve this chance, and I want you to take it."

"I know you do," Edward said. "So thank you for not making this any harder than it already is."

"I make no promises about tomorrow. I may just kidnap you."

"I'd let you," Edward grinned slyly. "Listen, I don't want you to worry. I've thought a lot about my past…all of the mistakes I made the first time…and I want you to know that I'm more mature now. I don't want you worrying that I'm cheating or drinking or any of those things that could ruin this. I won't mess this up, I promise."

"I know you won't."

"Do you trust me?" Edward murmured against my lips.

"Completely."

We made love then, and it was sweet and reverent. Gone was the desperation from earlier today. Tonight's lovemaking was warm and tender – full of quiet, loving whispers and promises for the future. We fell asleep in each other's arms, and we were still in that position when he woke me a few hours later. He whispered my name – with a voice so heartbreakingly sad – and we cried as we made love all over again.

Around seven, Edward took me by the hand and led me to the shower. We were wrapped in each other's embrace as the water cascaded around us, and I cried again, knowing that in just a few hours I would be putting my whole heart on that plane, and I wasn't quite sure how I was going to survive without it.

The drive to SeaTac was gloomy and miserable, which perfectly matched the somber mood inside the car. Edward held my hand for the entire trip, but neither of us had a lot to say. We'd spent the night saying everything that needed to be said, and we'd agreed not to say goodbye today.

The airport was busy as Edward checked his luggage, and I scanned the monitors to check on his flight to Los Angeles. We walked hand-in-hand toward his gate, and we sat next to the windows, watching as planes arrived and departed. My eyes scanned the airport as passengers made their way to families, and some of the reunions were so sweet and tearful that they made my heart ache just a little bit more.

"Sweetheart," Edward whispered as he squeezed my hand. "I have something for you."

My eyes widened as he pulled a jewelry box from his pocket. He noticed my expression and grinned. "It's not a ring. If that was the case, I would have put it on your finger last night."

I giggled softly as he placed the box in my hand. I gently lifted it, and there, nestled in the velvet was a sterling silver necklace with a charm in the shape of a musical note attached to the thin chain. It was so dainty and beautiful.

"I thought that you could wear it," Edward said as he pulled the necklace out of the box, "and whenever you were missing me, you could touch it, and you'd remember that I'm yours, and that I'm thinking about you every single second, and that I love you with all of my heart."

My eyes filled with tears as I turned around to allow him to fasten the necklace around my neck. His fingers trailed softly along the skin before he placed a soft kiss there. I turned back around and softly touched the silver musical note.

"I love it," I said, leaning in to kiss him, "and I love you. I have something for you, too."

I reached down in my bag and pulled out two matching journals. "I thought that we could write to each other. I know you'll be busy and won't have time to write every day, but it'd be like love letters – only we'll save them and read them to each other when you come home."

Edward smiled and kissed me gently. "I'll write in it every night, I promise."

He pulled me into his lap and held me close until they called for his flight. The announcement brought us back to reality, and I buried my face in his neck as he hugged me tight. We both sighed as he pulled us to our feet, and for a moment, my strength almost faltered. I could keep him right here. All I'd have to do is say the word and he'd grab his bags and drive us home. The tortured expression on his face mirrored my own.

"Tell me to stay." His voice was achingly soft as he pressed his forehead against mine. Our hands, already laced together, tightened in an iron grip.

I closed my eyes, and I suddenly understood that I was going to have to be the strong one. He was giving up so much for me, and in doing so, he was going to gain confidence in his abilities as a songwriter and learn to trust himself again. He _needed_ do to this – not just for us – but for himself, as well. I loved him too much to deny him that opportunity.

"Tell me to let you go," I whispered against his mouth.

"Never."

"Never," I smiled through my tears. Edward moaned as he pulled my face to his, his lips moving against mine urgently…desperately…frantically…until they announced final boarding, and I willed myself to pull away.

"Call me as soon as you land."

He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "I will. I love you, Bella, more than you'll ever know."

"I love you, baby. Hurry home to me."

"Always," he promised, and he kissed me one last time before grabbing his bag and heading toward the ticket counter.

I'd made him promise not to look back, and to my great relief and disappointment, he kept his promise.

He really would do anything for me.

I turned around to grab my bag, and I gasped when I saw my father sitting in the chair next to it.

"Dad?" I whispered through my tears.

He stood quickly and offered me my bag.

"I got one of my men to drop me off," Charlie murmured gently as he brushed my hair out of my eyes. "Edward didn't want you to be alone today. That boy really loves you, Bella."

"Oh, Dad," I cried as I flung myself into his arms. Charlie and I had never really been ones for outward displays of affection. I loved him, and he loved me, and we were content in that knowledge. But he stood right there, holding me while I sobbed.

"Come on, baby girl," Charlie murmured when I finally cried myself out. "Let's get you home. I hear that you have a promise to keep."

_The bank._

"Yes, I do," I whispered bravely, and I let my father hold my hand all the way home.

* * *

With my father by my side, I walked into the bank and asked to see Eric Yorkie. Surprise flashed across his face when we walked into his office, and I could hear his breathing accelerate when I sat across from his desk and wrote the biggest check I'd ever written in my life.

"Bella…how?" Eric asked suspiciously.

"That's none of your business," I said. "I would like a receipt and a written statement that says that my account is now out of default and in good standing."

"Of course," Eric replied quickly. "I'll have it in the mail tomorrow."

"I want the receipt _today_," I replied firmly as my fingers fumbled with my necklace, reminding me to stay strong. Eric's eyes widened as he quickly pulled my account up on his screen and printed me a receipt.

"Also, you can call your friend Jacob and tell him that my book store is no longer on the chopping block."

"Bella," Eric smiled condescendingly, "I would never discuss your account with Jacob or anyone else. That's against bank policy."

"Sure you don't," I sneered, and Charlie chuckled from the door. "Are we good here?"

"Yes," Eric grinned from behind his desk. "I'm glad you found a way to work this out, Bella. Your bookstore is such an asset to our—"

"Save it," I snapped as I jumped to my feet. The stunned look on Eric's face was priceless. "I'll also be requesting a new loan officer. I will be paying off the entire balance very soon, and I want to ensure that the process is handled professionally."

"Have a good day, Eric," my father grinned in his direction as we made our way out of the office.

"Well that was fun to watch," Charlie laughed as we made our way to the vehicle. "Edward would be so proud of you, and so am I."

"Thanks," I whispered softly. I was too emotional and exhausted to be proud of myself. "I'd like to take a nap before Edward's plane lands in California. Would you mind taking me home?"

"Are you sure?" Dad asked softly. "I don't want you to be alone, Bella."

"I'll be okay," I promised him, and I really hoped I sounded more convincing than I felt.

Charlie dropped me off at the house. Edward's plane wouldn't be landing for at least an hour, so I decided to take a shower and try to relax so that I'd sound halfway calm when he called. I wanted him to be proud of me for standing up to Eric and for making it home without breaking down.

As I made my way into the bathroom, I saw his towel hanging from the rack. It was still damp from his shower this morning, and I trailed my fingers along the terrycloth before stripping quickly and making my way into the shower. I noticed that he'd left his body wash, and I wondered if he'd left it on purpose. I poured a generous amount of it into my loofah and ran the sponge along my skin. Edward's sweet scent soon filled the bathroom, the familiar aroma making me smile in spite of my sadness. I made a mental note to buy more of his body wash. If he couldn't be here with me, at least I could smell like him for the next three months.

I dressed in one of Edward's t-shirts and a pair of jeans and quickly dried my hair before climbing into our bed with the phone in one hand and a book in another. I had just opened to the front page when my phone vibrated in my hand.

"Hello?" I answered breathlessly.

"Hi, sweet girl."

His voice flooded my veins with warmth. "Hey. How was your flight?"

"It was okay. I'm in a cab now, making my way to the hotel. How are you?"

"I'm okay."

"Really?"

I sighed softly. "No, but I just took a shower and now I smell like you. That helps a little."

"Ah, I was hoping you'd use it," Edward said. "I stole your lotion. My hands smell like strawberries."

I glanced at my bedside table, and sure enough, my strawberries and cream lotion was gone. I couldn't help but giggle.

"Edward, thank you for sending my dad."

"You're welcome, baby. I just couldn't bear the thought of you driving all the way home by yourself. Did you go to the bank?"

I told him all about the bank and my conversation with Eric.

"That's my girl," Edward murmured proudly. "Sweetheart, I hate to hang up so soon, but we're at the hotel and I need to get checked-in. I have to meet Jane in an hour."

"It's okay," I said. "I'm going to go to the bookstore for a few hours. Catch up on some paperwork."

"I'll call you tonight," Edward promised, his voice tinged with sadness. "I love you, Bella. You have no idea how hard it was to board that plane."

I smiled sadly. "I have some idea, I think. I love you, too."

My nap long forgotten, I drove to the bookstore and promptly locked the door behind me. I hadn't planned to open the store today, and I really did need to work on some things. The café was going to fully open next week, and I was still choosing vendors. Plus, I needed to go through applications and find some part-time help.

As I made my way toward my office, my eyes glanced at the reference section. There – scattered on the floor – were all of the books that had fallen from the shelves during our frantic lovemaking. I kneeled to the ground and ran my hands reverently along the books. We had made love right here just yesterday, and it had been frantic and needy…using our bodies to convey how much we were hurting and how much we were going to miss each other.

My fingers drifted long my necklace, and I glanced down at the pretty silver treble clef as it snuggled against Edward's shirt. I brought the charm to my lips and kissed it softly. Overwhelmed with exhaustion and emotion, I lay down among the fallen books and sobbed, allowing my depression to swallow me whole.

**As always, I love to hear what you think.**


	15. Existing in Limbo

**AN: Thank you for all of your sweet comments. They make my day. **

**Lots of thanks to snarkerella for waving her beta wand and making my stories look so pretty.**

**The chapter title comes from "Zzyxz Rd" by Stone Sour.**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**_Existing in Limbo_**

The flash of the photographer's cameras were blinding as I made my way off the platform. As always, Jane was right there, congratulating me on another good interview and leading me to wherever I needed to be next, which, luckily for me, was the tour bus. This had been my life for the past two weeks, and I was still trying to recall why I had ever wanted this kind of life. Had there really been a time when I'd enjoyed having my name screamed and my picture taken? Maybe I'd been out of the business too long and it was just taking me time to readjust to the constant noise and pressure that accompanied this life, but it was really hard for me to remember the younger version of me who'd actually enjoyed all of this attention.

Singing on stage had always been something I enjoyed, but now that I was older, I realized that it was really just having the chance to showcase my songs that made me happiest. The bright lights and the constant screaming were nice for the ego, I supposed, but it held zero appeal to me now. I tried to play my role and give them a good show, but my heart truly wasn't in it. I couldn't wait to get my songwriting deal so that I could do my thing without the hassle of being on the road and away from my family.

Victoria was a constant thorn in my side, and I was just waiting for the day that Jane kicked her ass. It'd nearly happened twice already. The first time was when Victoria mentioned that I should always look "available" to my female fans. To reiterate that point, she'd actually invited groupies backstage after our first concert in Anaheim – much to the delight of my band. I'd been polite and smiled as instructed, but when clothes started unzipping, Jane had grabbed me by the arm and ushered me out of there. Then, there was the festival in Albuquerque when Victoria had brought pot backstage to help us relax. It was as if the woman was determined to resurrect every demon I had buried, and I thanked God every day that Jane was my watchdog. I hadn't been tempted by the groupies, and I'd easily turned down the pot, but the last thing I needed was for those rumors to get back to my hometown and to Bella.

Tonight we were in Dallas. We'd been playing a different city almost every night, and the crowds had been energetic and welcoming. I had joined the Eclipse tour in Los Angeles along with five other acts from the label, and there were a few familiar faces that I recalled from my past. We'd all grown a little older, but very few had seemed to grow wiser. During the past few weeks, I'd witnessed several musicians partaking in the temptations of the road – the women, the alcohol, and the drugs. Those dangers were still there, all of them easily accessible and widely available. While my fellow musicians were finding it difficult to avoid the pitfalls, I was finding them very easy to avoid. My mantra was a simple one.

Sing my songs. Do my press. Go to my bus. Talk to my girl.

This had been the routine every night, and while I enjoyed aspects of being on stage under the bright lights, the absolute best part of my day was talking to Bella. We'd gotten creative thanks to instant messaging and Skype, but none of those technological advances were truly enough. I missed her so much, and the first week had been incredibly hard for both of us. Distance had only strengthened my resolve that she was truly the love of my life, and there was no place I'd rather be than back in Forks with the woman I love.

Three months was going to seem like an eternity.

As promised, I wrote in my journal every night. It was mostly just random thoughts about my day concerning the rehearsals, the interviews, or the band. I always ended each journal entry with the same sentence…only the number changed. I closed my pen as I scanned the last sentence of today's page.

_Only twelve days until I see you._

"You're writing again."

Liam, my keyboard player, settled against the leather couch that was nestled along the wall of the bus. Liam Callaghan was originally from Dublin but moved to California about seven years ago. He married Siobhan O'Malley, a groupie he met backstage at a concert in Tampa. He'd played keyboard for a few mainstream acts before his wife decided that a rock-and-roll life wasn't for her anymore. Forced to choose, Liam made the right decision and he and Siobhan moved to Nashville about three years ago where he bought a farm just outside of the city. Until last month, he was making a career as a studio musician, but Jane had convinced him – and his wife – to join me on tour for this first month, hoping their steady influence would keep me on the straight and narrow. They were a little older than me and so much more settled than the rest of the band, and it was nice to have friends who weren't eager to hit the after parties each night. I would really miss him after he played his last show with us in Nashville, but I knew he was eager to get home – just like me.

"How was sound check?" I asked as I closed my journal.

"Good," Liam replied, "although Randall has got to stop thinking with his dick and concentrate on that chord progression in the opening song. The boy has girls hanging all over him, and I know for a fact he has a wife at home."

I sighed tiredly as I grabbed my guitar and strummed a few notes.

"Speaking of wives, where's yours?" I asked over the hum of the guitar.

"Shopping, where else?" Liam chuckled lightly. "She only agreed to go on this tour so that she could hit the malls. She told me this would cost me, and it has."

I laughed just as I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. I hastily placed my guitar on the couch and pulled my phone from my jeans. I looked down at the screen and couldn't keep from smiling.

"Well, that grin on your face is my cue. See you in a couple of hours."

I thanked him and waited until he climbed off the bus before answering.

"Hey, sweetheart."

"Hey," Bella said. "I saw your interview online. I'm so proud of you!"

I couldn't stop smiling.

"Thanks. I can't believe it's already online."

We talked about home and the bookstore, and, despite the excitement of the unveiling of the Internet café, the bookstore's sales were still slipping. During our conversations, I'd begun to notice that Bella's enthusiasm about the store was beginning to change. Instead of being the shop she adored, it was becoming a place that caused her constant heartache. The business aspect of owning a bookstore was draining her – financially and emotionally – and more than once she'd hinted at doing something different with her life.

Tonight was no exception.

"Owning a bookstore was your dream," I reminded her.

"Dreams change. Don't they?"

She was right. My dream had definitely changed.

"I'm just babbling anyway," Bella murmured. "I'm just emotional and tired and I'm missing you so much. I don't feel as optimistic about things when you're so far away from me."

I closed my eyes as I pressed the phone tighter to my ear.

"I know, baby. Just twelve more days."

"Did you just call me baby?"

"Did I?" I chuckled as I tried to remember. "Is that okay?"

"Hmm," Bella sighed. "I love it. Do we still have a Skype date for after your show?"

"Of course. It'll probably be around midnight, though."

"That's okay," Bella said. "Are you sure you don't want to go out with the guys?"

We'd been over this so many times. While she loved the fact that I rushed back to the bus to talk to her after each show, she worried that I wasn't bonding with my band mates.

"I can go out with the guys if you want," I teased gently. "We passed a seedy honky-tonk on the way into town, and I'm sure they'll take some groupies with them."

"Are they really as bad as you say, or are you just making excuses not to go?"

"They're really that bad, except for Liam, and he and Siobhan will be sharing a bunk in the back of the bus as soon as he's off-stage. Trust me, I'll need you as a distraction."

Bella giggled. "Can you…_hear_ them?"

"Yes." I groaned as I looked out the window. "Honestly, I wouldn't care so much if I wasn't so far away from you. But, yes, it's torture. So, if you want me to go with the guys…"

"I don't, really. I just want you to enjoy your time, that's all."

"It's impossible. I just want to come home to you."

We talked for a few more minutes before Jane leapt onto the bus, announcing that it was time to talk to the Dallas Morning News. I promised Bella I'd call her as soon as the show was over, and I couldn't help but notice that while she was as talkative and enthusiastic as always, I could detect a sadness in her voice that was always there when we hung up. She was trying so hard to be strong for both of us, and it only made me love her more.

I moved my guitar off the couch to make room for Jane and the reporter. I was surprised to see Victoria make her way onto the bus as everyone was taking their place on the long couch. Victoria sat directly across from me, and for a split second, our eyes locked. She was staring at me so intently that I thought perhaps I'd said something wrong in the previous interview.

_Have I screwed up already?_

"Edward, this is Selena Taylor from the Dallas Morning News," Jane murmured as she made the rest of the introductions. I nodded politely to the reporter as she turned on her recorder.

"Edward, it's good to see you back on stage," Selena smiled at me. "What's brought you out of hiding?"

This chick doesn't waste any time, does she? Luckily, Jane and I had practiced these types of responses.

"Eclipse made me an offer I couldn't refuse," I grinned, nodding toward Victoria. Her answering grin was wide across her face. She doesn't seem pissed, so why is she here?

I talked with Selena about the tour and my deal with Eclipse before the questions became more personal in nature.

"Your songs tend to be more personal now," Selena remarked. "Has Edward Cullen finally grown up or has he just found his muse?"

"Both," I admitted with a smile, and Victoria cleared her throat – a gentle reminder to always appear available to the adoring public.

"Is that so?" Selena was suddenly bright-eyed. "Edward Cullen has finally found a reason to settle down?"

"I have," I agreed with a soft nod, and I heard Victoria growl. I understood that this was business and I'd agreed to certain conditions, but hiding the fact that I was in love wasn't one of them. Eclipse would just have to get over it.

"Is she in the music business?"

"No, she isn't."

"Move along," Jane murmured kindly. "Edward has two minutes before he needs to get ready for sound check."

While I refused to hide the fact that I was in love, I wasn't quite ready to expose Bella to the shitstorm that accompanied being a musician's girlfriend. The last thing she needed was for the wolves to descend on her little bookshop in hopes of getting a snapshot of Edward Cullen's girlfriend. Disappointed that she wasn't going to get the scoop, Selena asked a few questions about my musical plans for the future, and I answered as vaguely as possible. I felt Victoria's eyes on me, and I made a mental note to ask Jane why the hell Eclipse had felt the need to represent during this interview.

"Thank you, Edward," Selena shook my hand after rising from the couch. "I really am enjoying your new music. I look forward to the show."

"Thank you," I smiled warmly, and Jane led her off the bus. I noticed that Jane didn't leave, however, and I found myself grateful. Victoria was still leering from her spot on the far end of the couch.

"Edward," Jane said sweetly to me. "Why don't you go get dressed while I have a little chat with Victoria?"

Have I mentioned how thankful I was to have this woman on my side?

"Sounds good," I mumbled as I made my way to the back of the bus. I couldn't resist stopping for just a moment so that I could eavesdrop.

"Eclipse doesn't usually send a studio exec to listen-in during interviews," Jane commented dryly. "Do you have a problem with the way I'm handling Edward's press?"

"The studio has a problem with Edward not playing by the rules," Victoria said. "I have told him time and time again that he is to appear single – both on stage and in the press."

"You know, Victoria," I heard Jane murmur. "I don't recall that particular line item being in his contract. Perhaps I need to call Edward's lawyer so that he can help me find it."

"Jane, you know how this business works…"

"I'm pretty sure that Edward's fans are more than capable of accepting that he has a girlfriend, Victoria. The question is can _you_ handle it?"

Victoria gasped. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't think you're that concerned with Edward's fans," Jane remarked. "I saw the way you were looking at him during that interview, and it was far from professional. So I'm warning you, Victoria…Keep your hands off, because if you don't, we will sue your ass for sexual harassment. I know your reputation. It wouldn't be the first time that Eclipse had to null and void a contract because you couldn't keep your hands off their musicians. Don't make me call your boss."

A deathly silence fell across the bus before I heard the distinct sound of the bus door closing. I closed my eyes and let out a gust of air.

"You can come out," Jane murmured. "I know you were listening."

I sighed heavily as I made my way from the back of the bus and toward the couch, collapsing against the cushions.

"Jane, what the hell?"

"Yeah, I was afraid she was going to be a problem," Jane mused quietly as she looked out the window. "She could create a shitload of issues with the studio…with the press…"

"And with Bella," I whispered as I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the couch.

"She knows about Bella?"

I nodded as I slowly opened my eyes. "She's been in Bella's shop."

"Shit," Jane groaned. "Okay, go do your sound check. I'm going to call your woman. If we piss off Victoria, she could fabricate any sort of sleaze, and she and your family need to be warned that this is a possibility. I'll take care of it."

"You'd better," I warned her softly as I grabbed my guitar. "If not, I'll pack my shit and be back in Forks by dawn."

Jane nodded sagely as I escaped the confines of the bus.

* * *

The following days were uneventful as we made our way through the first leg of our tour. We'd played shows in Little Rock, Arkansas and St. Louis, Missouri before finally making a two-day stop in Louisville, Kentucky for a few days of rest. I was thankful for the downtime, and I was happy to be one state away from mine and Bella's reunion, which was only five days from now.

To say I was excited would be an understatement.

Thankfully, Victoria had returned to Los Angeles after the Dallas show, and I was once again indebted to Jane for making her go away. Her lawsuit threat had seemed to do the trick. Bella, of course, had taken the news in stride, assuring me that she'd never believe anything she read anyway. Knowing that she trusted me so completely gave me confidence that we could survive anything if we made it through this.

Once we hit Lexington, Bella had made me promise to get off the bus and actually spend time with my band members, and that was the only reason I was sitting in McCarthy's Irish Bar, next to a smiling Liam and Siobhan who had agreed to join us only when they found out the bar was an homage to their ancestry. The other musicians were lined around the pool tables while the three of us huddled in a booth and tried to remain inconspicuous. It didn't last long, as three very blonde college girls made their way to our table. I glanced at Siobhan who smirked as she wrapped her arm around Liam's neck. Since he was obviously taken and had a wife who could kick their pretty little asses, they suddenly turned their attention to the seemingly single guy at the table.

"Could we get your autograph?" the first blonde asked. "You're Edward Cullen, right?"

"Yeah," I mumbled as I took the Sharpie out of her hand. I looked around for something to sign before she began unbuttoning her blouse.

"What are you doing?" I stammered.

"You need something to sign," the girl grinned in what I assumed was meant to be a sexy smile. She failed horribly.

Siobhan cleared her throat and tossed me a napkin. I hastily scribbled my name on the napkin and tossed it in the girl's direction, effectively ignoring whatever she'd been planning to show me beneath that blouse.

"Thanks," she muttered as she snatched the napkin, and I rolled my eyes as both girls made their way over to the pool tables. Within seconds, she was unbuttoning her blouse again, and this time, she was met with murmurs of appreciation as one of the guys signed her chest.

"Unbelievable," Siobhan muttered as she took a sip of her beer. "These girls need a role model. A respectable groupie would at least introduce herself before flashing her boobs."

I grinned as I finished my drink. Liam eyed my glass condescendingly.

"You're in a fine Irish pub and drinking a soda."

"Yes I am," I declared emphatically as I sloshed the ice around my glass. "If I'd been drinking beer, I'd probably be drunk by now, which means I probably would have let that girl show me her chest."

"You can drink without getting drunk," Liam replied off-handedly.

"Some people can. I am not one of those people, so it's best not to tempt fate."

Liam nodded in understanding and let it go.

We made our way back to the bus around midnight, and I said goodnight to Liam and Siobhan as they made their way back to their love nest. I had gladly given them the master bedroom so that they could have their privacy while on tour. Besides, lying alone in that big bed would only make me miss her more, so I was kind of grateful to have a skinny-ass bunk.

The awesome thing about being in Lexington was that I was now in the eastern time zone, so it was only nine o'clock in Forks. I smiled happily as I snuggled into my bunk and called my girl.

"Hey."

Her voice didn't have its usual happy tone, and my ears immediately perked up.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Nothing now. How was your day off?"

I told her about my day and the pub, and she laughed when I told her about the girl wanting the autograph, but I could tell something was bothering her.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

She sighed heavily. "Some nights are just harder than others, that's all."

"Is tonight one of those nights?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to Skype? We could use the webcam."

It'd been my experience that seeing her face on my screen always made it worse, only because it made me itch to touch her. But still, it was worth the agony just to see her beautiful face.

"It's late there. Aren't you tired?"

I did have an early morning interview with the Lexington Herald, but nothing was more important than making her feel better.

"No, sweetheart. I'm not tired. I want to see you."

"Okay. Give me a sec to get online."

We hung up as I made my way out of the bunk and toward the couch. I turned on the laptop and waited for her name to appear online. There really was nothing like that split second when her face appeared on my screen. It always took my breath away, and this time was no exception. I could see that was wearing my t-shirt and my necklace, and seeing them on her body made me smile. She was lying on her stomach and leaning on her elbows.

"Hi, sweet girl."

"Hey," Bella smiled at me.

"Better?"

"Much."

I smiled at her. "Only four days, baby. We can do it."

"I know we can."

She grinned excitedly, and I was gratified to see that she really did look happy. We talked for a while about the bookstore and our families.

"Don't forget to call the girls tomorrow," Bella reminded me.

"I won't. I hate that I'm missing their birthday party. What did we get them?"

Bella giggled. "Books, of course."

"Of course." I smiled.

"Oh, and a few princess dolls," Bella continued. "I couldn't resist. The party's at three, our time."

"We should be on the road by then," I replied as I tried to remember our itinerary. "I think we're headed to Knoxville tomorrow night."

"You are," Bella grinned. Honestly, she knew my schedule better than I did. "Then you'll be in Nashville."

"And then you'll be with me," I whispered softly. Bella sighed, and after talking for two hours, I could see that her eyes were beginning to grow heavy.

"Go lie down, baby."

"I still love that."

"Love what?"

"When you call me that."

I laughed. "Go to sleep, baby. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"I love you," Bella whispered as she placed a finger on her screen. I sighed as I placed my finger along hers. It was sappy and silly, but neither of us cared. It at least gave us the illusion that we were touching.

"I love you, too."

And I sighed miserably as her sweet face disappeared.

* * *

BPOV

Two nights later, I was happily packing for my trip to Nashville when I heard a knock at my door. I glanced at the clock, surprised that someone would show up at such a late hour. I rushed through the living room and peeked through the peep hole to see Jacob Black standing on the other side of my door.

"It's late, Jacob."

"Just let me in, Bella," he growled, and I had a feeling he'd been drinking. "We need to talk."

"We have absolutely nothing to say to each other. Go away or I'll call the police."

"You do that," Jacob laughed. "Call Daddy to come to your rescue. You can't take care of yourself. You always need some big strong man bailing you out."

My temper flared as I turned the lock. Suddenly, the door flew open and Jacob was standing just inside the door. He smelled heavily of booze, and I took a step back, trying to avoid his penetrating stare. He looked very drunk and very pissed.

"I know it was Edward Cullen who bailed you out at the bank," Jacob sneered. "I don't know how the hell he did it, unless he's gone from _using_ cocaine to dealing the shit."

"Shut your mouth and get out of my house."

His eyes flashed with an expression so primal that it made my stomach lurch. Suddenly, his hands were around my wrists, and it was at that moment that I realized I was in serious trouble.

**Before you leave me a frantic review, let me just say that he ****does not ****rape her. I could never write that, and I would never put you (or me) through that.**

_**McCarthy's Irish Bar**_** is really in Lexington, Kentucky. I should get commission for pimping out these real-life establishments, shouldn't I? I just think it makes the story more authentic if I use actual places.**

**Okay, now feel free to review. Thank you so much. :)**


	16. To Be With You Wherever You Are

**AN: I apologize for the cliffie. Hopefully I'm forgiven. As always, thanks to snarkerella for her awesome beta skills.**

**Thanks to the awesome reader who actually took a picture of the Irish pub in Lexington and sent it to me! :)**

**Chapter title comes from Tracy Chapman's "The Promise." Thanks to rtgirl for the song suggestion! :)**

* * *

Chapter 16

_To Be With You Wherever You Are_

***EPOV***

The crowd exploded with applause as I finished my encore song, and I was thanking them when I felt it.

Pure, unadulterated choking panic that cut through me like a knife.

_Something's wrong._

Dizzy and gasping for air, I rushed backstage and found Jane staring at me with wide eyes.

"Edward?"

"Something's…wrong," I stammered, my breaths coming out in short pants.

Jane's eyes darted around the backstage area, looking for the source of my panic. "What? What's wrong?"

"I don't know." My chest was tight and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. "Something's wrong. Where's my phone?"

Quickly, Jane pulled my cell phone from her pocket, and with shaky hands I found Bella's number and pushed send. After four rings, I heard her sweet voice echo from her answering machine.

"Damn machine!" I growled at the phone. I could vaguely recognize the flash of cameras as the paparazzi got an eyewitness account of my panic attack. Frantically, Jane pulled me by the arm and led me back to the dressing rooms.

"Give me your phone," she instructed briskly, and I passed it to her as I collapsed against the chair. I rocked back and forth, the despair threatening to consume me.

"This is Jane," I heard her murmur into the phone. "You need to find Bella."

* * *

***BPOV***

Jacob's eyes were full of hatred as I struggled to break away from his rigid grasp. His fingers were biting into my skin as he backed me against my living room wall. His face was just inches from mine, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

_Why the hell did I open the door?_

Fear spiked within me as I realized that he could very well attack me, and there would be no one to come to my rescue, since Edward was gone and Charlie was helping with an investigation in Macon.

I was truly all alone.

"Jacob," I whispered, as if I was trying to reason with a caged animal. "Please let go of my wrists. You're hurting me."

His eyes flashed with anger as his body touched mine. The smell of his breath was making me dizzy, and I prayed that I wouldn't faint. I knew that I had to placate him – just long enough to catch him off guard so that I could try to escape.

"Jacob," I murmured again. "Please? Let's talk."

"I am done talking," Jacob growled as he pressed against me again. "All you ever want to do is talk. You say the same shit, Bella. You keep telling me no, and I'm tired of it. You won't go out with me. You would never give me another chance. You wouldn't sleep with me. You wouldn't sell me the bookstore." I winced as he released one of my hands just so that he could trail his finger along my cheek. "All I ever hear from you is no, Bella. Perhaps it's time I stop asking and just take what I want."

"Please, Jacob," I said, trying to control the fear in my voice. "Let's talk about the bookstore. Make me an offer."

Jacob laughed, a low, menacingly laugh that sent shivers up my spine. "It's too late now. Besides, do you _really_ think I pursued your store because I like to read? I couldn't give a shit about your precious bookstore. I'm used to getting my way, and you said no. _Nobody_ says no to me. So it became a game to me…a hunt, and I knew if I could get your bookstore, then I could get _you_."

He dropped my hands and I braced them at my side as he wrapped one of his hands around the back of my neck. I bit my lip and closed my eyes as he trailed his nose against my face. Sickened by his smell and his body pressing against mine, I began to struggle against him, prompting him to grab my arms once again and lift them above my head.

"No one to save you now, baby."

"Get your damn hands off my sister!" a voice boomed from the doorway.

_Emmett! _Sweet relief flowed through me.

Jacob swiftly turned his head toward the voice, and I promptly lifted my knee against his groin. His guttural moan echoed in my ears as he slumped to the ground at my feet.

"You bitch!" Jacob groaned loudly as I flew toward Emmett who caught me in a tight hug.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," I promised him before wrapping my arms around his neck once again. "What are you doing here? How did you know?"

"I didn't," Emmett murmured. "Edward couldn't reach you, so he panicked and called me. I don't know how he knew…."

Jacob was still groaning, and I watched Emmett's eyes turn cold when he focused on Jacob's body on the ground. He released me and rushed toward Jacob, swiftly kicking him repeatedly in the ribs, screaming that he'd kill him if he even thought about touching me again.

"Don't!" I screamed urgently, rushing to his side and pulling on his arm. "Emmett, don't. Let's just call the police."

Emmett's glare was murderous. "If I don't kill him, then Edward will."

"I'll call the station. Charlie's in Macon, but I'll talk to one of the deputies."

"Ask for Steve," Emmett mumbled, his eyes never leaving Jacob's body on the floor. His moans were coming out in short gasps now, and I knew that Emmett had surely broken a few of his ribs.

I quickly called the sheriff's department and asked for Steve, who promised he was on his way.

Jacob called me another name, and before I could blink, Emmett was on the ground and punching him in the face. It only took one hit before Jacob was unconscious.

"Maybe now you'll shut the hell up," Emmett growled as he gave Jacob one last kick in the stomach.

Thankfully, Steve arrived just as Jacob was waking up, and he took my statement while another deputy cuffed him and lead him to a patrol car. Steve informed me that Charlie had been notified and that he was on his way back to Forks. Emmett was on his phone with someone – I could only assume it was Rosalie or his parents. Before hanging up, I heard him mentioning something about possibly needing bail money, and I watched in horror as the second deputy cuffed Emmett's hands behind his back.

"What the hell?" I screamed at the deputy.

"Jacob is pressing charges, Bella," the deputy explained.

"Against Emmett? Then you'll have to take me to jail, too. I was the one who kicked him in the balls!"

"Bella, it's okay," Emmett assured me with a wink. "Charlie will take care of it when he gets in town."

"Steve," I whispered with my tears in my eyes. The deputy was gazing at me with a mixture of fondness. I didn't really know Deputy Steve, but I knew he had a daughter around my age. "Emmett saved me."

"I know he did. Your dad will work it all out, but for now, I have to take him in." Steve's eyes turned to Emmett. "I'm sorry, man."

Emmett shrugged good-naturedly. "It was worth it. Nobody messes with my sister." He turned back toward me and gave me a grin. "You better call my brother, though. He's probably losing his mind."

Overwhelmed with emotion, I tiptoed and kissed Emmett's cheek before Steve led him out to another patrol car. I sighed softly and locked the door behind them just as my cell phone rang. I didn't even have to look at the caller ID.

"I'm okay," I whispered into the receiver as I collapsed against the couch.

"That's good to hear because I was _this_ close to giving him a sedative," Jane replied, the relief evident in her voice. "Here he is."

"I'm coming home," Edward said, and I heard him barking instructions at Jane to get him a plane ticket.

"Baby, I'm okay," I promised him. "Don't come home. You have a concert tomorrow night, and I'll be in Nashville in two days."

"Did he touch you?" His voice was raspy and angry.

"Edward, he didn't hurt me."

"That's not what I asked!" He was furious…his tone heartbreakingly angry. He had never raised his voice to me, and while I knew he was only doing it now because he was so scared, it was truly more than I could bear after such a shitty night. I'd been so strong during the attack, but hearing Edward's harsh tone was my undoing, and I began to cry.

"Shit," Edward whispered miserably, and his tone changed immediately. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Please don't cry. I've just been so scared and I hate that I'm thousands of miles away from you. Just tell me you're okay, and I'll try to calm down."

"I'm okay," I sniffled softly. For the next hour, he coaxed the story out of me, and I could hear the strain in his voice as he tried to keep his emotions in check.

"I'll kill him," Edward whispered menacingly when I'd finished.

"No you won't. We have big plans, Edward, and those plans don't include me visiting you in the state penitentiary. We have a house to build and babies to make, remember?"

Edward sighed heavily. "Tell me you're okay, baby."

"I'm okay," I reassured him. "I'm a little shaken up, but physically I'm fine."

Suddenly, his tone changed once again, but this time, it was soft and commanding.

"You are to keep the door locked at all times, do you understand? Do not open your door for anyone except family."

"Yes."

"And at the store – after closing hours – the door is locked."

"I promise, baby."

"I want you here with me," Edward whispered forcefully, his voice breaking with emotion. I wished I could hold him. I wished he could hold _me_.

"I will be. Two more days, baby."

Suddenly, someone pounded on my door, and I jumped out of my skin. Cautiously, I peeked through the peep hole, and I let out a sigh of relief when I saw my father standing on my porch.

"Dad's here," I told him. "It's late there. Go get some sleep."

"I won't sleep. Call me back as soon as he leaves."

"Okay," I promised.

We hung up and I opened my front door. Charlie's eyes were wild as he stepped inside the door and quickly pulled me into his arms. It wasn't the arms I craved, but nevertheless, I felt safe and protected and loved.

Charlie pulled me over to the couch, and I rested my head on his shoulder. Thanks to Steve and Emmett, he already knew the story and only needed me to fill in a few blanks. I felt the tension radiating from his body as I recalled Jacob's attack, and by the end of our conversation, I was emotionally drained.

"I'm staying here tonight," Charlie announced in a fatherly tone that convinced me there was no use in arguing. "You should try to sleep, Bells."

"I promised Edward I'd call him back," I whispered tiredly, but my father was shaking his head.

"I'll call Edward," Charlie offered. "Go get some sleep."

I handed my father my cell phone, and I hugged him one last time before heading to my bedroom. Grabbing my favorite of Edward's t-shirts and a pair of pajama pants, I headed to my shower.

I refused to go to bed with Jacob Black's lingering scent surrounding me.

I turned on the scalding hot water and let it cascade around me, washing away my sadness and my fear as I shampooed my hair and washed every last inch of my body with Edward's body wash. I closed my eyes as his fragrance flooded my senses, and for the first time in hours, I felt my mind and body relax.

I was lying in my bed a few moments later when Charlie knocked on the door.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Dad. Come on in."

Charlie shuffled into the room and slowly sat down on the edge of my bed. He gazed down at me, and I tried to offer him a smile.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm better now," I admitted quietly. "Thanks for staying."

"Here's your cell," Dad said as he placed it on my nightstand. "Edward is ready to come home and kill Jacob Black." I could just detect a slight smirk on his face. "Edward's a good man, Bella. That boy really loves you."

"I know he does. I love him too, Dad."

Charlie nodded thoughtfully.

"I know you're worried about Emmett. He's been released."

"He has?"

"Yes," Charlie murmured hoarsely. "He saved my baby girl. He doesn't deserve to be behind bars. Jacob was…persuaded…to drop the charges."

"Do I even want to know how he was persuaded?"

"It's better that you don't," Charlie smirked. "Let's just say that his cellmates were very convincing. Emmett Cullen has a lot of friends in this town. Jacob Black…not so much."

I nodded tiredly and felt my eyes grow heavy.

"Sleep now," Charlie whispered. "Oh, Edward sent you a text as soon as we hung up."

"Did you read it?" I giggled sleepily as I reached for my phone.

"Nope," Charlie smirked. "It's all yours." My father stood up and made his way to the door. "Jacob said you kneed him in the balls."

"I did," I grinned. "You taught me well, Sheriff."

Charlie chuckled as he closed the door behind him.

With a weary sigh, I scrolled through all of Edward's panicked text messages until I opened the very last one, sent just moments ago.

_I love you more than life. Sweet dreams, baby._

* * *

**EPOV**

For Bella's protection against the paparazzi, Jane suggested that she pick up her up from the airport in Nashville while I wait back in the hotel suite. My wonderful manager had booked us a room for Bella's three-day stay. We were scheduled for a music festival which would benefit the city's flood relief efforts, and after that, we'd have two glorious days off. While the other musicians were mapping out their plans to play tourists during our two days off, I personally had no desire to leave the sanctity of our hotel room. Nashville's a beautiful city – full of music and history – but I knew there was nothing outside these walls that would make me as happy as holding my girl in my arms.

The last two days had been hell on earth. The panic that had flooded me that night was the most crippling fear I'd ever known. I had known instinctually that something was wrong, and I'd never felt more powerless. Even when I'd been lost in my addictions, I'd never felt the overwhelming helplessness that I'd felt that night. Knowing she was in so much trouble when I was so far away had nearly suffocated me. Her reassurances that she was okay did nothing to satisfy my desire to kill that bastard for daring to lay his finger on her body. Speaking with Charlie made me feel a bit better, especially when he admitted that some of Jacob's cellmates had roughed him up in his cell. It was nice to know that the local criminals in Forks had some standards.

Apparently, you don't mess with a firefighter or the sheriff's daughter.

I couldn't help but wonder how much Jacob's attack had affected Bella. Part of me was afraid to be really close to her this weekend, only because I didn't want to remind of her that night. It was just a couple of nights ago, and while he hadn't done more than touch her face and her wrists, I still wasn't sure if she would want to be close to me. I could live without sex. What I couldn't live without was touching her for three entire days after we'd spent the last month apart. I prayed that Jacob Black wouldn't ruin our reunion, because I certainly didn't need yet another reason to kill him.

A soft knock on the door made me jump, and I quickly ran toward it, not even bothering to check the peep hole. I threw the door open, and my reason for living was standing there, biting her lip and gazing at me with adoring eyes. Her hair was cascading down her shoulders and she was wearing one of my shirts. It didn't fit her at all and hid all of her delectable curves, but I couldn't have cared less, because she was the most beautiful girl in the world, and she was mine.

"Stop staring at each other and get inside," Jane said as she pushed Bella through the door. She walked right to me, and I instantly enveloped her in my arms and held her close to me, letting her sweet scent ground me and relieve the ache I'd felt in my heart for the past month. I kissed the top of her hair as we stood there, our arms wrapped around each other as Jane looked down at her Blackberry and rattled off my schedule for the next three days, but I didn't listen to a word of it.

"Hi, sweet girl," I whispered softly as Jane continued her babbling.

"Hi, baby," Bella smiled as she looked into my eyes. "I missed you."

"I missed you," I murmured as I kissed her forehead. "How was your flight?"

"I slept through most of it," she admitted quietly. Her forehead creased as she looked over my shoulder. "Should we be listening to Jane?"

"Nope. I only want to listen to you."

"Alright you two, I can take a hint. I'm out of here." Jane smirked as she grabbed her laptop and headed toward the door. "If you leave the hotel – which I highly doubt you will – just make sure you let me know first so that I can alert security."

"Thanks, Jane," I replied, never taking my eyes off Bella's face. She was smiling up at me, her eyes glowing with emotion, as I brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes.

"Edward," Jane grinned as she walked past us. "I know your brain is elsewhere right now, but please don't forget that you have a show tonight."

"He won't forget," Bella promised her as she stared into my eyes. "He has an interview with Channel 5 beforehand, as well."

"Very good," Jane chuckled approvingly. "Edward, have I mentioned lately how awesome she is?"

"You don't have to tell me."

Bella smiled shyly as I kissed the tip of her nose.

"See you two in a few hours." Jane grinned as she closed the door behind her.

"Come sit," I murmured softly as I pulled her to the sofa. Bella surprised me by sitting down sideways in my lap. Thankful that she seemed to be okay with our close contact, I pulled her against my chest and cradled her head against me. I buried my nose in her hair as she sighed softly against me.

"God, I missed your smell."

Bella giggled. "I brought you more of my strawberry lotion."

"Thank God. I ran out last week."

She laughed as she tightened her arms around me. "I had to buy a new bottle of your body wash, too."

We spent the next hour talking about anything and everything. I told her about life on the road and how excited I was for her to meet Liam and Siobhan, and she told me all about our family and the bookstore. I was disappointed to hear that the bookstore still wasn't doing very well, and it killed me to hear the sadness in her voice.

"Let's give it some time. When I come back, we'll do some open mic nights in the café…get the teenage crowd in there."

"That could work," Bella smiled up at me as he trailed her finger along bottom lip. "I can't wait until you're home."

"Me too."

Finally, my brave girl told me all about Jacob's attack. She didn't cry, though, and I wondered if she was simply all cried out or if she was just trying to be strong for me.

"Let me see your wrists," I whispered gently.

"No." I took a deep breath as my mind conjured all sorts of torturous methods for disposing of Jacob Black's body. "I don't want you to see them, Edward."

"Let me see," I coaxed softly, and she sighed as she brought both of her wrists into my view.

Somehow, I managed to suppress the growl that was bubbling in my chest as she pointed to the purple bruises around each of her wrists. To know that someone – _anyone_ – had dared to touch her so roughly brought tears to my eyes.

"Oh, sweetheart," I murmured as I took her right hand and placed a soft kiss along her wrist. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

"Shh," Bella whispered as I kissed the bruises on her other wrist. "It's not your fault. You _saved_ me. What made you call Emmett?"

She listened quietly as I explained my panic attack and the overwhelming feelings that had accompanied it.

"Even thousands of miles away, your heart is connected to mine."

"I was so scared," I admitted quietly. I closed my eyes as the memory of the fear cut through me like the sharpest razor. "If he'd hurt you…."

"He didn't," Bella whispered calmly. "He didn't hurt me. I have a few bruises, but they'll fade in time."

"What about emotionally?" I asked, fearing that she'd admit that my closeness was making her uncomfortable. "Bella, if my touch reminds you of his…"

"What?" Bella's eyes widened as she gazed up at me. "Why would you ever think that?"

"I was just worried that being close would make you remember him. I didn't know how close you'd let me be, and that's okay. As long as I can hold you in my arms, just like this…"

Swiftly, Bella turned around in my lap. She placed both of her hands on each side of my face and stared into my eyes.

"Is that why I've been in this hotel room for over an hour and you've yet to kiss me?"

I lowered my head, but she wasn't having it. She quickly lifted my face so that I would be forced to look at her.

"Edward, he pushed me against a wall and grabbed my wrists. It was terrible, and it was scary, but that's all he did. I could never, ever, mistake your touch for his."

Bella grabbed my hands and placed them along her face. She turned her head and kissed the palm of my hand, and I felt my body come to life as she leaned close and nuzzled her face against my neck.

"Touch me," she whispered softly against my ear.

I closed my eyes as I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer to me. She placed soft, open-mouth kisses against my neck, and I moaned as her pelvis connected with mine.

"I've missed you so much," I murmured roughly as I ran my hands through her hair. "I've missed your smell…your voice…your body…the way you moan when I do this…" I leaned down and ran my tongue along the shell of her ear, and I was rewarded with that beautiful sound.

"I've missed your lips," Bella whispered against my cheek. "I've traveled over two thousand miles to have your lips on me."

She pressed her forehead against mine and smiled sweetly as her eyes fell to my mouth. My breath was coming out in short gasps as her fingers trailed along the outline of my lips. I pulled her finger into my mouth and sucked gently, and she whimpered.

"Kiss me, please…"

I wrapped my hands in her hair and pulled her head closer to mine. Placing soft kisses along her eyelids…her cheek…along the side of her neck.

"Your lips are so soft," I murmured gently against her mouth.

"So help me God if you don't kiss me," Bella warned breathlessly, and I surrendered, pulling her tight against me and crashing my mouth to hers. It wasn't the sweet, soft kiss I wanted to shower upon her when we finally reunited. These kisses were desperate and hungry.

They were perfect, just like her.

"Make love to me," she whispered softly against my mouth.

I lifted her off the couch and carried her to the bedroom, laying her gently against the white satin comforter. She was so beautiful, and innocent, and sexy, and she truly had no idea the effect she had on me. I watched, mesmerized, as she rose onto her knees and began to slowly unbutton her blouse. Each undone button exposed just a tiny sliver of skin, and it was all I could do not to launch myself at the bed. Bella slowly let the shirt fall off her shoulders, and my eyes trailed over her pale pink bra as she slipped her hands around her back and unhooked it, letting it fall. We unbuttoned our jeans at the same and my eyes never left her skin as her jeans and her matching pink panties fell onto the floor.

"Come here," Bella whispered softly.

I quickly pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it over my shoulder as she pulled me onto the bed. My body covered hers as her lips found mine, and for the first time in over a month, I was home.

"I love you," I whispered tenderly, and we swallowed each other's moans as we moved…slowly erasing the sadness of our separation with our hungry kisses and our gentle touches.

Time and distance had done nothing to diminish my desire for this woman, and when we came together just minutes later, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this girl was made for me. She was put on this earth for me. She was my home. My warm, sweet, loving home. I could never deserve her – no matter how hard I tried – but I was going to worship her for the rest of my life.


	17. The Reason for Everything That I Do

**AN: Lots of love to all of you and to Snarkerella for being my awesome beta.**

**Chapter song is James Morrison's "Better Man." Thanks, Scrimmy.**

**Chapter 17**

_**The Reason for Everything That I Do**_

* * *

BPOV

"Amazing, isn't it?" Siobhan whispered in my ear, as she nodded toward the crowd. We'd been standing backstage for nearly two hours, watching the various acts play their sets. I couldn't help but grin as my eyes floated across the audience inside Nashville's Bridgestone Arena. I'd never seen so many people in my life, and right now, all of their eyes were gazing at our men.

Edward had been nervous to play in front of so many people. His concerts were usually played in smaller venues with less rowdy crowds, but Eclipse had been asked to participate in the festival to help with the city's flood relief efforts, and Jane had encouraged Edward to contribute. The exposure was good for business, and most importantly, it was a way to give back to the city and to the fans. Of course, he'd happily agreed, he was just nervous. His apprehension wasn't necessary, however. I could see his fans standing in the first few rows, gazing at him adoringly. Of course, they were all female and hoping to get their hands on him, but I couldn't find it in me to be jealous. Between each song, he'd look back at me and wink, making no secret of who he'd be taking home tonight.

"Tonight is special," Edward told the crowd as the band prepared for the next song. "We're here to celebrate this beautiful city." Thunderous applause swept through the arena, and I giggled as a couple of beach balls floated in the air. "Also, tonight is the last night that my keyboardist will be with me. He makes his home in Nashville, and his sweet wife says it's time to come home." Siobhan giggled beside of me as Liam and Edward exchanged grateful nods to each other. I watched as one of the guys in the band brought Edward a stool, and the lights dimmed, the blinding glow of the spotlights only focusing on Liam and Edward on stage.

"Also, tonight, I am honored to have my girlfriend with me. She flew three thousand miles to see me." He winked at me as the crowd roared with applause. "So, for our last song together, Liam and I would like to dedicate this to the two most beautiful women in the world. It's a cover of a James Morrison song, so please sing along if you know it. You can help us serenade our girls."

Siobhan and I giggled as the acoustic guitar and Liam's piano opened with the opening bars of "Better Man." I watched the soft blue of the lights as they surrounded Edward's handsome face as he began to sing.

_There was a time I had nothing to give  
I needed shelter from the storm I was in  
And when it all got too heavy _

_You carried my weight  
And I want to hold you  
And I want to say_

That you are all that I need  
For you, I give my soul to keep  
You see me, love me  
Just the way I am  
For you I am a better man…

Of course, Siobhan and I were both sobbing messes by the end of the song, but my tears were comprised of so much more than just adoration for this man's song. I was so proud of him. He'd come home this tortured, dark soul but now he was here, singing in front of twenty thousand people. I was in awe of the man he'd become. He had cast out his demons and risked his peace of mind just to help us carve out a life of our own back in our sleepy little town.

After the concert, Edward exchanged hugs and goodbyes with Liam and Siobhan, and they made us promise to visit them as soon as the tour was over. It was obvious that they'd become close over the past month. The other musicians were younger and a bit wild, so Siobhan and Liam had provided Edward with stability and some much-needed friendship while he'd been out on the road. It was sad that they were no longer going to be a part of Edward's musical life. I feared that his next two months on the road would be difficult for him without their company.

After the show, Edward did a meet and greet thing backstage. It was funny watching all of these starry-eyed girls blushing as they asked for his autograph. He was really sweet with everyone, and he sat there and signed anything and everything (minus the body parts) for over three hours. It was after midnight when Jane finally announced that he was finished.

Cloaked by security, we headed through the tunnel to our car. As we reached the black car, Jane turned and hugged each of us.

"You have a flight to Minneapolis in two days," she reminded Edward. "The ticket and itinerary are in your bag."

"Got it," Edward nodded as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

Jane smiled at me. "It was good to see you, Bella. I've already ordered your plane ticket for his last show in Ontario. He's doing great, isn't he?"

"Of course he is," I grinned up at him.

"Two days off. Whatever will you guys find to do?" Jane winked as she climbed into the backseat of her car.

Swiftly, Edward led me to our own car, and the driver had barely closed the door before he was pulling me into his lap and peppering my face with kisses.

"Wow," I giggled as his lips found my neck. "Are you always this…excited after a show?"

Edward grinned as he played with a strand of my hair. "I'm only excited because you're here." He kissed me sweetly before pressing his forehead to mine. "So, love of my life, what would you like to do for the next two days?"

I sighed happily. "I want to spend every single second with you. Other than that, I could care less what we do. If we never leave the hotel, I'll be a happy woman."

"You don't want to see the city?"

I shrugged. "We'll come back someday. We'll see the city then."

Edward smiled mischievously. "You're insatiable."

"I beg to differ," I murmured as I turned in his lap and pressed my chest to his. I laced my fingers along his neck as his arms encircled my waist. "We've been in this car for an entire two minutes and I haven't jumped you yet."

"No, you haven't, and that's just not acceptable at all."

We completely ignored the driver and made out like teenagers until the car came to a stop. Coming up for air, we both looked out the window and saw that we were already at the hotel.

"Mr. Cullen, your security team is waiting at the entrance," the driver announced with a smirk. "Would you like for me to drive around the city for a few more minutes while you take advantage of that poor girl or are you two ready to have some privacy?"

Blushing, I buried my face against Edward's neck.

"We're sorry, Max," Edward replied with a grin. "Yes, we're ready to go inside."

"Don't apologize. It's good to see two people in love. I'll just get your doors."

We thanked Max and he wished us a good night as a score of security guards quickly surrounded us. They led us through the back entrance to the hotel and through a service elevator leading to our floor. The doors opened to even more security officers smiling politely and professionally and cloaking us until we'd made our way into our suite. I giggled as Edward stuck the _Do Not Disturb_ sign on the door before locking it. He had barely turned around before I was running toward him and leaping into his arms. Edward laughed as I encircled my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, but our mutual laughs died as he pressed his forehead against mine and stared at me as if I was his reason to breathe.

"Jane arranged something for us," Edward murmured softly, and he slowly carried me toward the bathroom where the smell of lavender filled the air and candles were flickering in the darkness. A bubble bath was awaiting us.

"She's good," I grinned as my feet touched the floor.

"She takes good care of me," Edward whispered as we began undressing each other. "She knows how much I've missed you…how much I've needed you. Tonight was my very best show, and it's obvious why."

"Why?"

"Because you were there," Edward murmured against my ear. "I was finally whole again."

He took me by the hand and helped me into the massive tub. He climbed in behind me, and I leaned back against his chest as the warm water enveloped us. We took turns washing each other as we talked about the last month of our lives. I was so thankful to hear that he'd never once been tempted to drink. I had never really worried about other women, but I couldn't deny that I'd been concerned about alcohol and drugs. I knew out of all of his demons, those would be the most tempting, especially during his loneliest times. I knew that I had Jane, Liam, and Siobhan to thank for keeping him grounded during this last month.

"It wasn't just them," Edward said softly as he ran the sponge along my stomach. "Talking with you each night was just as important in keeping me sane. Knowing I had you waiting at home kept me focused on the music and nothing else. Some of these guys are married with kids, and yet, I watch them take girls back into their dressing rooms after a show. Now that I'm older – and deeply in love with you – it just seems so unbelievable to me that they'd risk their marriage for a quickie on a smelly couch with a girl they'll never see again."

"Maybe they don't really love their wives," I whispered gently.

"Maybe," Edward moved my hair away from my shoulder and placed a kiss there. "The life of a musician can be very lonesome, Bella. I know it sounds unbelievable considering I just played my songs in front of twenty thousand screaming fans, but it's the truth. At the end of the show, those bright lights fade, and you find yourself wired on adrenaline and all alone. It's like going from feast to famine within a two hour timeframe, and sometimes, you need something to make you feel like you aren't so alone in the world.

"Have you felt that way?"

"At times," Edward admitted quietly. "Why do you think I text or email you at four in the morning? Sometimes I miss you so much it hurts."

"But you've held it together…"

"I have," Edward murmured as he kissed the side of my neck. "I haven't been tempted by my old vices, but I have been lonely."

I understood that. I'd been lonely, too. The nights were the hardest. During the day, I could busy myself in the bookstore or with our families, but at night, it was just me – wrapped in Edward's t-shirts and his body wash.

"So have I," I confessed.

"I know, baby," Edward's arms tightened around me as he ran the sponge over my neck. Sighing, I leaned my head back against his shoulder. "How do you handle it?"

"I journal a lot," I replied with a grin. "You're going to have so much to read when you get home."

Edward chuckled. "I can't wait to read it. I've journaled, too."

"You have?"

"Every night," he assured me as he kissed my shoulder. "I tend to write about the most random things. You're probably going to be bored to tears when you actually read it."

"Never," I giggled. "I can't wait."

We moved onto happier subjects as we continued taking turns washing each other with the sponge. We talked about the house and how he couldn't wait to get home and find a contractor, although he really wanted to do a lot of the work himself. I was stunned to find out that the land was actually owned by my father and that he planned to gift it to us as a wedding present.

"I guess that means we'll have to get married," I teased.

Edward's arms tightened around me as he nuzzled my ear. "I guess so. Would you like for me to find a twenty-four hour wedding chapel? I'm sure this city has one."

"Our families would kill us, and you know it."

"It'd be our secret," Edward murmured as his mouth roamed along the shell of my ear. "Something just for us."

"We can't," I whispered quietly.

"Why not?" Edward's voice was like honey as his nose trailed through my hair. "You told me that you'd say yes whenever I proposed."

"And I will," I promised him as I rinsed the soap from our legs. "Just don't propose tonight."

"Why?"

Sighing, I quickly climbed out of the tub and dried myself off, tying a robe around me. Edward followed my lead, and I blew out the candles before making my way toward the bedroom. I walked toward the window and looked out at the Nashville skyline as I tried to make sense of my jumbled thoughts.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Don't talk marriage to me just because you've missed me for the past month."

"Is that what you think?"

I exhaled a deep breath as I turned around in his arms. "Am I wrong?"

His green eyes were blazing into mine. "Bella, I've wanted to marry you since the first time I saw you sitting in our meadow. I _was_ just teasing about the twenty-four hour wedding chapel. You deserve the wedding of your dreams, and I want to see your father walk you down the aisle, but I am serious about marrying you."

"I'm serious about marrying you, too," I said. "I just panicked, I guess. We were talking about loneliness, and I was afraid you were only talking marriage because you'd missed me."

"I _have_ missed you," Edward murmured tenderly, "but that has nothing to do with wanting to marry you."

"Okay." I smiled up at him.

"I'm curious, though. If I'd proposed tonight…"

"I would have said yes," I whispered. "So please don't ask."

Edward grinned as he pulled me by the hand toward the bed. I climbed into his lap as his eyes glanced down at my robe. His fingers played with the sash before tugging it open, and I sighed as his hands ghosted across my bare skin.

"Do you know how much I love you?" He murmured tenderly as his lips trailed against my collar bone. "How crazy I am about you?"

"Show me," I sighed softly.

It wasn't the first time we'd made love since my arrival, but it was the first time that we had the luxury of taking our time, exploring and rediscovering. Every kiss made me whimper, and every touch made him moan.

* * *

EPOV

Bella's soft snores mingled in the darkness. She was lying on her stomach, the satin sheet wrapped around her torso, as she slept peacefully by my side. I trailed my fingers along her bare back, loving that she was close enough to touch. It was the middle of the night, but I was too happy to sleep. I didn't want to miss a moment with her, and while I knew I'd have to sleep eventually, I just couldn't bear to close my eyes when I finally had the chance to gaze at her. Did she truly have any idea how much I loved her? Could she possibly comprehend how irrevocably she'd altered me? She couldn't possibly, but I was determined to spend the next two days – and then the rest of my life – proving it to her.

Suddenly, the serenity of our night was shattered by loud pounding on the door and Jane's insistent voice.

"What the hell?" Bella muttered, jumping up and wrapping the sheet around her.

I leapt off the bed and quickly tied my robe around me as I ran toward the door. I'd barely unlocked the door before Jane rushed through, her eyes wide with panic.

"Why the hell is your phone off?" Jane shouted as she hurried inside. She raced toward the bedroom.

"I turned if off once we were inside the room," I explained as I followed her. "Why? What's wrong?"

Jane's eyes settled on Bella sitting up in my bed, and I noticed the sadness in my manager's eyes.

"It's bad. It's so bad."

"What's bad?" Bella's voice was panicked now. Jane looked away and I rushed to Bella's side of the bed, tossing the sheet aside and wrapping her in her robe.

"Your entire family has been trying to reach you. They finally called me. Here…" She quickly thrust two plane tickets into my hands. "You have a six o'clock flight to Seattle. It was the earliest I could get. You have to be in Minneapolis in two days, but I knew there was no way in hell you'd let her go home by herself."

"Jane, what the hell is going on? Why are we going to Seattle?"

Panic flooded me. Something was wrong. Was it Charlie? My parents? The twins?

"You're going home," Jane murmured softly as her gaze fell onto Bella once again. "Bella, it's the bookstore."

"The bookstore?"

"It's been burned to the ground."


	18. From the Ashes

**AN: I love my readers. Most said, "It's bad that the bookstore burned, but that means she can go on tour with him now, right?" lol**

**Chapter title comes from Martina McBride. Beautiful song!**

* * *

Chapter 18

_From the Ashes_

* * *

EPOV

Bella was standing in the middle of the rubble, her face turned toward the sky as a soft sheet of rain blanketed her features. I found it morbidly ironic that it was raining now. It came about twelve hours too late.

She refused to go to the car and ignored Charlie's offer of an umbrella, content to just stand there, hair matted to her face and clothes dripping wet, as she walked through the debris. She'd pulled a few books from the ruins and had actually taken the time to dust the ash from the covers before dropping them back onto the ground. We'd been inhaling the lingering smoke for hours, but Bella refused to leave. An hour ago, she asked us to stop hovering, so Charlie and I had retreated to his squad car and just numbly sat there, staring through the rain-splattered windshield and watching the girl we both loved more than anything else walk through the remains of her lifelong dream.

"Emmett suspects arson," Charlie mumbled.

"So do I."

As if I already didn't have enough reasons to kill Jacob Black. First, he dared to touch my girl and then he torched her bookstore. There wasn't a jury anywhere that would sentence me.

"They really tried to save it," Charlie explained quietly. "Witnesses said it just went up so quickly…by the time Emmett and the fire department arrived, it was too late to save. They were able to contain it just enough to save the building next door."

I glanced at Lucy's Flower Shop and was grateful to see that it had withstood the flames.

"Emmett says the fire marshal will be here tomorrow to investigate," Charlie continued. "He's coming from Olympia. Once the investigation is complete, the insurance money should cover the cost of rebuilding."

I nodded blankly as I remembered that I had a flight to catch late tomorrow night. How could I possibly leave her to face this alone? Sensing my turmoil, Jane had been calling nonstop. While she was worried about Bella, I also knew that she could detect that I was considering not returning to the tour. Sure, I'd be in breech of contract and they'd sue me, but I was needed here.

Of course, if I'm in prison, the tour won't matter in the least.

"I know what you're thinking," Charlie grunted as we watched Bella sit down on a cinder block among the rubble.

"What am I thinking?"

Charlie sighed softly. "Same thing I'm thinking, but neither of us can do it. She's going to need us. Who is going to take care of her if we're both sitting in jail?"

"You don't seriously think that I'm going to let him get away with this?"

"I'm hoping the investigation, combined with the charges surrounding Bella's attack, will be enough to put Jacob Black behind bars for a very long time," Charlie whispered gravely.

"Not good enough," I muttered low.

"Son, listen to me," Charlie mumbled. "I understand how you feel. Don't you think that I want to shoot the bastard between the eyes for laying his hands on my daughter? And now this…"

"Good, so you understand."

"Of course, I understand. Something else that I understand is that my daughter loves you and she's going to need you to keep your temper in check. She'd hate me forever if I had to arrest you. _I'd_ hate me forever if I had to arrest you."

"He needs to pay, Charlie."

"I know," Charlie nodded. "We don't know that he actually set the fire, but I'm confident he was the mastermind behind it."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Oh, I'm sure he didn't light the match himself, but there's no doubt in my mind that he was calling the shots."

Charlie nodded as turned on the cruiser's windshield wipers. "The rain is really picking up. You should probably go get her."

I sighed heavily as I climbed out of the car and slammed the door behind me. I jogged quickly toward the debris and then slowed my steps as I stepped carefully through the charred remains. Bella's eyes were ghosting across the debris when I made my way to her side.

"Let's go home, baby," I whispered softly as I kneeled to the ground.

The rain was pouring now, but I could still see the tears on her face as they streamed down her cheeks. She looked at me with an expression that tore my heart into pieces. I had never seen my girl so sad. The day I'd left for the tour was the unhappiest I'd ever seen her, but it didn't compare at all to the melancholy that I could see in the pools of her brown eyes.

Jacob Black was a dead man.

"I'm going to take care of this," I murmured softly against her cheek, "and I'm going to take care of you."

Bella nodded as I scooped her into my arms, and cradled her head against my chest as I carried her out of the rubble and into the backseat of her father's car. I climbed into the back and pulled her into my lap. She clung to me as she cried, and I stroked her hair and held her close as Charlie drove us home.

* * *

"Edward, I have to advise you not to do this," Jane sighed on the other end of the phone. "I understand it, I really do, but if you want to keep Eclipse happy, you must fulfill the remainder of your contract. That includes these Northern tour dates."

"Tell them it's a family emergency," I muttered.

Jane exhaled a heavy sigh. "I can probably get you out of a few stops, but most likely just a week's worth."

"A week is better than nothing," I replied. "The fire marshal is on his way, and there will be the hassle with the insurance company. I just can't leave her right now."

"I understand," she said. "Look, once you get things squared away, why don't you bring her out on the road with you? It'll keep you focused and get her out of Forks for a while."

"Seriously?"

"Yes," Jane said. "Let me call Eclipse and see what I can work out. They might ask you to extend a week to fulfill your tour contract."

As long as Bella could travel with me, I didn't care how long they extended it.

"Thanks, Jane."

"Oh, and Edward? Please don't kill anybody. I don't have time to bail you out of jail, and I _really _don't have time for a murder trial."

I hung up the phone without promising her a thing.

I made my way back into my parents' house and found Bella on the couch, surrounded by my two nieces. Everyone was being really quiet and trying not to hover, but it was hard to explain the stages of grief to four year olds. Bella didn't seem to mind being sandwiched between them, and each little girl held one of Bella's hands. I walked behind her and placed a kiss on her head as I made my way to the chair directly across from them.

"Are you sad, Bella?" Claire asked softly.

Bella smiled down at the little girl. "Yes, I'm a little sad."

"Don't be sad," Katie replied gently as she patted Bella's hand. "Uncle E will build you a new bookstore. Won't you, Uncle E?

"You bet," I murmured softly. Bella's eyes were glistening with tears as she smiled sadly at me. She looked so exhausted, and I knew putting up a brave front in front of the girls was wiping her out. The flight had been a long one and we'd spent hours at the bookstore before coming here. She'd been surrounded by family every second, and the constant attention was taking its toll.

"Girls," I murmured as I rose from my chair. "It's getting late and Bella is tired. I'm going to go tuck her in, okay?"

Actually, I wasn't leaving her side, but I didn't want to explain that to my nieces.

"Okay," the girls said in unison. The twins climbed onto their knees and kissed each of Bella's cheeks before running into the kitchen to find their mom.

"I'm not sleepy," Bella smiled softly as I offered her my hand. She took it anyway, and I led her up the stairs to my bedroom.

"You have to be," I whispered as I pulled her toward my bathroom. "Come shower with me."

Very slowly, I peeled her out of her clothes and turned on the shower. We both smelled like smoke, and I knew a hot shower would relax her. I pulled off my t-shirt and jeans and added them to hers on the floor before taking her hand and pulling her into the shower.

"Turn around," I whispered, and I watched as the water cascaded down her long, brown hair. I grabbed my shampoo and squirted some into my hand before gently massaging her scalp. She sighed softly as my fingers slipped through her hair. I took my time washing her, letting my fingers gently massage the muscles in her shoulders and down her back. The shower rinsed the suds away, and she turned in my arms, wrapping her arms around me as I washed my own hair. When I opened my eyes, she was staring up at me with a look so broken that my knees nearly buckled.

Carefully, we climbed out of the shower and took turns drying each other off. Then, I lifted her onto the vanity and I grabbed the hairdryer. Bella had a lot of hair, and I didn't realize how time consuming it would be to dry, but she sat patiently as I did so. Once it was finally dry, I lowered her to the floor, grabbed a brush, and pulled her over to the bed. She let me dress her in one of my t-shirts before I climbed behind her, pulling her back against my chest. I placed a soft kiss on her shoulder before taking the brush and running it carefully through her hair.

"I love your hair," I whispered softly as I watched the bristles flow through the strands. "Have I ever told you that?"

"Yes," she whispered, the first words she'd uttered since we'd come upstairs.

I smiled softly as I carefully brushed each and every hair on her head. Bella was a very independent woman, so I was thrilled that she was allowing me to take care of her this way.

"All done," I murmured, placing a soft kiss on the side of her neck. Bella nodded slowly, and I climbed back against the bed, pulling her with me as I lay back against the blanket. She snuggled against me as I held her close, pressing tender kisses to her face. She tilted her head toward me, and I gazed into her heartbreakingly sad eyes.

"I'm feeling so guilty," Bella whispered timidly.

"Why in the world would you feel guilty?"

Bella dropped her gaze from mine. "Because a part of me is a little relieved that it's gone."

I watched her face as I tried to make sense of that confession. Sadness I could understand. But relief?

"I'd always wanted to own a bookstore," Bella whispered softly, looking up at me once again. "They'd been my favorite places when I was a child, and I wanted to recreate that feeling. To me, bookstores were magical places that held my favorite stories, and I wanted to surround myself with those stories because they made me feel connected to my mother. But to actually _own _a store and have my financial stability rely on its success…" Bella's voice dropped as tears sprang into her eyes. "…the stress just erased whatever joy the store brought me. The bookstore used to be my sanctuary, but it became this huge burden, and my heart just wasn't in it anymore."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered, stroking her cheek softly.

"I really only realized it when you left for the tour," Bella murmured through her tears, "and then I felt _more_ guilt because you'd signed that deal to save my store…"

"That isn't the only reason I signed it," I assured her. "It was the catalyst, but it wasn't the only reason. I think I still would have gone, even if just to secure the songwriting deal. If I hadn't gone, I would have had to have found a regular, soul-sucking nine to five job…or worse, I would've had to move away from here. I don't regret going on tour because it's only going to mean good things for our future."

"You aren't mad?" She asked quietly, a lone tear falling from her eye.

"Of course not, baby. Dreams change," I reminded her with a smile. "I've been discouraged with my music through the years because I felt pressured to perform or to write. It's hard to be creative when a record company is breathing down your neck, screaming about ticket sales or music charts. So yes, I understand completely."

"But you still do it," Bella whispered sadly. "You found a way to do what you love."

"Yes, but look how long it took me," I murmured. "Look what I put myself and my family through for over a decade. It took complete failure to get me to this point. I don't want that for you, baby. We'll figure out a way for you to do what you love."

"I thought about teaching," Bella smiled softly. "Or maybe a school librarian? I love kids, and I'd still get a paycheck, but at least I wouldn't have to rely on selling books in order to pay the bills. I could still be surrounded by books and my mother's memory."

"Plus, your mom was a professor," I reminded her with a grin. "So really, you would be honoring her. I think it's a great idea, if that's what you really want to do."

Her face looked peaceful now, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders. "I will miss the store, though. I made a lot of memories there…the best of which were with you."

"We'll make new memories," I promised her as I kissed her forehead.

She smiled as she snuggled into my side. "I still want to know what happened – whether it was an accident or if it was arson."

I nodded as I pressed a kiss to her hair. "The fire marshal will be here tomorrow. Hopefully we'll know something then."

"What time is your flight?"

"I'm not leaving – not until this is figured out."

"Can you do that?" Bella asked softly.

"I'm doing it," I promised her. "Jane will work it all out. Don't worry."

I didn't mention that Jane was encouraging me to bring Bella out on the road to finish the tour. I decided to save that conversation for another night.

"Sing me to sleep?" Bella whispered softly as she snuggled against my chest.

I smiled. "Any requests?"

"It doesn't matter," Bella yawned tiredly. "I love anything you sing."

"Okay," I whispered as I kissed her forehead. "Sleep now, sweetheart."

I picked a random song and started to sing as I held her tight against me, and she was sound asleep before I made it to the first chorus.

* * *

The site of the fire was bustling with activity when I arrived just after noon the next day. I'd somehow convinced Bella to go to Port Angeles with my mom and the girls for the afternoon while Emmett, Charlie, and I dealt with the fire investigators.

"Edward, this is Jason Jenks, the state fire marshal," Emmett announced.

I extended my hand and he shook it firmly. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," Mr. Jenks replied as he glanced over the debris. "Sorry it couldn't be under better circumstances. My wife is a big fan of yours."

I nodded politely. "I appreciate that. Thank her for me."

"I'll do that," Jenks nodded. "I understand this was your girlfriend's bookstore?"

"That's right."

"My team is sifting through the rubble now. Emmett tells me that the bookstore wasn't doing well financially. You understand that doesn't exactly bode well when arson is concerned…"

I stiffened. "Meaning?"

"Meaning this could be misconstrued as an owner's attempt to collect on the insurance."

"Well, that's not the case here," I assured him, trying to not be pissed that he'd even consider such a thing.

"I'm sure it's not," Jenks replied with a nod. "I just wanted to make you aware of the possible speculation. The insurance company is going to require substantial evidence before paying the claim."

Emmett scoffed. "I've seen a lot of fires, and I'm confident this was arson."

"That may be," Jenks confirmed. "Whether it was arson isn't really important as far as the insurance company is concerned. What's important is _who_ set the fire."

"Then I guess you and your team better get busy," I replied darkly.

Jenks nodded as a couple of men from his team approached him.

"They'll figure it out," Emmett replied as he slapped me on the shoulder. "I'm gonna go talk to the fire chief."

I nodded grimly as I watched the investigators sift through the rubble of Bella's bookstore. Witnesses and firefighters were interviewed by the team, and one of the earliest firefighters on the scene indicated that the stockroom door was open when they'd arrived and that the smoke was dark black. This seemed important to the investigators, and when I questioned Emmett about it, he explained that in wooden structures, the presence of thick, black smoke usually indicated the use of an accelerant, typically gasoline. An open door would aid in ventilation, and this would help the fire spread faster.

"Bella never, ever opened those doors," I told Emmett. "She said that they were hard for her to close because they were so heavy, so she didn't bother with them. Deliveries were always made through the front."

Emmett passed that information on to the fire marshal, and I watched him write it down on his legal pad. After three hours, I told Emmett I was going to walk down the street and grab some lunch. I noticed that Subway was crowded with kids, so I decided to suck it up and head to Newton's Diner. Thankfully, it wasn't that busy, and I ordered a burger from the waitress before checking my phone for messages. Ten minutes later, my lunch was delivered, and I glanced up to thank the waitress. Imagine my surprise when I realized that it was the owner himself placing my plate on the table.

"That's on the house," Mike nodded at me. "How's Bella?"

"Thanks," I nodded as he sat down in the chair next to me. "Bella's doing okay. She's pretty shaken up."

"No doubt," Mike muttered as he glanced out the window. I'd never noticed before, but you could see the back of Bella's store from the diner…or, what _used_ to be Bella's store. All you could see now was rubble.

"She's a nice girl. She didn't deserve this."

"No, she didn't," I agreed quietly. "The investigators are sifting through the remains now, trying to figure out how it started."

Mike's breathing accelerated and he began fumbling with his hands. Confused, I took a bite of my burger and watched him carefully as he tore a napkin into little pieces.

"Mike?"

"What?" He muttered absent mindedly as he continued staring out the window, his eyes avoiding me. I leaned back in my chair and quietly observed him.

_He knows something._

I had never really liked Mike Newton, but right now, he was my new best friend.

"It really is sad," I replied as I pretended to enjoy my burger. I was determined to choke it down if it meant he'd talk to me. "If someone is going around setting businesses on fire, that person really needs to be stopped. I would really hate to see this happen to someone else."

His eyes flickered to mine, and I could see the fear there. Suddenly, his face looked determined, and he glanced over his shoulder before leaning close to me.

"Did you know that Jacob Black was released on bail yesterday afternoon?" Mike asked quietly.

The fucker made _bail_?

"No, I didn't."

"Neither did I," he muttered with a whisper. "That is, not until I saw him running out the back door of Bella's bookstore last night."

_Jackpot._

* * *

Jenks took Mike's statement, who apologized to all of us for not coming forward sooner. He was risking Jacob Black's wrath by coming forward now, but he was willing to take the chance.

"I'll put some men at the diner," Charlie promised him. "Around the clock."

"Thanks, Charlie," Mike said, the relief evident in his voice.

The data collected by the investigators already pointed toward arson, and Mike's statement provided us with the suspect. I sent a quick text to Bella telling her that I loved her and that the investigation had gone very well. The girls wanted to see a movie, so she and mom were headed into the theater. Still, she wanted details, and I promised to explain everything when she got home.

By six, the crowd had dissipated and only Emmett and I remained. I was kicking at a book that had somehow survived the destruction when Em made his way toward me. Silently, we glanced around at the ruins. He suddenly clasped me on the shoulder. I looked at him, and he looked at me – his blue eyes piercing with anger. I'm sure the fury within them matched my own.

"So we're kicking some ass, right?"

I took one last, long look at the rubble, and I nodded.

"Yes, we are."

* * *

**I did some arson research, but my apologies if I've taken some liberties here. I'm sure it takes much longer to do an investigation, but I didn't see any reason to drag it out. There is ass kicking to be done, after all.**

**As always, let me hear your thoughts. :)**


	19. I Am Mending

**AN: Your reviews warm my heart. I am so sorry that I don't reply to more of them, but I sincerely read each and every one of them.**

**Thanks as always to snarkerella for making this look so pretty.**

**Chapter song comes from Sia's "My Love."**

* * *

Chapter 19

_I Am Mending_

**EPOV**

The area of La Push never failed to amaze me in its beauty and simplicity. Crystal clear beaches lined the shore of the reservation – a Quileute community steeped in the traditions of its people. The Blacks were descendants, but had chosen a life outside of the tribe, and that decision had brought Jacob Black to Forks High School.

Jacob had been an egotistical ass from the moment he walked through the doors of the school. He made sure everyone knew that he was a spoiled rich kid, bragging about his restored Mustangs and designer clothes. Because of his arrogance, he'd made few friends in school, but he had been renowned for throwing some rowdy parties with his cousins down on the reservation, so most of our Friday nights had been spent down at the beach. His cousins were actually good guys, and we'd struck up a friendship that continued to this day. Of course, blood is thicker than water – so Emmett and I were prepared to piss off the tribe tonight.

Of course, we had to find him first.

He was nowhere to be found in town, so Emmett and I made the twelve mile drive to LaPush, and our first stop had been at Sam's cabin. Sam Uley was Jacob's second cousin, and he and I have played guitar with each other many nights around a roaring bonfire on the beach. When Sam had answered the door, I'd shaken his hand and politely asked for Jacob. He didn't seem at all surprised to see me, but he'd taken one long look at our faces before declaring that he hadn't seen Jacob since he'd been arrested. I had no way of knowing if he was telling the truth.

Blood is thicker. Always.

"Where the hell is he?" Emmett growled as we drove along the highway running adjacent to the beach.

"He's hiding," I shrugged casually. "He knows I'm looking for him."

"You know we can't _kill_ him," Emmett reminded me again. "I've got Rose, two girls, and a baby on the way, and you have your career and Bella to think about."

I nodded in understanding. I had no intention of committing murder tonight.

"Drive by Paul's," I muttered, pointing at a small cabin on the edge of the beach. Emmett steered his truck down the graveled driveway. Of course, the reservation was as small as the town of Forks, so Paul had already been warned of our impending arrival. He was waiting for us on his front porch.

"Don't bother getting out, Cullen. He's not here." Paul shouted from the first step.

"Any idea where he might be?" I asked. I was surprised at the calmness of my voice.

"I haven't seen him since he made bail," Paul replied. "Why are you looking for him?"

Emmett chuckled darkly, but I continued my friendly façade. "I just need to talk to him, Paul."

"Right," Paul smirked. "If someone had messed with my girl, the last thing I'd want to do is _talk_."

"So you understand."

"I understand," he nodded as he took a long look at the woods. "Look, we go way back, man. I understand it, but you know that I can't just…"

"I know," I mumbled. Emmett swore under his breath as I thanked Paul. Emmett spun gravel as he made his way back out onto the main road.

"Where to?"

Just then, my cell phone vibrated, which was surprising considering there was limited service out on the reservation.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" Charlie asked quietly.

I debated telling him a lie, but then I decided the truth was probably a much better option. If we did find Jacob, Charlie would need to know where to find me so that he could come arrest me.

"LaPush," I admitted quietly.

"Yeah, I figured as much," Charlie grunted. "I know who you're looking for, and he's not on the reservation."

"Where is he, Charlie?"

Charlie was quiet for a few moments before whispering, "Edward, I'm going to need you to come in. It's come to my attention that you've been disturbing the peace down on the rez. It's not my jurisdiction, but I assured them that I'd take care of it."

"What the hell?" I exclaimed. Emmett's eyes shot to me. "We haven't been disturbing…"

"Edward!" Charlie growled. "You are currently arguing with the sheriff, which means I'm going to have to lock you up. You can either turn yourself in or I can come get you. What will it be?"

"Damn it! Fine! I'm on my way."

* * *

"This is complete horseshit!" I growled as Charlie led me through processing. Emmett was on the phone with our father, alerting him that – for the second time in over a week – they'd need to bail one of their sons out of jail.

"The cells are a bit overcrowded," Charlie muttered as we walked down the hallway. "I'm afraid you're going to have to share a cell."

My forehead creased with confusion as we passed three empty cells. When we reached the fourth and final cell, Charlie reached for his key and opened the door, ushering me inside. Awakened by the noise, the prisoner on the bottom bunk rolled over, and I was suddenly face-to-face with Jacob Black. He blinked a few times before recognition dawned, and his face paled.

"So," Charlie smirked as he walked out of the cell and locked the door behind him. "My deputies are all out patrolling, and I'm the only one here, except for the girls in dispatch."

Charlie was letting me know that the place was empty, and that's when I realized that the sheriff wasn't playing the role of sheriff tonight. He was Bella's father.

I watched as Jacob slowly lifted himself from the bunk. His eyes were wide with fear as he grasped the iron bars for support. "Charlie, don't leave me in here…"

"Sorry, Jake…the other cells are full," Charlie answered calmly. "We've had a lot of crime recently. Forced entry…assault…arson." Charlie's voice darkened as his eyes swept over Jacob, and for a brief second, I saw him reach for his gun.

"Charlie," I murmured, and his eyes snapped to mine, effectively bringing him back to reality.

Charlie nodded. "Don't get too comfortable, Edward. I'm sure your father will be here as soon as he can."

I nodded gratefully as Charlie made his way back down the hallway, closing the heavy iron door behind him. A deadly silence filled my ears as Jacob's nostrils flared.

"I hope he's enjoyed his reign as an elected official," Jacob smirked. "When the truth gets out…"

"Yeah," I replied off-handedly as I walked slowly around the small cell, never taking my eyes off his. "It's funny how the truth always comes out, isn't it? Like, I know how you forced your way into Bella's home and scared the shit out of her. I know how you touched her in anger. I know how she still has the bruises around her wrists where you pinned her to the wall."

His eyes widened as I made my way closer to him. He pressed his back against the wall as I leaned closer. "I know how you burned her bookstore to the ground."

Jacob turned ashen.

"The truth is a tricky thing," I whispered menacingly. "It took some investigating, but you were seen running from the back of the bookstore…"

"Who?" Jacob whispered just as I wrapped my hand around his throat. I didn't squeeze nearly as hard as I wanted to, but I still had the satisfaction of seeing his face turn crimson.

"It's a small town," I murmured darkly, "and the truth always comes out."

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket, but I ignored it.

"I could probably have forgiven the arson," I explained quietly. "Her heart wasn't in it anymore, and now she's free to come on tour with me. It was insured, so, really, that was a blessing in disguise. I should probably be thanking you. My next two months away from home won't be nearly as miserable now."

I squeezed a little harder, and I was gratified to hear his breath coming out in rough gasps.

"However," I whispered coldly, "you touched my girl. You left bruises on her body. If my brother hadn't made it in time, you would have done worse. And for just _thinking_ of touching her that way, you're lucky that I didn't grab Charlie's gun and blow your fucking brains out."

My phone continued its irritating vibrating in my pocket.

Swiftly, I pulled my arm back, punching him in the gut. His legs threatened to give out from the force of my attack, but I held him firmly against the cold, iron wall. My fist connected with his face, and I was pleased to see the blood trickling from his nose.

"You have terrorized her for the very last time," I grunted as I punched him one last time in the stomach. This time, I allowed him to fall to the ground as he clutched his stomach in agony. I kneeled to the ground and examined his crumbled form. Blood was dripping from his face, and he was clutching his stomach wildly as his groans resonated off the iron walls.

"I'm glad to see you boys getting along so well," Charlie's voice echoed behind me. I turned to face him, and I could see the pride glowing in his eyes as he saw Jacob on the ground. He nodded at me before whispering, "Your father is here to get you, and uh…you should probably answer your phone."

I nodded as he unlocked the cell, and I waited for him to lock it before he led the way back to the front of the police station. Emmett and Carlisle were both standing there talking rapidly on their cell phones while mine vibrated relentlessly in my pocket.

"We're dealing with our women," Emmett smirked. "It's time you dealt with yours."

Charlie laughed as I pulled my phone from my pocket. Ten missed calls, ten voice mails, and numerous frantic texts…all from Bella.

"Hi, baby."

"Don't you '_hi baby'_ me," Bella growled adorably. "What did you do? If you killed him, you'll go to jail! Do you understand that? Jail! No house, no wedding, no babies, no songwriting deal. You will go to prison, and there won't be a damn thing my father can do to save you because he'll be right there with you! We leave town for one afternoon…ONE AFTERNOON…and the men in my life have to get all _frontier justice_ on me? Did you stop for one second and think about the consequences that you'd face?"

"Bella, calm down. I didn't kill him," I whispered soothingly.

"You did _something_!"

"I just…beat him up a little," I admitted softly. "He deserved much worse."

Bella sighed softly. "It doesn't matter what he _deserved_. You should have let the police handle it!"

I glanced at Charlie, whose face was still etched with smug pride. "The police did handle it. They arrested him."

"You mean my father arrested him just so that you could beat him up!"

"Maybe," I replied softly. "Where are you?"

"We're nearly home," Bella sighed. "I'm having them drop me off at my house."

Fear flooded me. "Why?"

"Because I want to sleep in my own bed tonight," Bella whispered.

"Do you want to sleep alone?" I sounded desperate, but damn, was she seriously so mad that she didn't want to stay with me tonight?

"Of course not," she said. "I expect you there when I get home."

I couldn't help but smile. "I'll be there, baby."

All three of the Cullen men shut their phone at once, and we all smirked at each other. Yes, our women were pissed, but they'd forgive us, because they loved us.

"It's times like these that I'm reminded why I'm happy that I never remarried," Charlie smirked as he patted my shoulder.

"Thanks, Charlie," I murmured quietly.

"I should be thanking you," he muttered softly as he walked me out. "You love my baby girl a lot, and I know that I'll never have to worry about her. You'll take care of her. That's really all a dad wants, you know. To know that his daughter will be taken care of."

"I promise that I will," I replied firmly, and he nodded. Charlie Swan was a man of few words, but no one could deny how much he loved his daughter.

* * *

Bella's house was empty as I made my way inside, and I decided it was probably a good idea to take a shower, erasing any sign of Jacob Black's pungent odor from my skin. I smiled when I saw my body wash in the shower stall, and I used it liberally, hoping to camouflage any lasting remnants of this night.

The shower was quick, and I tied a towel around my waist and was using another to dry my hair as I made my way back into the bedroom. My breath hitched in my throat when I saw what awaited me.

Bella was lying across her bed, wearing the sexiest piece of lingerie I'd ever seen in my life. I instantly hardened as my eyes devoured her. Her hair was down and splayed across the pillow, and her skin was creamy against the transparent blue of the gown.

"I know you like to see me in blue," she whispered softly as she opened her legs in invitation.

"I prefer to see you in nothing," I murmured huskily as I dropped my towel and crawled between her legs, placing a soft kiss along the inside of her thigh. She moaned softly as my kisses traveled north, and I softly traced her lacy panties with my finger. "But you look gorgeous in this. Is it new?"

"A gift from your sister. She called it my _reunion lingerie_. We just didn't get to use it in Nashville."

"We'll use it now," I murmured as I kissed her stomach. "Am I to assume you aren't mad at me anymore?"

Bella's hands wove in my hair as I continued kissing up her body. "Yes, I'm mad."

I knew that she wasn't…not really.

I grinned against her skin as she trembled.

"Did he touch you?"

"Not once," I promised her.

"Edward," she plead softly. "I need you."

Hearing my girl beg for me was my undoing, and my hands found the lacy fabric of her gown – tearing it to shreds in my frantic haste to be as close to her as humanly possible. Bella moaned as the lace fell away from her body, and I covered her body with mine.

* * *

Later that night, we talked about Jane's offer for Bella to join me out on the road for the remainder of the tour, and I was thrilled when she jumped at the chance. I called Jane immediately, who arranged for us to meet up with the tour in Billings, Montana at the end of the week. From there, we'd play the remaining U.S. cities – including the dates I'd missed in Minnesota – until we made our way into Canada. My leg of the tour would conclude in Ontario.

I couldn't wait for Ontario. I had _big_ plans for Ontario.

As she slept peacefully in my arms, I thought about how precious she was to me and how we'd fallen in love so easily. It was natural and innocent and just…perfect. The next two months suddenly weren't so scary, now that I knew she would be my side.

Despite all of our recent heartache, it was surprising how – for the first time in a long time – our lives were pretty perfect.

* * *

***BPOV***

The rest of the week was crazy as I'd tried to pack and make last minute arrangements for my time away from Forks. I cancelled my newspaper delivery and forwarded my mail to the Cullens' house. I was so excited to be going away. With the bookstore no longer a concern, I was free to travel with Edward for the rest of his tour.

In a severely messed-up way, I really owed a lot to Jacob Black. More than once, I had wondered if I should stop by the jail and thank him for making all of this happen, but neither Edward nor Charlie thought that was a good idea. The day after Mike Newton had come forward, Jacob admitted to setting fire to the store. His motive had been revenge, but little did he know that he'd helped free me of a burden that had been weighing heavily on my mind.

As much as I loved my little store, the serenity it provided me was gone. I'd tried so hard to hang on, thinking it was my very last connection to my mom, but Edward helped me see that I could find that same tranquility in other ways. With that in mind – on the day the girls and I had gone into Port Angeles – I had dropped by the campus of Peninsula College and talked to an admissions advisor. Because I already had a Bachelor's in English, I would only have to take nine hours of library science courses to be granted my endorsement. The next day, I'd contacted Forks High School and was thrilled to learn that the current librarian – who was older than some of the books on the shelves – was hoping to retire at the end of this school year. When they heard I was Charlie Swan's daughter, I was encouraged to get my endorsement as quickly as I could. Theoretically, I could be Forks High School librarian by next school year.

To say I was excited was an understatement.

Part of me was still upset with the men in my life. They'd each taken a huge risk to defend my honor, and it bothered me greatly. All of them had been so focused on being my protectors that they never stopped to consider the consequences of their actions. Edward could have been arrested, which would have put a huge glitch in the tour. My father could be removed from office for allowing Jacob to be beaten under his watch, and Emmett could have gotten additional jail time to add to his previous assault charge. Thankfully, Jacob was feeling generous and was keeping his mouth shut for now. Who knew how long that would last?

Today, we were flying out of Sea-Tac on our way to Montana, so last night had been spent with our family. Charlie had come over, and all of us had gathered around the table. Edward kept one hand on me all night long, and every so often, we'd look each other's way. His smile could still stop my heart, and I loved seeing him surrounded by his family. He'd missed so much time with them – and was getting ready to miss even more – but this departure was a short one, and I was going with him. We'd be back in two months, and then we'd start building our house and I'd begin my classes. Edward still had to fulfill his album deal with Eclipse, and he'd been writing a lot more lately, hoping to have a massive catalog of songs to work with when the time came. Our lives were moving forward, and I couldn't have been happier.

"Flight 335 to Billings, Montana is now boarding," the gate attendant announced, and we turned to our smiling family, all of whom had made the trip to Seattle. Jasper and Alice had even dropped by to see us off, and it was a lovely picture. We hugged and kissed our families goodbye, and before I could blink, we were thirty thousand feet in the air.

"You're quiet," Edward whispered as he squeezed my hand. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good," I smiled at him. "Just excited and overwhelmed."

Edward lifted my hand and kissed each of my knuckles. "I understand the excited part, but why are you feeling overwhelmed?"

"I'm just so happy, Edward. So blissfully happy, and I guess I'm just waiting for the storm to hit."

"The storm?"

"You know," I grinned, "The calm before the storm? Everything is so perfect now. It can't possibly last…"

"Ah," he murmured softly, "but you have to know by now that we'll make it through any storm. Look at all we've been through so far – with and without each other – and still, here we are…"

"Here we are."

"And here is where we will always be."

"Together." I smiled happily.

"Forever," he murmured, and he pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose.

Completely content, I snuggled against his side as he quietly sang to me, and I fell into a dreamless, peaceful sleep.


	20. Love is a Burning Thing

**AN: I was just interviewed by TheTwinklings. The link to the interview is in my profile if you're interested. **

**This is the last official chapter. Next is the epilogue. No tears! This chick has had an awesome summer, but vacation is almost over and I'll be back to molding young minds. You won't have time to miss me. You're reading "Songbird" right? :)**

**Snarkerella is my angel beta. Chapter title can be found in the story, but I bet you can figure it out. :)**

**I have more notes at the bottom.**

* * *

Chapter 20

_Love is a Burning Thing_

* * *

***BPOV***

I had absolutely insisted that Jane give me a job on the tour – not because I wanted money, but because I learned very quickly that there was _a lot_ of downtime. As much as I loved my quality time with Edward, there were times when he was giving interviews, writing, or rehearsing, and it was during those times that I found myself agitated and in need of something to fill the hours. Jane decided to use my English degree as justification to hire me as a blogger for the Eclipse website. My job was to keep an online blog of the tour stops and take pictures of the audience. It was dead easy and allowed me to take a small role in Edward's musical life.

Our first show had been in Billings, Montana at MetraPark. A recent tornado had recently destroyed a section of the arena, which led to some last minute changes with stage placement and seating, but Jane and her crew handled the situation and the show went on as planned. From there, we'd traveled through North and South Dakota, playing at some outdoor festivals in both states. Because Edward owed the city of Minneapolis a show, we left the tour for a few days and played the Fine Music Line Café, a club in the heart of downtown Minneapolis. It wasn't the twenty-thousand seat arena in which Edward had been used to playing, and I could tell that he was much more comfortable in a smaller setting. To be honest, so was I. It was just much more intimate and cozy, and I knew that if Edward had any plans to continue touring, he'd want to play venues just like this one. We were slowly but surely making our way through the northern United States, and the first month was nearly over.

As we found a rhythm in the road, and the cities and towns became a blur in my mind, it was easy to see what Edward had meant when he said that living on the road could be tiresome and mind-numbing. As I updated my blog and uploaded pictures, I tried to name venues that I couldn't even remember visiting, and I'd only been here for a few weeks. I couldn't imagine doing this for months. It was also easy to see what he meant by the road being a lonely place. I'd never quite understood what he meant. I mean, how could anyone be lonely when twenty thousand adoring fans were screaming your name each night? But no matter how rowdy the crowd, the lights would always go down at the end of the night, and a musician would find himself all alone. I watched, night after night, as band members made their way back to their tour buses. Some went alone; some didn't. Either way, those artists always woke up by themselves the next morning – unless, of course, they brought their spouses out on the road.

That was something else I learned very quickly – you didn't see many wives or serious girlfriends out on the road. Someone had to keep the home fires burning, and I understood that. I just considered myself lucky that I was able to spend this time with my man and make this tour a little easier on both of us.

Edward was performing non-stop, and while we made time for some personal sightseeing along the way, we didn't just settle for the typical touristy locales. I wasn't sure that we'd ever have the chance to visit these places again, and we were both content to find interesting, out-of-the way places to spend what little downtime we were allowed. We picked strawberries at Raspberry Ranch, an orchard just outside of Langdon, North Dakota. Two weeks later, we went stargazing in a wildlife area called Crex Meadows in western Wisconsin. There were dozens of little stops along the way, each of them simple and unique and just so us.

As Jane predicted, Eclipse was so pleased with Edward's performances and ticket sales that they offered to extend his tour. The deal was actually quite lucrative and would require Edward to be on the road for six more months. At my coaxing, Edward promised that he would give it some serious thought, and we took some time to discuss our options with Jane. I couldn't continue on tour with him, of course. I planned to start school as soon as we returned home in hopes of securing the librarian's job at Forks High. This was the deciding factor for Edward. No matter how much I encouraged him to consider this deal, he refused to discuss it any further because six additional months of touring meant six months overseas. I knew we could make it, but he was adamant. Europe was just too far away, and he wanted to go home. Much to our delight – and Victoria's chagrin – Jane negotiated a publishing deal with Eclipse upon completion of his current contract.

Victoria kept her distance once Edward rejoined the tour, and I had no idea if that was because Jane had threatened to sue her ass, or if it was because I was there. I would catch her staring at me as I watched Edward from backstage, and there were many times I wanted to slap the shit out of her just on general principle. But for the most part, I ignored her.

We kept in constant contact with our family back in Forks. Rosalie's pregnancy was blissfully uneventful as she neared her delivery date. Jacob had admitted to burning my store, and in exchange for his guilty plea, the district attorney had offered him a lesser charge of second degree arson. His plea, along with his assault charge, was sending Jacob Black to prison for five years. Edward said it wasn't nearly long enough, but I was just pleased it was over, and that the insurance company was happy with the investigation.

The final month of our tour found us in the Canadian provinces of Manitoba and Ontario. The crowds were energetic as ever as the Eclipse tour traveled from Ottawa to Toronto. As we traveled across the province, Edward became increasingly more and more affectionate. He'd end each set with a song dedicated to me, and we'd barely make it back to the tour bus before his hands were all over me. Whenever I'd question this new exuberance, he'd shrug and just tell me how much he loved me and how precious I was to him. I also noticed that he and Jane were whispering more and he was listening to a lot of Johnny Cash. I didn't mind the music, but the whispers were making me suspicious.

I really hated secrets, especially when I wasn't in on them.

Before I could blink, we were in London, Ontario – the last stop on our tour with Eclipse. From here, the musicians would continue on into Quebec, but all of the Washington citizens were ready go home. Jane was heading back to Seattle to secure studio space for Edward so that he could begin recording his first new album in over five years. He'd written so many new songs throughout the tour, and he had a huge catalog of songs from which to choose. As for us, we couldn't wait to get home to Forks. Charlie had already found a contractor whose crew was ready to start building whenever we could decide on a floor plan. I had given Edward my wish list, and through several emails and phone calls, he thought that he and Charlie had designed a floor plan that would give us everything we wanted – including those rocking chairs on the front porch.

"He really loves you," Jane murmured in my ear as I watched Edward wow the crowd in the arena. He was nearing the end of his set, and he seemed to be more nervous than usual tonight. He was fidgeting with his guitar and fumbling with the microphone, and it wasn't like him at all. The audience didn't seem to notice as they chanted his name.

"I really love him, too," I replied as I turned her way. Jane smiled at me before turning her attention back to the stage.

"He's going to have a heart attack," she chuckled as we watched him nervously take a drink out of his water bottle. A band mate was suddenly at his side, and Edward took his old acoustic guitar from the guy, handing off the electric guitar he'd been playing for the past couple of songs. Another band member brought a second stool, and placed it right next to Edward. Suddenly, the lights lowered on the stage, and the blue of the spotlight settled on his handsome face as Edward settled himself on the stool – his trusty guitar strapped to his back.

"This is our last show," Edward waved toward his band mates in the background. "We want to thank all of you for your support, and I personally want to thank you for welcoming me back into music. It has been an incredible three months, but I am ready to go home."

The crowd cheered loudly and began to chant his name as Edward turned his gaze to the back of the stage. His eyes found mine, and a small smile crept over his face before he turned back to the crowd. "My girl is here with me tonight. Would you like to meet her?"

_Holy crap!_

I was shaking my head furiously as the crowd roared. Behind me, Jane was laughing and pushing me by the shoulders.

"No!" I screeched at the top of my lungs. "I am not going out there. He's crazy!"

"She's shy," Edward grinned at the crowd. "Her name is Bella, and she is the love of my life. Help me welcome her out on stage?"

Just like marionettes on strings, the crowd began to chant _my_ name.

_Traitors._

"You'll really regret this if you don't go," Jane whispered in my ear. "He loves you more than life, and he's very nervous. Trust me when I say that you _want_ to go out there."

I searched her face for any sign of explanation. She only offered me a soft smile before I turned back toward the stage. The smile on Edward's face was so sweet, and before I could realize what was happening, I felt my legs carry me out onto the stage and into the blinding sapphire spotlight. Edward extended his hand toward me as the crowd erupted with applause, and I felt a little dizzy as I took my place next to him on the unoccupied stool.

"I have one last song to sing," Edward announced into the microphone – his eyes never leaving my face. "It's a cover of an old Johnny Cash song that's one of my favorites. I love it because it was written by his wife, June. She wrote it for Johnny – long before they were married – to describe the way she felt about the man that would someday be her husband."

Edward reached over and pushed a strand of hair away from my face. His eyes were shining as he smiled at me.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered into the microphone. A chorus of "awwws" could be heard throughout the arena, and I giggled.

"I love you, too."

With nothing but his guitar to accompany him, Edward began to strum and sing.

"_Love is a burning thing_

_And it makes a fiery ring_

_Bound by wild desire_

_I fell into a ring of fire."_

I had heard this song streaming through the tour bus for the past few weeks. As much as I loved Johnny Cash and the mariachi horns that accompanied his voice in the song, I knew that I would never hear it again without remembering this moment – with this man – on this stage. Just my man and his guitar, singing slowly and sweetly as his eyes never left my face.

"_And it burns, burns, burns_

_The ring of fire, the ring of fire…"_

The crowd exploded as the song faded, and tears were streaming down my face as Edward slowly stood from his stool. A band member rushed to his side and took his guitar out of his hands, and I watched curiously as Edward reached into his jeans. I heard some muffled gasps coming from the front row as he pulled something out his pocket, and then the entire arena exploded as they watched Edward drop to one knee in front of me.

_"Did you know that Johnny Cash proposed to June Carter while they were singing a duet on stage in Canada?"_

He had shared that fact with me months ago – in the middle of my little bookstore – when he was in desperate need of a job. I never dreamed that those words would come back to haunt me in the most beautiful of ways. It was the most romantic moment of my life, and I couldn't see his face because I was crying so hard.

"Bella Swan, you are everything I've ever wanted but never dreamed I'd find." He opened the little box, and I gasped as my eyes cleared just enough to focus on the ring. It was silver with a princess-cut stone. It was simple and beautiful, and I cried harder as he lifted it from the confines of the velvet box.

"Will you marry me?" Edward whispered.

His face was such a mixture of emotions. Fear. Excitement. Happiness. Nausea.

I couldn't help it. I started to giggle. Is this why he'd been so nervous all night? Was this the big secret? Did he actually think I'd say _no_?

I reached down and caressed his sweet face. He grinned as he gazed up at me from his place on the floor. "I'm ready to throw up, and you're laughing?"

"I'm laughing because there's a tiny part of you that's actually afraid that I'm going to turn you down…" I whispered softly, "…..as if there was any way I could say no to you."

"You _should_ turn me down," Edward murmured softly, his eyes never leaving mine. "You deserve so much better…"

"There's nothing better," I whispered softly. "There's _no one_ better than you. I would be honored…so deeply honored…to be your wife."

His eyes were brimming with tears. "Is that a yes, sweet girl?"

"That's a yes," I smiled.

The crowd's roar was deafening as Edward rose to his feet. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the ground, twirling me through the air.

* * *

**You know how I am about research, so here we go….**

**Jacob's prison sentence may not be completely right. In Washington, first degree arson was anywhere from 10-13 years in prison. Second degree was much less, so I went with that since he was a good boy and confessed. I found Crex Meadows and Raspberry Ranch on Google. Thanks to rebadams7 for the Minneapolis information. In researching Billings, I found MetraPark. The tornado story is true, so I decided to use it here just to make it more authentic. If I have any readers from Billings, I hope you were safe and sound after the storms. The John Labatt Centre is a real venue in London, Ontario. Johnny Cash proposed to June in London, Ontario, but not at this particular arena. *waves to my Canadian readers***

**3daygirl – I want you to know how much your PM touched my heart. Thank you.**

**If you guys read all of that, you must really love me. Now, I'll shut up so you can review. :)**


	21. I'm a Lucky Man

**AN: Here's the epilogue. It is divided into two parts, both of which are posted here. **

**Chapter title comes from Pearl Jam's "Just Breathe." Thanks, Scrimmy!**

**The book Edward is reading is called **_**Family Happiness**_** by Leo Tolstoy.**

**Much more love at the bottom.**

* * *

Epilogue

_I'm a Lucky Man to Count on Both Hands the Ones I Love_

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***BPOV***

_**Three months later**_

"You are exquisite."

I felt the blush creep across my cheeks as Esme stood behind me, pinning the antique barrette into my hair. I was trying so hard not to be nervous. Or throw up. Or cry. But Esme kept talking, and it was becoming increasingly more difficult to control my emotions.

"You are a mother's prayer come true," Esme whispered as her hands expertly arranged my hair as it flowed down the back of my dress. "For years, I prayed that Edward would find someone like you, and now he has."

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. "Someone like me?"

She walked around to face me, and her eyes were sparkling with tears as she gently patted my cheek. "So lovely…and yes, someone like you. Someone who accepts him and his flaws. Someone who grounds him. Someone who loves him whole-heartedly and without judgment of his past. And most importantly, someone _he_ loves just as much in return."

I wanted to tell her how much I appreciated her words and how much they warmed my heart. I wanted to tell her that by loving Edward, he had given me everything I had ever wanted. Not only did I have his unconditional love, but I had a large family with whom to share that love. But I didn't tell her any of those things. For one thing, she'd hear them in my vows. For another, I was already so close to crying, and I didn't want to suffer Alice's wrath if she had to reapply my make-up.

The last three months had been a complete whirlwind. Upon the news of our engagement, Alice and Esme went into wedding planning overdrive. Neither of us wanted a long engagement, and while Alice had complained that there was no way she could plan an acceptable wedding in three months, she relented when we'd threatened to elope. Suddenly, three months was _more_ than enough time, and the best part of it was that I had absolutely nothing to do with any of the planning. Sure, I'd been asked to pick out colors and dresses, and I'd been required to try on my dress, but other than that, the planning and organization had been left in Alice and Esme's capable hands. When deciding on a location for the wedding, there really was just one obvious choice. Thankfully, the weather was cooperating, and the meadow was lush and green and brimming with multi-colored wildflowers. We had picked our favorite spot in the meadow, and Emmett and Jasper had arranged chairs to form an aisle that led to an arch entwined with ivy. It was simple and beautiful and everything I had ever pictured for my wedding day.

Of course, there was one special person missing from this perfect day, but I felt my mother's presence each time Esme squeezed my hand. She was playing both roles today – the mother of the bride _and_ of the groom. I would thank her later, when I could do so without crying. Or, I'd save that for my vows, as well…when my tears would be expected and much more tolerable.

"Aunt Alice says it's time!" Claire and Katie giggled as they made their way into Alice's old bedroom. I smiled down at the girls in their white organza dresses and pink wings and matching headband. We had decided not to have a wedding party, but I absolutely insisted that the twins be a part of the wedding. Alice had found the dresses in a Seattle boutique, and the girls had squealed with delight when we'd called them our "flower girl angels." They were completely adorable. They had insisted on a pair of wings for their new baby brother, as well, but Emmett had put his foot down. Regardless, once I make my way to the altar, I won't be at all surprised to see Rosalie holding Baby Henry, all decked out in his onesie and wings. Em could be as gruff as he wanted, but his stern resolve disappeared whenever his twin daughters were involved. It was just further evidence that the Cullen men were the best fathers in the world.

There was one exception to that rule, however, and he was standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting to give me away. Charlie's eyes were rimmed with red, and it broke my heart that he was crying already.

"Your mother would be so proud of the woman you've become. You look beautiful, Isabella."

It was his use of my real name – and the mention of my mother – that finally brought me to tears.

"What'd I say?" Charlie's voice groaned as Hurricane Alice made her way into the living room with a make-up bag in hand. I linked my arm through Charlie's as she buffed and concealed and applied more mascara to my eyelashes.

"It's not your fault, Dad," I whispered. "I'm just emotional today."

"Of course you are," Esme patted my hand affectionately. "Now, Jane has your bouquet..."

I smiled at Edward's manager and my best friend as she handed me my wildflower bouquet. She gently kissed my cheek before wiping her own eyes and making her way out onto the front porch. I was thankful that we'd chosen a dress without a train as I made my way down the steps and into the car that would carry me to the meadow.

* * *

I felt his eyes on me as soon as I stepped out of the car. It was impossible to ignore his penetrating gaze, and I found myself hypnotized by his stare as Charlie led me down the aisle. We'd only invited a handful of guests because we'd wanted to keep it simple and intimate. I knew Liam and Siobhan were here, as were some of Edward's band mates and a few of my loyal customers from the bookstore. I could hear their appreciative gasps as I walked down the aisle with my father, but I couldn't focus on anyone. We were in a bubble – just Edward and I – and there was no other place I'd rather be.

Edward's smile was breathtaking as Charlie led me to his side, and I handed my bouquet to Jane before entwining my hands with his.

"Dearly beloved," Mr. Weber began. John Weber was an old friend of my fathers and the pastor of the Lutheran church in town. "We are gathered here today…"

Edward's emerald eyes were shining as he gazed down at me. He squeezed my hand, and I squeezed his right back while Mr. Weber talked about the sanctity of marriage. His face was etched with emotion and love, and his expression nearly broke me. But I was determined to keep a tight reign on my emotions, at least until the vows. I knew what a poet he could be, and I was certain his vows would bring me to tears.

"Edward and Bella have chosen to write their own vows. Bella will begin," Mr. Weber announced softly. I smiled into the eyes I loved so much, and recited my vows.

"Today, I am surrounded by so much love, and it's almost more than my heart can hold," I whispered sincerely as I gazed into his eyes. "Not only do I have you standing here, pledging your life to me, but we are surrounded by our family. My father accepted you without question. Your family welcomed me with open arms. And while my mother isn't with us today, I can feel her spirit, and I know she's looking down on us and is so happy that we found each other."

A lone tear trickled down my face, and Edward softly wiped it away with his knuckle.

"You amaze me, and I am so proud of you. I know you tell everyone that I've made you the man that you are today, but I don't think that's the whole truth. That man was always inside of you. I think I just helped pick the lock that was keeping him caged. And in turn, you showed me how to take chances in life and to trust my instincts while loving me completely and unconditionally. All girls should be as adored as I am, and I pray that your little nieces and our future daughters someday find a man who looks at them the way you're looking at me right now. They shouldn't settle for less than that, and I am so lucky to have it. I love you with all of my heart and soul, and I cannot wait to be your wife."

Edward lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back of my knuckles as a tear seeped along his cheek. I brought my other hand to his face and gently brushed it away.

"My sweet girl," Edward whispered softly as he kissed the back of my hand once more. "Despite the fact that I'm a songwriter, I found it so hard to put into words how precious you are to me. I worked on these vows for weeks, but nothing felt right. So, I went looking for some inspiration, and I found my journal – you know…the one we kept for each other when I was away?"

I nodded softly as he continued.

"That separation didn't last nearly as long as we'd expected, but that month without you only cemented how much I loved you. I was flipping through the pages and I found an entry I made just days before you flew to Nashville. I must have had the day off, because on that day, I didn't write anything about the road or the show. It was just me, writing a letter to the girl I loved more than anything in this world. It wasn't perfect, but it was heartfelt, and that's what I want to share with you today."

I expected him to pull the page of his journal out of his pocket, but he surprised me by reciting the whole thing from memory.

"I wake up each morning with you on my mind. I go to sleep each night, and I see your face behind my closed eyelids. You are in my every thought, my every dream, my every decision, and my every movement. I think about your big brown eyes and how they are a window into your soul, and I'm amazed by the beauty I see there. I think about your heart and how, in your heart, I've found my home. Even if I was a billionaire, your heart would always be my greatest treasure. To know that you trust me with your heart, means more to me than I could ever put into words, and I promise to love you and protect you until I breathe my last breath."

He ended his vows by brushing his lips against my palm, and with that tender gesture, I couldn't control my tears a moment longer. We exchanged rings, and through my tear-filled haze, I gazed into Edward's handsome face as Mr. Weber pronounced us husband and wife. Our family cheered, but I couldn't focus on their happy faces. All I could see was him, and I all I could feel were his lips on mine.

**

* * *

**

***EPOV***

_**Five years later**_

"Daddy, tell me the story," Emily grins as she climbs into my lap. I can't help but smile as I close my book and place it on the porch. She loves to sit with me in my rocking chair, but she loves to hear stories even more. She also has a mildly unhealthy obsession with 80's music and children's storybooks.

There is absolutely no doubt that this beautiful child is our daughter.

I can't resist teasing her. "Which story, baby girl?"

"You know…." Emily sighs as she points out into the yard. Bella is working in her flowerbed, planting the roses in such a way that the bushes will get the most of what little sunshine the skies of Forks can offer.

"_You_ could tell me this story," I grin down at her. "You've heard it enough."

"But I want you to tell it," Emily murmurs, rising up just a little to press a kiss to my cheek before snuggling deep into my arms once again. For a mere preschooler, she is quite the little manipulator.

"Her dress was white," I whisper as my mind recalls with startling clarity the way Bella looked on our wedding day. "It was made of lace, and she was the prettiest girl that Daddy had ever seen."

"Until me!" Emily smiles at me with her mother's beautiful brown eyes. It still amazes me that they are the exact same shade as Bella's.

"Until you," I agree softly as I kiss the top of her hair, and I once again find myself wondering how it's possible that my life is filled with so much love and happiness.

So much has changed in our lives during the past five years, but some things have stayed just the same. Bella and I still worship the ground upon which the other walks. She spends her days as the librarian at Forks High School, and I play music and write songs in our basement studio. I fulfilled my contractual obligations to Eclipse, and my three albums were met with moderate success. They had offered me yet another deal, but by then Emily had been born, and there wasn't enough money in the world that could drag me away from the life we'd created here.

Despite the constant rain, our house was finished about six months after we returned from our honeymoon. Bella had immediately started school, and as promised, was hired as the librarian when school started back in the fall. She absolutely loves working in the library, and the students adore her. Some of the boys even have crushes on Mrs. Cullen, and I was constantly warning her that those horn-rimmed reading glasses only help to make those fantasies more vivid in their minds. I know this, because I'm a man, and those glasses haunt my fantasies, as well. She just rolls her eyes at me and blushes. She still has no idea how beautiful she is, no matter how much I try to convince her.

Emily Jane Cullen came along before our first wedding anniversary. She is the spitting image of her mother, except for the unruly copper hair that hangs in tendrils around her heart-shaped face. She is the joy of our lives, and she will be meeting her baby brother in just a few months. We're still trying to decide on a name for him, and Emily loves to pretend that she's reading with us in the baby name books. Our little girl loves music, books, and strawberry cupcakes. She has just started showing an interest in the piano and can already play some songs by ear. She attends preschool at Forks Elementary and is, of course, the best reader in her class.

It still amazes me that they read in preschool.

Our family is healthy and happy. Charlie chose to retire last year and now spends his days doting on his granddaughter and teaching her and Henry how to fish. He is dating Lucy, the owner of the flower shop in town. Carlisle and Esme are still crazy in love. Dad is considering retirement and Mom has started painting. Alice and Jasper got married not long after our wedding. She works in fashion, and Jasper is still teaching at the university. Emmett and Rosalie live close by, and the twins are now ten years old and as cute as ever. Claire keeps her nose stuck in a book, and Katie is taking gymnastics. Our little nephew Henry is five years old and plays little league baseball. He looks just like his father and has his mother's temper.

Jane continues to guide my career, and she's still representing independent artists. She has had several offers from major record labels, but she refuses to leave Seattle. She visits about once a month, and she and Bella are the very best of friends.

The house is exactly as Bella described the day we walked along the property. It is rustic and brown, with two stories and a wrap-around porch. Our rocking chairs are along each side of the door. We spend many late afternoons out here on the porch, watching Emily play on her swing set in the yard while Bella reads and I play my guitar. Our life is simple and sweet, and you couldn't search the planet and find a happier man than me.

I glance down and see that Emily has fallen asleep against my chest. I stroke her face and kiss her head as I gently rock her in the chair. I look across the grass and watch as Bella pulls herself to her feet. She is six months pregnant, and grumbles about being too fat to walk, but the constant glow on her face assures me that she's just as happy and content as I am.

"She won't sleep tonight," Bella whispers as she climbs up the steps and picks up my book before settling herself into her rocker.

"It's Friday," I shrug, and she smiles as she flips through the pages.

"I love this book," Bella murmurs appreciatively. We fall silent as the sound of the river surrounds us. The rhythm of the rocking chair is soothing, and I'm happy to fully comprehend why my father spent so much time out on his front porch.

"I was just getting to my favorite part," I murmur softly. Bella flips the page and her eyes scan over the text. She looks up at me and smiles, and I ask her to read it aloud.

"_I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work - which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor - such is my idea of happiness. And then, on top of all that, you for a mate, and children, perhaps - what more can the heart of man desire?"_

Tolstoy was a genius.

Bella softly closes the book and walks over to me. She carefully lifts Emily into her arms and I watch as my baby girl nuzzles her mother's shoulder. I wrap my arm around Bella's waist and pull her into my lap. She kisses me softly and sighs contently as she snuggles into my embrace, and we rock peacefully in the chair – my wife, my daughter, my son, and I.

In my arms, I hold my greatest treasures.

**~The End~**

* * *

**If you have loved the music from this story, I have made a playlist for each chapter. I have posted the link to the playlist on my profile. Please have a listen and let me know what you think. **

**Bella's wedding dress, flower girl dresses, and Bella's bouquet can be found on my profile. My sweet beta picked out Bella's dress. Please check them out.**

**Thank you so much to everyone who read, reviewed, rec'd, offered song suggestions, gave me ideas for locales, etc. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all of you.**

**Thanks to snarkerella for being my beta. Words cannot describe how lucky I am to have you on my side. Thanks to ms ambrosia for making my pretty banner, and to bgwillis for making the thread over at Twilighted.**

**There are no plans for a sequel. I am going to concentrate on "Songbird" for now, but I am sure it won't be long until I find inspiration for a new story. Please put me on author alert so you won't miss it. :)**

**Much love,**

**SydneyAlice**


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